Help need jokes ;]?

Question

Hello peeps can you guys tell me all the "little johnny" jokes you know i love them or any really funny one will be much appriciated thx ;]

Answer 1

There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.

"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom.''

Answer 2

Good night, Spot! It is night, now in Brazil. I do not know that hours are in the Unided States, now.Forgive me if to have error of grammar in the joke. Is that the official language of my country is the portuguese.



A spanish ship, with gold shipment, coming back to Spain when was sigthed by a pirate ship. The sailors go on the battle.
-Bring me the red shirt. -cried out, the captain. A sailor brought the order, and the captain was dressing the shirt, quickly.
Bravely, the sailors had won the battle.
One month later, the ship coming back to Spain, with gold shipment, was again aimed at for a pirate ship, and under the captain's command, had won the battle, and the ship arrived safe in the Spain.
One day,in a tavern, two sailors had beem a question to a sailor.
-Why all time that we go to face the pirates, you takes that red shirt to the captain?It is some superstition?
-Well, i say if yours promise to keep secret.
The sailors had sworn secret.
-Well, the captain uses the red shirt for case if is wounded in combat, the sailors does not lose the courage, therefore the red on the shirt hides the red on the blood.
The sailors had been admired with the captain`s philosophy.
One month later, the spanis ship coming back angain, with gold shipment.
-Pirate ship! Pirate ship!-cried out, the sailors.
-Bring me the red shirt! -cried out, the captain.The captain was dressing the shirt, quickly.
Later, another shout heard.
-Four pirate ships! Four pirate ships!
-Bring me the brown pants! Bring me the brown pants!

Answer 3

haha good well i obtained a intercourse shaggy dog story for you desire you love it :) on listening to that her grandad had simply died kate went and visited her nan to remedy her while she requested how he died her nan replyed through sayin that he had had a middle assault even as makin love two her kate mentioned that it used to be foolish that two historical humans wherein havin intercourse because it used to be askin for challenge her nan replyed through sayin that they used to do it to the sluggish speed of the church bells because it used to be simply the correct velocity she then wiped a tear from her eye and carryed on through sayin''if that dahmed ice cream van hadnt come alongside he could nonetheless be alive in these days'' :) xxx

Answer 4

little johnny went to school....... Just kidding. Sorry i can't help you there i'm here to read jokes and reply not ask for jokes.

Answer 5

How about this?

This little boy go into the grocery store and grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.
The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" He replies, "Nope, not for my mom."
Without thinking, the cashier responded, "Well, they must be for your sister then?"
He replied, "Nope, not for my sister either."
The cashier had now become curious. "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"
The boy says "They're for my four year old little brother."
The cashier is surprised. "Your four year old little brother???"
The boy explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"

Answer 6

WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT DOESNT BELONG TO YOU?



NOT CHO CHEESE