How long should one wait after they're married to have kids?

Question

My friend is 22, husband 25 they were just married 4 months ago and both want kids so bad. They've been together for 6 years. They would definitely make great parents. They arent financially strained or anything, but she has 3 semesters of school left. Is it too soon for them to start a family?

Answer 1

They should have kids when they are ready and both feel it. Sometimes, the time is never right. Sometimes, it comes fast, and sometimes it comes after years.

When the time is right, they will both know it. There is no better time than that.

Answer 2

I think it's a decision they have to make themselves. My personal opinion that I developed from my own experience and that I shared with my sister that just got married, is give yourself at least 6 months if not a year to get adjusted to being married.

Even if you've been together for a time before being married, for some reason it's just stressful in the beginning of the marriage. I dated my husband for 5 years before we were married and the first 6 months were an adjustment period for us. We're fine, but pregnancy and a new baby bring on a whole new set of things. We had a few "stressful" moments after our son was born, but we remembered the adjustment to getting married and knew things would be fine (which they are).

But if they feel they are ready to begin a family sooner, it's really their decision. Just wish them luck and pray that everything works out for them. If school's the issue, just remember pregnancy is 9 months long, and it might even take a while to get pregnant. If she does, she may be done (or almost done) before the baby comes.

Answer 3

That is a question that the couple must answer for themselves. My wife and I were 21 and 22 respectively when we got married and we fully intended to be parents to a full family. We did nothing to stop the reproductive process but it took over four years before my wife was able to conceive. We now have six grown children. Thus, from my experience, I would say that your friends are more than ready to beging their family. It is definitely not too soon to start. By the time her first child is born, she will be six months past the end of her schooling so not to worry.
Give them my best wishes.

Answer 4

Well, let me tell you, I was pregnant with my first right away, and the strain between us having a child nine months after marriage almost ruined the marriage, weird as that sounds. From experience I would suggest they wait at least a year and get comfortable with each other completely giving the marriage a time to strengthen before adding to the family. Because the strain of adjustment is hard on a marriage.

Answer 5

I don´t think the married part actually matters. If both parents are mature enough, have tolerance and a bit of wisdom then they should go for it.

Personally I think 25 is a good age to start. That way you have done many things together, gained experience maybe built up some finances etc.

I believe children choose thier parents before they are born, so they can learn from a certain aspect of something.

Answer 6

She REALLY should finish school. Having a baby while in school is tough. Most people just end up dropping out.

Kids are great. They are fun. They make family whole to some people. However, your life is never the same after you have one.

I always suggest to couples to wait at least 1-2 years before trying to have kids. Why? Marriage is tough, and it would be stronger and smarter in a relationship to strengthen the bond between husband and wife before throwing kids in there. Let them find out who they are now in the married life.

Answer 7

They could begin a family now. If she only has 3 semesters left then the baby wouldnt even be that much of a strain on her by the time she graduated. She could wait until after the baby is born to seach for a job. Its the perfect time.

Answer 8

If they know they can handle it then yes everyone is different. She may be able to do the last 3 semesters with ease with children. If she has her husband on her side he can help take care of the kids while she finishes school.

Me I would personally wait until I finished school. I went to school while my children were young and studying wasn't the easiest. I did finish it took longer because I needed to take time off for the birth and then had to wait for the classes to become available again. They were only offered in the second semester.

Answer 9

I think it has to be something only the couple can decide. I don't think that's too soon to start having kids. If she doesn't mind being pregnant or having a baby during school, or delaying school a bit it's fine.


My husband and I were married 3 years before we decided to start trying. Then it took us 1 1/2 years to conceive.

Answer 10

well i guess i didnt do it the right way i mean i was 6 months preg when i got married and didnt go to college like i planned. So i think she should finish her three semesters of college or she may not go back after she has the baby. It just depends if she has alot of family help. She will need lots of babysitters while she finishes school. There is always plenty of time to have a baby. she may regret having one too soon.

Answer 11

I would personally wait until my education was completed if I was almost done. Then I would probably want to become seasoned into a position I loved so that maternity leave wouldn't be an issue. However, if they are married have been together the length of time that they have and are financially stable then hey why not?