I don't really know how to put this, but here goes...?

Question

Since my mum left ive lost all discipline and its just me and my dad. He thinks everything is ok but i left school with crap gcse's and i went from top of the class to nothing. Now im unmotivated and allthough im at college i hardly ever go and im about to be kicked off. I would have been so scared to do this when my mum was around when i was younger. I need some self control. Any ideas how i could go back to the disciplined days?

Answer 1

Well, first, stop beating yourself up about falling off the wagon.
Most people, when they have a traumatic event happen in their life, have difficulties keeping things together.
The good thing is that you realize that goofing off has not made you feel happier and you are ready to change.
Good on you!! Now, find something that interests you and get into it. Put your emphasis back on going to class and studying if that is what you want to do. You sound like a very sharp and smart person and I know you can do anything you set your mind to. I'll pray that you find your way! blessings!

Answer 2

Here are a few ideas:

Surround yourself with positive and hard working people--maybe join a club or something you are interested in on campus.

Or alternativlely--volunteer. You'll realize how good you really have it and where you could end up if things don't go better.

Tell your dad what is going on, maybe if he knew what was going on he'd be able to help.

Or find a relative that reminds you of your Mom in terms of disciple. Possibly they can listen to you and give you the advice she can't.

If you aren't motivated in college, maybe you are just in the wrong program--cut back on a class or two and try some different classes. Do something that interests you--if you continue on the path you are on now you might get burned out and quit altogether. But if you stop, you might never go back.

Take some time to think and make some goals for yourself. There has been a lot of reseach done on this recently. The people who are most likely to fail in life are those without goals. The ones most likely to succeed can tell you where they want to be in 5, 10, and 15 years--not that they stick to this plan exactly, its just a guidline to keep you motivated.

Hope some of this helps! Good luck!

Answer 3

you're automatically blaming this on your mom leaving. discipline is something that you have in yourself. your mom might have been there to help guide you, but in the end, it's what you took out of the lesson and what you have in yourself. maybe school isn't the thing for you right now. what are your plans... what do you want to do with yourself? if you really need a quick boost of discipline, join the Army. they'll give you the opportunity to find out about yourself while refreshing your mind what discipline means. life isn't about doing what everyone else does such as college and a "real" job. ask yourself if you've been doing things because it's something that makes you happy or is it something to make someone else happy. think outside the bubble and you'll find yourself going toward your own goals. when you find what you really want in life, you will automatically have the discipline to achieve it.

Answer 4

Since you are writing this you are already acknowledging that there is a problem.
I am sorry that your mom left you. Have you been able to talk to someone about the decisions she made to leave you? Have you talked to your Mom? You may have a medical condition of depression that could be treated by a physician.
Maybe write down all of the unresolved feelings you have about your mom and dad in a letter that you will never send. Say all of the hurtful things you dare not say in the letter and then burn it.
As you are in college now, this would be a time of transition for you anyway. Your mom's absence doesn't help. However, this is the opportunity for you to recognize that you are a young adult fully responsible for your decisions good and bad. Your mom was responsible for the choices that she made. You are responsible for how you let her choices effect you.

Answer 5

You are old enough to find the focus you need inside of you. I am a Mom, and that is what I would tell my kids. You seem like you have a good brain, you may have some grief right now. This will pass. Go back to school and learn all you can, even if you have to force yourself. And talk to your Dad. He needs you as much as you need him.

Take care-
Cat
☼ ♥ ♫ ♀

Answer 6

Seek counsel from a mentor at school. You must choose someone who will not coddle you but will hold you responsible and accountable for achieving your goals. Explain to that person how you have explained your situation to us. You show a great deal of maturity just for trying to put a lid on your slacking.

Answer 7

I've been there and done that. At some point (like college!) we have to stop relying on our parents and we have to kick our own selves in the butt and be responsible. So fess up to your dad, buckle down, and get your life back on track! There! I just kicked you in the butt too!!!!! :)

Answer 8

act as if your mum was around. she wouldn't want you to waste all that college money and your not going. it's more of a common sense thing. but if you fell you need to change then you should no one can change you but you.