don't hold back!
2006-12-06 04:30:52 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
This guy goes into a bar after a promotion to celebrate with his buddies. Aftr a few drinks he notices, behind the bar, a big jar stuffed with $50 bills, so he asks the bartender about it.
The bartender replies, "Oh that's just a running bet we have here. You gotta pay $50 into the pot and if you complete 3 tasks, you win the whole jar. As you can see, no one has ever won."
After a few more beers and 2 shots of Tequila, the man announces in a slightly tipsy voice, "Screw it, I just got a raise. I can afford to lose $50!" and he slams a $50 on the bar. "OK. What do I gotta do?"
"Well," says the bartender "like I said, there are 3 tasks. First you gotta finish a whole bottle of our homemade 200 proof Fire Water, after that you gotta help my pit bull tied up out back. He's got a sore tooth and you have to go pull it out for him. If you survive THAT, you have to go upstairs and pursuade the landlady upstairs to have sex with you. She's a virgin and she's 106 years old. Raping her is obviously out of the question."
"Fair enough" said the half-drunk man. The alcohol coursing through his veins had emboldened him. "Gimme that Fire Water!" And lo and behold, he managed, to everyone's shock to finish the whole bottle without pause.
Barely able to keep the contents of his stomach down, he was turned and nudged, by the astonished bartender in the direction of the back door, where the dog was tied up outside. The man stumbled drunkenly through the door and bravely slammed it closed behind him. A fierce barking, accompanied by breaking glass, garbage cans smashing, yelling and groaning erupted outside. After a minute or so of this racket, a loud dog yelp, followed by it's whining was heard.
Shortly afterwards, the man stumbled back through the door, his clothes torn, blood dripping from multiple bite wounds and looking like he'd been hit by a truck.
Then demanded in a drunken slurred voice, "OK. NOW WHERE'S THAT OLD LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!!"
2006-12-06 06:49:58 · answer #1 · answered by Mary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I heard of one. I forgot who told it to me but it went like this:
How do you keep blacks from going into your yard?
Hang one in the front.
I believe that was one of the most offensive I've heard.
A funny one would be this one:
A couple was going over their monthly finances and realized that they didn't have much money left. The Husband says they need to cut down on things. The wife agrees.
The wife then says "Honey, you need to cut back on beer."
The Husband replied "Why do I have to cut back on beer but you can still buy all that make up."
The Wife then says "Because the make up is for me to look pretty for you."
The Husband replies to her "Well, what do you think the beer is for?"
I thought that was hilarious.
2006-12-06 04:35:40 · answer #2 · answered by Enterrador 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have several that might qualify....
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing - you already told her twice.
A man and a woman are in an elevator. The man says to the woman, "Can I eat your snapper?" The woman gets a disgusted look on her face and shouts, "No!" So the man looks her her up and down and comes back with, "Oh, it must be your feet."
I'm not racist. I have a color tv.
I don't hate black people. I think everybody should own at least one.
I'm not a racist. In fact, I have black in my family tree.....hanging that is.
What do you call 5,000 blacks jumping out of an airplane?
Night
2006-12-06 04:45:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The Aristocrats!
2006-12-06 04:32:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a boat is sinking and there are 3 persons are on the boat. One is french, one is american, and the different is mexican. The french guy throws a p.c.. of cigars into the water and says "I even have too lots of those in my united states of america." The mexican throws a sumbrero into the water and says " I even have too lots of those in my united states of america" and the yankee guy throws the mexican guy into the water and says" I even have too lots of those in my united states of america."
2016-10-04 23:11:43 · answer #5 · answered by lininger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How Do You Get a RETARDED Person to Commit Sucide ??
Give Them a Knife and Then Ask them Who Is SPECIAL
2006-12-06 04:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by rhijoa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats the opposite of christopher reeve?
christoper walken
2006-12-06 04:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by moefan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok here goes...
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one that had a dream got assassinated...
2006-12-06 04:54:35 · answer #8 · answered by soonerbelle71 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
none
2006-12-06 04:33:50 · answer #9 · answered by Kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋