I've been in a long distance relationship for a good few months. When I go down to see my boyfriend, I stay at his place, don't have to put my hand in my purse once. But when he comes up to see me, he does have to pay around £50 a night in a hotel and has to pay for his food etc... this is because I live wit my parents, and we're not serious enough for him to chill out at my place wit my parents. However, he's sayin he won't come up unless he can sleep at my place,he was gonna come up just before xmas when my parents are away, but is reconsidering it. I told him that he'll have to stay in a hotel, cuz my sister will tell my parents that he stayed when they get back -bear in mind that this guy's salary is pretty high, do you think he's being unreasonable or does he have a point?.
2006-12-06 05:06:55 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you cannot have him crash at your parents place then why would he want to be with you. It's not like he has to sleep in your room. He can sleep in a guest room or on the living room couch. I think this is less about $$ and more about feeling like he is wanted around your family.
2006-12-06 05:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think he has a point, but so do you. You should be commended for respecting your parents wishes and home over a boyfriend who is somewhat pressuring you. But I can see where he is coming from, maybe you can offer to pay half of his hotel when he comes up? That to me seems like the easiest solution. There isn't an option of him staying with you, maybe you can go stay with him at the hotel? It would keep him company and make him feel like you at least are supportive and understanding of where he is coming from. From his point of view, he welcomes you into his home everytime, but when he comes to see you, he is treated like a guest, even a family member would probably get a guest room, and he has to be lonely in a hotel. So it is probably more than just the money that has him upset. Maybe you could tell your parents that you're staying with a girlfriend the night he comes so they wouldn't know you're off in a hotel somewhere. Or if your parents are pretty cool, just tell them, that out of respect for their home, you guys will be renting a room, I think some parents might actually appreciate that level of honesty and maturity. :-)
2006-12-06 13:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Princess~C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is being unreasonable because its one thing if you have your own place and won't let him stay but you live with your parents so its not really what he wants its what they say.. If they don't want him sleeping at there home overnight he has to respect that and if he can't then he needs to put you in your own place so he can sleep over when he comes out
2006-12-06 13:11:33 · answer #3 · answered by 女性ウルバリン 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he's being unreasonable at all. If you want him to come so bad, maybe you should offer to pay for his room and board. He puts up money to take care of you when you go see him. I realize he has his own place, but he does have to pay rent. And since you never "have to put your hand in your purse once" I assume he pays for your food and whatever else you need while you're there.
2006-12-06 13:13:29 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being unrealistic, but at the same time he could be trying to make the point that if he thinks you two are serious enough for you to stay at his place then he should be able to stay at yours as well. Maybe you two could come to a compromise and you stay at the hotel with him?
2006-12-06 13:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by sweetc_82 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has a point in regards to budget ting, maybe he wants to cut back on spending just a bit.Are all the hotels that expensive?....Girl do not let him take you to a cheap degraded place though. Just get him to relax and explain to him that your parents have not approved for him to stay there yet, do what you do best to keep him calm and help him to understand.
2006-12-06 13:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His point is that he is forking out money everytime he comes to see you. You can atleast ask your parents can he sleep in a different room or something. You don't pay nothing when you see him. Honey I think you all should come to a compromise. No I don't think he is being unreasonable. It doesn't matter how much he makes.
2006-12-06 13:13:12 · answer #7 · answered by HotMommi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents, explain to them about your situation. Remember its their house. If they say OK, then have him come. But if his not willing to come just because he's not staying over, then don't let him. Don't risk a huge argument with your parents. He's right in a way, you guys should be comfortable enough so that he knows your parents, therefore he should be able to stay, but since he doesn't he can't.
2006-12-06 13:22:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a point. Ages aren't mentioned (for assumptions).
If he's footing the bill for you when you visit, and it seems he does so happily, then, there has to be a point where the line is drawn and he stays with you when he visits.
It seems that your sister would be fairly immature to run to tell your parents about this, I can take his perspective on this.
2006-12-06 13:12:17 · answer #9 · answered by bilko_ca 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he´s got a point , but on the other hand so do you .
tell him to pay your sister £20 to shut up then he saves some money and can stay at your place.
2006-12-06 13:15:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋