Generous lawyer
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
2006-12-06 03:55:07 · 4 answers · asked by bbwandsingle1980 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A Cardinal of the Church dies and goes to Heaven. An angel is giving him the the grand tour and a soul goes by draped in gold trimmed pure white robe with cheribim throwing rose pedals in his path as he ascends the gold inlayed white marble steps to his massive white marble mansion. The Cardinal asks the angel who that is and the angel says, "Oh, he's a lawyer.". The Cardinal thinks, "Wow, if that is what a lawyer gets, I can imagine what I, a Cardinal of the Church, will get". They continue on the tour and enter a huge building with a 200 foot high arched enterance way and the hall equally as impressive stretches forever. After walking for miles down the hall they take a left into another hall with 100 ft. high ceilings and walk again, coming to another turn into a hall with 50 ft. ceilings. this goes on an on with each turn the hall becomes smaller and narrower until finally they are going down a hall so narrow they have to walk single file and duck into doorways to let others pass. They come to a rough hewn wooden door, the angel opens it and inside there is a small straw cot, a basin and pitcher and a small window that looks out over nothing special. The angel says, "This is where you will reside for eternity in Heaven.". The Cardinal is totally taken aback by this and blusters out, "I'm a Cardinal of the Church and THIS is all I get, why did the lawyer get so much?" The angel says, " Cardinals are a dime a dozen, he's the only lawyer we got.".
2006-12-06 09:18:00 · answer #1 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good one, but is it really a joke? Many charities seem to collect much more than they distribute. I belive that immediately after Deer season, Lawyer season should begin!
2006-12-06 12:02:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jimbo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that is a true Lawyer lol very funny
2006-12-06 11:57:58 · answer #3 · answered by eeyoree rocks2003 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL.... funny
2006-12-06 12:18:44 · answer #4 · answered by Kim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋