welll here is the deal, i really liked this girl alot ! we werent dating but we had planned on it! she went and lost her virginaty to a guy she did not know! i love her with all my heart but what should i do? now that she is not a virgine when she comes back i am afraid everyone will have sex with her!! i do not want that at all! i told her i loved her and she toled me she loved me too! I told her what i was getting her for christmas and she got excited! I dont know if this is true love or just a gold digger! Help me please!
2006-12-06 03:06:16 · 12 answers · asked by 96' Subaru Impreza L 2.2l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she's just a gold digger, no chick tells you they love you and like you a lot and then just goes around and has sex with someone else. you deserve someone better who will respect the way you feel and will feel the same way back. i'm sorry you found the bad one in the pot
2006-12-06 03:10:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mandie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you possibly be concerned with her being a gold-digger if you are buying her nice things in order to bribe her into liking you? Do you see the irony of this? You are holding some form of gold in her face suggesting that if she goes with you you will buy her affection with expensive gifts and then you lament the fact that she may only be interested in your gold and not you.
Why did you tell her what you're getting her for Christmas? Now she knows and it's no longer a surprise. Women love surprises and mystery. Now the mystery for her Christmas might be what this other guy is getting her. She already KNOWS your game, but his is a mystery, get it?
Now, onto the virginity thing. You should be glad that some other guy 'broke her in'. From what I hear from women, the first time is never a good experience. In addition, now that huge thing of 'the first time' is over and she may not be as hung up on if she should have sex, but now with whom she should have sex. It might have a paradoxical effect and make her more selective.
When you talk about your fear of her having sex with everybody you are advertising your own insecurity and lack of self-esteem. What you are implying is that you can only have her and keep her is she doesn't know of anyone or anything else out there. And if she does meet another guy that she might be plucked from your arms very easily.
Well I've got news for you. You're more likely to lose her if she hasn't been with anyone else than if she has. It's that curiosity that will drive her away.
Case in point, my experience. I met this girl who is 28 years old from Virginia. She is married with one 5-year old girl. She is absolutely adorable with a great body and is a huge flirt! We work together in an office building and never really hung out till one night after work a few mutual acquaintances went out for sushi and drinks. We spoke for the first time and hit it off and eventually got together. I ultimately found out that she has only had sex with one guy, her husband, and they met in high school. Needless to say she was curious and once I satisfied that curiousity she was hooked! Hubby still thinks he has his 'prize' chick, but reality is much different.
See what I mean? This would never have happened if she had been with a few guys in her life and that curiosity and mystery were resolved.
So with this girl, lay back, be cool and DON"T use sex as a weapon and threaten to take away her gift or affection because she gave it up to someone else. TEASE her! Tell her that she knows what she's getting for Christmas but you haven't decided if she is worthy of a gift from you (do this with good attitude not bad attitude) and let her think of a way to charm you.
Do both of us a favor and don't turn into a spineless p*ssy and tell her how much you love her and buy her all kinds of gifts. If you do you will DEFINITELY drive her away.
2006-12-06 03:29:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this girl than her virginity shouldn't matter. First off she told you rather than hiding it from you. And second, what makes you think because she lost her virginity she will turn into a super ho. The only true way to find out if this is love is to experience it. Pay attention to her and learn. Observe how you two interact together. She said she loves you too but love is just a word. She must show you she loves you through her actions. Your feelings for this girl seem to be strong so make sure that you don't allow your feelings to intervene with reality. By this I mean not to allow yourself to blindly walk through a bad relationship because you love her. Calm down and take a deep breath. Enjoy Christmas with her and be thankful to have eachother as many people have no one. Just be realistic with yourself and know and love yourself as you both will greatly benefit. Don't let love tear you apart by worrying, just relax and go with the flow. But don't allow yourself to be walked on either. Good Luck, God Bless & Merry Christmas!
2006-12-06 03:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by zero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes things just happen. So she lost her virginity, it was bound to happen at one point or another. It sounds to me that you are more upset that she lost it with a complete stranger than with you, but sometimes it is better to get it over with and out of the way. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love you, and it also doesn't mean that she is going to turn into a sex hungry whore either. You just need to let things take their course. You weren't dating when she slept with this other guy, and therefore, it is really none of your concern. As long as she is faithful while she is with you then you shouldn't have a care in the world about her past partner(s). There are not many virgins left in the world, and trust me, you don't really want to have sex with a virgin anyway.
2006-12-06 03:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by Natty137 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The desperation isn't necessary. You're instincts are correct. If she told you she loved you, and you told her you loved her, that establishes committment, whether or not the first date had already occurred or not.
She went out and slept with someone she didn't even know. Do you really want a relationship with someone like that? Of course she got excited about her present. She gets to have a cake, and Christmas too.
Walk away from this.
2006-12-06 03:14:46 · answer #5 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't sound like a girl that is ready to settle if she is out having sex with guys she doesn't know. I think that you should think long and hard about it and make sure that this is a mess you want in your life.
Do you really want to be with that type of girl. You can get a refund on that gift before it is too late.
2006-12-06 03:11:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A gold digger because she slept with one person? I don't see how the two have anything to do with one another. You're probably just mad because it was someone else instead of you.
2006-12-06 03:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds like a normal girl who wanted her first experience. you were planning on getting with her, what to get her for Christmas and stuff, but you never got round to make her your girlfriend?! What were you waiting for? She just went and found someone else.
2006-12-06 03:10:23 · answer #8 · answered by trushka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just ask her. but from what you say its not much so i cant tell if she is a gold digger need mroe details but do talk to her about it
2006-12-06 03:11:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not the end of the world . Just take her back and see what happens
2006-12-06 03:10:08 · answer #10 · answered by Maka 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋