My 8 mnth olds father's family and I (mom and sister) were getting along just fine. I had just met them when I was about 5 mnths pregnant with the baby. And they recieved me very well. I talked with the mom at least once a week, the sister almost every other day, if not everyday. Even his other children's mom and I had a very positive rapport with one another. So we all got along really well.
Well about 4 months ago, he and I got into an argument and he decided to go his mom and sister and other baby's mom and tell them that I spoke negatively about them, which is absolutely not true. They took his word for it and as of now no one in his family speaks to me, at all, not even to ask about the baby.
At this point, 4 months later, he and I still speak but his family only sees the baby when he has him.
Well yesterday, in anger, he admitted to me that he purposely destroyed my relationship with his family becuz he felt that we were getting too close.
2006-12-06 04:13:18 · 4 answers · asked by Perfect 78 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He and I broke up when I was 8 mnths pregnant, becuz he cheated. His family didn't find out about this until the baby was born and almost a month old.
They were not happy with it. His sister called him and barked on him about it. His mother as well as his other children's mother stayed on his back about making sure he was giving me money for the baby.
He claims that he didn't appreciate that his family was taking my side over his. So becuz they didn't know me that well, he said what he thought they would believe so that they would stop speaking to me.
At this point, I don't have any intentions on sharing this information with his family and I know that he won't tell them.
But I don't know how to deal with him now. I feel like he cheated me out of OUR relationship by cheating on me, now to know that he robbed me of the relationship that I had with his family, makes me numb towards him.
We still have a son together.
Please give me ideas how to deal with this!!!!!
2006-12-06 04:18:41 · update #1
The priority is the child.. You made a bad decision in choosing him, as he has turned out to be a cheater, liar and has no conscience... Be glad he is out of your life and not ruining it anymore.
You can't do anything about how his family feels . Blood is blood and unfortunately somewhere along the line he decided he didn't want you to be part of his family... He has probably lived in lies all his life and has convinced his family of alot of other things that are not true... They will find out eventually, but you can't waste your time or power trying to make them believe you.
You must take control of your situation and be a great Mom in spite of his irresponsible behaviour....
The grandmother will come around... just set a good example, be kind, don't talk ill of him , no matter what.
He will ruin his own image.... they probably already know that he has issues... family is not blind to these things...
They already know he cheated and left you with a child... there is probably alot of other stuff..
They will see through him sooner than later.
You must be patient and get on with your life and leave your concern for him at the curb.....
2006-12-06 04:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could go them them and ask to talk to them about the problem explain that you don't know what the problem is but that you would like to be friends if for nothing else the sake of the child I take it you are not with the father anyl onger but putting the blame on him will only alianate the family further so ask to move on from this point forward Maybe it will work maybe it won't but at least you will have tried that is all you can do
2006-12-06 12:21:25 · answer #2 · answered by pokey's gumby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your guy turned out to be not a very nice person. He has control issues, besides the obvious ones other people have stated. I wonder if you could tell Grandma or aunt in a factual non-emotional way that he caused dissent on purpose and you hope they can again be friends with you because you miss them. They may not believe you, but then you tried. You sound like a nice woman, I would trade one of my daughters in law for you.......the other one I have I love!
2006-12-06 13:10:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand that you have a child together but that does not give him or his family the right to miss treat you . anyways it doesn't sound to me like that is the kind of people you want around you or your son they have been easily manipulated into thinking wrongly about you. let them think what ever they want sooner or later the truth will come out and you will find another man who gives you the place you deserve around his family and everyone else. the day that this idiot has to knock on your door and has to ask another man permission to come in to see his son he will realize the wrong things that he has done. the hell with his family OK. better for you that don't have to deal with their **** anymore.
2006-12-06 13:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by hormigabrava 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋