how do I deal with my boyfriend who gambles? I love him very much but he wont stop he loses to much money and?

Question

cant even pay his bills? Do you have any ideas on how I can get him to a meeting rehab to get him help without his consent, because its getting to that point where , he need help???

Answer 1

Gambling is an addiction and until that person realizes that they have a problem, they won't get help. He is going to have to go thru alot before it makes him see the problem. I hate to tell you this, but that is usually what it takes. Things will probably get very ugly, losing money, home, loved ones (like you) and even worse until he admits it. All you can do is be supportive and tell him that you do not chose to live that way. I really hope the best for you.

Answer 2

There is nothing you can do, unfortunately...It will get worse. He will not change for anybody until he decides to change on his own. This is an addiction and it will be hard for him. I would suggest telling him that you will leave him because you cannot be with someone who is putting gambling as a priority over other things. BUT, i would also tell him that you care for him a lot and when and if he is willing to change or stop, that you will be there to support him. But honestly, you need to think of yourself, you cannot babysit him in his own habitual fixations. This is more than a gambling problem; this may be an emotional issue of which he turns to gambling to help him cope. You have to ask yourself, "am i willing to be with somebody who can an addictive personality?". This may be hard later on in the relationship and as you become more invested. If the gambling gets worse, it will put a strain on you and you have to see yourself as more deserving of a man in your life that is stress free...good luck

Answer 3

There is absolutely no way to force any type of addict into treatment. He would have to be motivated to change in order for any therapy to be helpful.
You could try Gamblers' Anonymous Gam-Anon, which is for people close to the addict. You will find support for yourself there, and perhaps learn of some strategies to help him find the motivation he needs.
Meanwhile, DO NOT lend him any money or pay any of his bills. Evaluate whether this is how you want to live your life, because he may never change. You may want to end this chapter in your life, and find another boyfriend.
Whatever you decide, good luck.

Answer 4

If you keep this up, you'll both be in the poor house. Sometimes, it's a matter of recognizing the 'vices' that we can't tolerate. I say cut your losses and get away from the guy. You'll become what is referred to as 'co-dependent' if you continue your efforts to rescue him. Once he lands hard on the ground and there is no one else to pick him back up, he may learn to conquer his own gambling problem. Otherwise, if you plan a life with the guy you'll get to suffer the consequences of his poor judgment. Consider how badly you want to do this before proceeding. Good Luck

Answer 5

If he loses that much theres not a lot you can do but heres an idea.

Get him to set up an internet account, and only put a certain amount in each month.

That way he has set a maximum he can lose.

Every time he doubles up get him to withdraw the profit, and if he has money left at the end of the month only top it up to the limit.

That's what I started doing.

It made me control the bets I made, and I am now in profit for the 1st time in years (as I no longer keep increasing bets while winning, then blow the lot on one daft bet).

Answer 6

sweetheart, i feel for u. when i met my fiance, he used to gamble every night and i mean every night. i was never in my life exposed to gambling until him. one night he took me casino hopping and i saw him lose 32000.00 in about 4 hrs. i spoke to him and he changed for a few months. then at the end of april i found out i was pregnant and he gambled away may and june salary. he said he was 'stressed'. we were living together at the time and in 1 wk i arranged to move out. he begged me to stay and i refused bacause it would have been impossible for me to handle all bills in addition to baby.

now my baby is 3 mths old (sunday gone) and my fiance proposed 25.11.2006. he has given me his credit card and debit card because he realises he has a problem that he cannot control. it is slow going and frustrating sometimes when he slips. but it has never been as bad as it used to be and we are working it through.

u may not want to lose him but gambling is a disease that can cost u house, land and the food on ur table. do not take that chance. i would have prefered living without him rather than without knowing how to pay for the next pack of milk for my child!!!

Answer 7

All you can really do is to encourage him to get help. The sad fact is that he will have to hit the wall before he see's that he has a problem. I can only tell you from my life-long struggle with booze that it really takes a crisis before a person can see that there is a problem. If you really love and care for him, be there when he crashes and help to pick him up. Good luck

Answer 8

If it's that bad you might consider an intervention. Lay it on the line and leave it up to him whether he's ready to loose everyone who cares about him. It's worth a shot if you love him, I'm sure it's killing you. Good Luck!

Answer 9

You're not married to him. You can leave. Bring up the issue at hand and tell him very blatently how you feel about it... including that you think he needs help.

From there, see how he takes your advice and if there isn't any change; consider your options.

Answer 10

He won't change unless he wants to change. Getting him to a rehab meeting against his will won't do anything. Time to move on. why are you gambling your life away on him?