Yesterday I got home from school early and the house was quiet and my parents bedroom door was closed. About 30 minutes later I heard the garage door open and a guy I didn't know backed his car out of the garage and drove off. I went downstairs and the shower was running. My mom came out later and told me she was taking a nap when I got home. I'm not dumb, I really think something was going on. I can't even think about how to talk to her about it and I wouldn't dream of telling my dad or my sister. What can I do?
2006-12-06 06:02:47 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell your mother what you saw and what your suspicions are. I wouldn't tell my dad or sister either because it's not your responsibility. It's your mom's. Make her face her own responsibilities. It'll just be worse if YOU break the news to everyone.
2006-12-06 06:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by gigi_victory 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your not going to tell your father then you can do nothing. You can confront her and tell her you know she is having an affair. She will either go quiet or blow up. Be prepared. In some aspects its not your business but this will effect your quality of life.
I think you should tell your father what you saw. Not the conclusions you drew from it, just the FACTS. Parents door was closed, 30 mins later the garage door opened with a strange man backing his car out of it, mom in the shower saying then she had just woken up from a nap. Remember the messenger gets blamed, but in the end it is for the best.
2006-12-06 14:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, that's a really hard question! Honestly it's hard to make accusations without real proof, based on feelings, and telling your dad will set him off for sure, and lead to feelings of mistrust and hurt. Even if you have proof, it will lead to what will likely be the end of your family unit.
I mean, wow, this is deep.
There must be a constructive way to find out the motivations of why your mom would do that, risking everything...
You could go the way of hidden cameras with motion detectors, etc. then confront your mom with it personally, tell her your fears, and that you'll keep it between the tow of you if it stops. She'll freak about her "privacy" being invaded, but what she's possibly doing effects the whole family.
Families an recover from infedility, but there must be communication, honesty and openness as well as a desire for it to work out and for the family to pull through and survive.
I think it should be more directly dealt with between you and your mom for now. take her for a walk after dinner, tell her your thoughts, and even if she refuses to admit, let her know how you think it will effect the family. Bring up the example of - if it was your dad coming home early instead of you...
Again, it's probably one of the toughest questions I can imagine, so keep your head up, and follow your heart. You'll do what's right in the end. Also, know that one way or another, this will resolve itself in the end. I tmay go on forever, with no one the wiser, or it could stop on its own, or one day, your dad really may be the one coming home early...it will be resolved somehow.
2006-12-06 14:15:21 · answer #3 · answered by jeremy82many 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a horrible dilemma for you to be in. I'm so sorry. Sweety, the first question you have to ask yourself is, "What can " I " live with?" You have to consider all the consequences here. If you confront your mother and give her an ultimatum, you may not like the outcome. If you tell your father, you may not like the outcome. If you do nothing and don't tell him and he finds out later, what if he asks you, "Did you know?". How will you answer that? I would suggest that you "talk" to your mother privately first, but do Not make any demands on her. It will be easier for you to decide what course of action will be best for "you" once you have more information. If you still have trouble reaching a decision after talking with her, I would suggest you talk to a counselor or someone else you can truly trust. I have included links where you can connect w/ trained couselors that may be better able to assist you. I wish you the best of luck. ...I would also suggest that you seek guidance from the One that is all knowing. The power of prayer can not be denied. God bless you and your family.
2006-12-06 14:36:58 · answer #4 · answered by gypsie_soul06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not have been put in that situation. You do not need to talk to your Mom about it, just let her know you know....that may be enough to make her see she is wrong and stop it. You can casually say to her, like when you are in the kitchen alone, or when you are getting out of the car if she drives you someplace, " I saw that guy leaving the other day when I came home early" or " I know what you are doing" and leave it at that. I am sorry and I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-06 14:09:50 · answer #5 · answered by diturtlelady2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, think about how your father and sister will feel when they find out what happened. You should confront your mother and tell her that you know what happened. Explain to her that you would not like to hurt your family and that she needs to stop what she's doing. Your mom is probably looking for something exciting if your dad doesn't seem to care for her. Maybe your parents are having problems. You can probably tell her that you love her but that there's something extremely important that you need to speak to her about (in Private). Be confident in yourself that you can speak up, but don't yell at her because then the situation would get out of your hands. If you would not like to do this, then let time go by and let your dad find out for himself.....though this would definetly hurt him more. Think carefully, and keep your temper when speaking with your mother.
2006-12-06 14:14:11 · answer #6 · answered by Yesy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront your mother in a calm manner and tell her what you saw. I believe you deserve an explanation. Because it affects you as much as it will affect anyone else in your family. She is not thinking of anyone but her self. If she is that unhappy and it is something your parents can no longer work out well tell her not to be unfair to her family. I would suggest she be the one to tell your father. I am so sorry for what you saw but you never know it may be nothing. I wish you the best and no matter what the outcome is your parents will always be you parents.
2006-12-06 14:28:39 · answer #7 · answered by flower 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is heavy.
I think you should make a date with just you and your mom. Don't accuse her of anything, but let her know what you saw. Let her know that you love her and you are concerned about what you saw. You are concerned about someone else seeing something like that and making assumptions. You are concerned about the family.
Only do this if you think you are mature enough. She may tell you to mind your own business. She may deny everything. But you have to be ready for whatever, if you want to get it off your mind and confront her.
Good Luck.
P.S. Remember that no one is perfect. And if your mom is doing something that you know is wrong, don't repeat it in your life. Don't think that everyone cheats, because they don't.
2006-12-06 14:14:59 · answer #8 · answered by Perfect 78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't talk to them then there's really nothing you can do. But I suggest that you talk to your mom. Ask her who the guy was that was backing out of your garage and let her take it from there.
Maybe write her a simple note and tell her that you are concerned about the guy you saw backing out of the driveway.
2006-12-06 14:07:18 · answer #9 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to your mom about it because it will eat at you but it is not for you to talk to your dad about. Thing like this is never easy. BUt if you know what is going on in your mom head maybe then you can understand more, but know that this is no your thing it is there's
2006-12-06 14:08:09 · answer #10 · answered by lostsoul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋