How can I ever celebrate xmas again?

Question

Last xmas morning my Mom passed away at home. When she didn't answer her phone xmas morning I drove over to her place. I knew something was wrong so I asked her neighbor to please come into the apartment with me to check on my mother. According to the paramedics she had passed away sometime between 3 & 5 AM.
How can I ever celebrate Xmas again. All I can think of now when I think of xmas is losing my Mother.
The closer it gets the more I'm dreading Xmas day.

Answer 1

Pray to ___, Talk about it with friends if you need help there are people out there. My Grandmother died Dec. 20, 2004 and we buried her Christmas Eve. I and the whole family was close trust me I know how you feel. It doesn't feel the same.

Set up Christmas Day as a Remembrance Day for your mothers life.

Answer 2

A long time ago my cousin was in a car accident a few days before Christmas and was in a coma over Christmas day. The family found the first year very hard and they said it was because they did the same thing as every other year so her presence was really missed. So maybe do something different but make sure you are with people who understand how you feel and don't mind if you want to sit quietly because you don't feel so festive. If you would rather be alone think about travelling somewhere that doesn't celebrate Christmas and it will pass like any other day and you can spend it as you prefer.

Answer 3

I'm sorry for the pain you must be enduring. My husband passed away 5 months ago and i'm also dreading the whole festive time of year ( which started way to early ).
Altho it most certainly doesnot take away the sorrow, I have found some comfort with bereavement sites that I found on the net. Just knowing there are others out there that are facing the same ordeals as yourself takes away some of the lonliness and isolation that grief forces upon you.
It does help. Thinking of you x

Answer 4

You will never not associate Christmas with your Mother. Right now you need time to grieve, they may take two years or 10, but it really will, get a little easier each year. When your ready and not before, start celebrating your mothers life on that day. We are all born to die, we cannot choose when or where. Perhaps you could do what my hubby does, his mother was diagnosed with cancer on 23rd Dec and died 25th March two years ago, its only his second xmas without his mother, he has a little shrine to her: A few pictures of your mum, plus some nice candles, he keeps them going all day, it makes it a little easier for him. Hope this helps a bit.

Answer 5

Sweety, you can't stop your tears from falling and your heart from aching, but you can't put your mom in a box on that day and put away all your beautiful souvenirs and memories about the many x-mases you did spent with your mother. Every xmas will bring a small smile until you have the strength to remember something from all your x-mases and put them together to make a big smile. You can't escape your sadness, so face it, by bringing your mom back in memory on that day. Think of sweet details, like what would she have liked as a gift? What would she have had for a drink on that night? Let your eyes shine just at the thought that she's watching over you from up above. See, she died on the same day that Christ was born, so that she could join him in the New Life. She's with him and she would love you to celebrate his birth with your family.
Be strong dear.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Sorry to hear about your mom. Although its not the same situation, my uncle lost his best friend to cancer on New Year's Eve. It was hard for the family to see him so upset. We normally celebrated together every year, but for several years he wouldn't.

I guess, I would suggest spending time with the rest of your family--you found out in a terrible way how quickly a life can end. Christmas should be a time for family and for helping others. It was never meant to be about gifts and stress. Hopefully you will be able to see it as a wonderful time to gather with loved ones while you're all still here.

I agree with the first answerer as well, helping someone else always makes me feel better.

Still, I know it will be hard and will take some time to get over--I hope this Christmas finds you surrounded with loved ones.

God bless.

Answer 8

I'm really sorry for your loss.

Though not as bad as your loss, I lost my grandma on Christmas Eve 20 years ago now. I was only 11 but I can still cry now about it.

That said I can celebrate Christmas again, I think of her and of what happened and wish she was here but I've accepted it now.

Of course it has fundamentally changed the way I think about Christmas I would say there is definitely hope for you. Obviously my mum lost her mum that night and it took quite some time for her to feel like celebrating Christmas but she does now.

Raise a glass to her on the day. Buy something pretty that you think she'd like and decorate the house with it as her present. Do something for her even though she can't be there just so she still feels a bit part of it.

Take care

Answer 9

Hmmm really sorry to hear this & unfortuately its going to come around every year too and each year will get a little easier. I would imagine that Xmas day will become important to you you in its own special way, but I wouldnt try and let it spoil what really is a time for children, the future generations. raise a glass for here when you rise on the 25th.

Answer 10

I know how you feel Hun. My dad died at Christmas and so when i think of Christmas i think of him...

But what i do do is get a Christmas card and write everything i want to tell him on the card every year... OK so that might sound sad to other people but it works for me.

And as time goes on it does get better, easier, but will never go...

Just try and spend Christmas with family and toast your mum with them...

Remember the funny Christmas's you had with her before and rejoice the fact that you had such a terrific mum in the first place.

She may be gone but she'll never be forgotten.