I had a miscarriage....he didnt help me through it because he said he wasnt strong enough, and now 4 months on he is leaving me? I think its because of the miscarriage..I dont understand. Please advise!
2006-12-06 03:54:42 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am very sorry for you. I think he was being honest when he said he wasn't strong enough, perhaps you reminded him of the loss every time he saw you. He does need to grow up though, he obviously isn't ready for the type of commitment and responsibility that come with having a family. I hope he gets some counseling, and I hope you find someone who is truly willing to be there for you.
2006-12-06 04:02:16 · answer #1 · answered by mikesco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss
when I suffered the loss of my first child thru miscarriage I was heartbroken.
Then someone told me that it was Gods way of protecting me..There are many reasons people do the things they do. Being not Strong enough is a copout and it was his way of trying to let you down gently. He didn't wasn't the responsibility of a relationship. He was immature.You are better off knowing that he is not the man for you. He's ready to walk out on you when the times get rough. He's selfish and self-centered.you deserve so much better.Be strong, you don't need someone that thinks so little of your pain that you have in your life.
God has a way of making things right.There could have been some thing wrong with the baby.It was His way of sparing you the pain and heartache of a lifetime. It could be that He spared your life durning childbirth.
Don't worry the right guy will come along in time. Be patient , let go and let God.
2006-12-06 12:24:38 · answer #2 · answered by Angelbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your trials. Stand strong yet realize that if he is leaving he is more likely not ready for any commitment especially the one needed to be a father. It doesn't really matter if he is leaving because a miscarriage occurred or not, he may simply be realizing he is just not ready for any responsibility of this kind. He is not man enough yet to care for you, a child and perhaps himself. It is best that he realizes this now. Can you imagine what your life would have been like had he realized this after you had a child? His distancing would have made you feel more miserable than you feel right now. Believe me! Fatherhood does not come easily to many men some cling to the single life as much as possible. It sounds like this is not about you, the problem is probably within him. Best of luck!
2006-12-06 12:02:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont care what he is going through! its worse for you in this situation than it is for him, simply because you felt all of the changes in your body. If he is that insensitive, he is not the man that you need in your life. find someone that will support you through anything! and isnt so selfish. if he left because he cant handle you having a miscarriage, thats being selfish and isnt a man.
I am so sorry for you loss... people say that time will heal but we know thats not true. It will always be there in your heart. I do know that once you have a child, that pain heals a little. I truley am sorry...
2006-12-06 12:00:05 · answer #4 · answered by kellieghr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I recently had a miscarriage also and its very hard thing to deal with. Men usually take it very hard or my husband did he kept thinking that it was his fault and seeing me cry my eyes out didn't help him any he had it in his mind that the hurt and pain i was feeling was his fault and he couldn't handle it. That could be whats goin on with yall. My advise is to just talk it out we did my husband had a huge break down and everything he was feeling about it came out he said that he loved me so much he couldn't bear to see me in that much pain just explain to him it wasn;t anyones fault, things happen that just can't be controlled just let him have his greive time as well as yours. Hope this helps.
2006-12-06 12:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by CrYsTaL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex left right after he knocked me up. Then he decided to be totally vile after I had the miscarriage. Apparently, I "wasn't being supportive or understanding enough of HIS needs". I didn't want anything to do with him when he originally left, and I cut off all contact with him after I miscarried.
So, speaking from experience, here's my advice to you: YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM! Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-06 12:00:36 · answer #6 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't know but he may feel that he cant stand up to the fact that he lost a child or doesn't want to risk having to pay for a child if you do have one someday. the best thing to do is try to get through it and if you cant work it out with him then try not to let it upset you to much. there are women who are with guys that are in a lot worse situation than you are. try to last as long as you can things will always work out in the end
2006-12-06 12:02:07 · answer #7 · answered by 23486579 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't be supportive to you during this trying time, what kind of a future will yo have with this guy
The best thing he can do is leave.
You need a caring person in your life, not a selfish cold hearted snake.
2006-12-06 12:21:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're married, that is messed up.
If you aren't, that still is messed up, but find someone who cares about you!
I'm sorry about the miscarriage. I know from experience, it's one of the worst feelings.
2006-12-06 11:57:16 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Rabeka♦ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he needs time to adjust,he might think it was his fault.men deal with emotions differently then women.men won't say anything,they have to deal with some things by them self.time alone is very important to a man.he just needs time.
give him some space he'll come around.
keep your head up,,and it's not anyone's fault ,things happen for a reason. In time things will heal..so sorry
2006-12-06 12:03:08 · answer #10 · answered by hl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋