How do i handle my brother?

Question

I have three older brothers. Two are great, I love them. But the other one? Yeah, he is REALLY not great. All he does is laugh at me, make fun of me, hit me, shout at me. He's so smart that I can't say anything witty to his mean remarks, because he'll always say something better. I can't sit down with him and tell him he's upsetting me because he'll laugh at me and won't ever drop it. And if I'm winning the argument, he'll just mimick me and then laugh some more. It's so frustrating!

I've tried telling my parents but they sigh and tell me to ignore him. It's so hard. I think I'm actually scared of him. He makes me want to run away. I can't cope with him anymore. It doesn't sound so bad, you may think it's just a simple teasing. But it's much more. I can't stand him and I don't know what to do about it :'(

Answer 1

Since your parents don't understand, why don't you try to get your other two brothers involved. The four of you could sit down and discuss this. Maybe that way your brother would see that you are serious. He should understand your feelings and you feel like running away which is pretty serious.

I think that he just does not know how to treat young girls and resorts to bullying. He should be made aware of his behavior.

Answer 2

Because you wrote "fellow Christian (so we thought)" it appears that you have a question of his/their salvation. If that is considered, then you might also consider that without being in Christ he is incapable of seeing the truth and may not really acknowledge that anything is "up." Not sure what your situation is but I would continue to pray that God continue to draw him and also that the Holy Spirit works is in the entire situation--convicting him/them and strengthening you and your ministry. Strongholds are not easy to pull down... (On patience: WE know that sometimes foreign missionaries and/or those in community outreach in the inner city/poverty ridden areas of the US spend two or three years away from home just building trust to begin evangelizing a people. I think this may be an area where many of us should pray for development. Definitely myself.) Not sure if what you are describing is so much about the brother's lack of evidence or that you may be out of patience or maybe this was not your call to begin with--or maybe even all of the above. Sometimes we step into a situation that God has not anointed us to deal with and we are on our own. It's hard to say from the little you have written. I understand and believe what scripture says but is severe (might cause rejection feelings) and again from what I've read, it may be a combination. (We have what we have before us so...) He doesn't seem to be getting it and you are working and working and not seeing any fruit. Frustrating all the way around. Our small congregation had someone very disruptive, destructive and eventually dangerous coming for a nearly two years. We prayed and prayed and laid on hands and finally it came to a point where the pastor had to actually consider a restraining order. It was an ongoing serious issue that has traveled with this person from one church to another for many years. She has serious abandonment issues due to some childhood events and seems to cling to that spirit of abandonment and fear rather than trusting Jesus--it's a choice. We had all the love and time that God allowed us time to give for her but no time and nothing for those spirits that she clung to. Understand? Before we could actually say no more, we had to examine ourselves individually and as a congregation--had we done enough, too much, had we been obedient or on our own, was it time? Ever wonder if the point where you stopped a thing may have been the beginning point of the breakthrough or victory? Sometimes there has been "enough" and there is no more time. You are right. Still we must always walk in love... And so many think it's so "easy" to be Christians ;-) ____ Blessings. x

Answer 3

I feel for you. They are right, just ignore him, but that is easier said than done. You REALLY need to get your parents to understand how BAD it is. When parents blow off a childs concern it is because they don't see the urgency in a situation. They think it is no big deal and if it's not to them, it shouldn't be to you. But that's not always the case. We don't always take the time to listen to our children's complains...because let's face it, we'd be listening all day and who's got the time. But this is different. You've got to take them aside, be serious and tell them this is a very real problem and if they won't take it seriously then you will go to someone that will. That should get their attention. If it doesn't, go to a school counselor and tell them. You've got to make them understand how you feel about this, and that it's no laughing matter. A little teasing is normal, this boy has gone WAY beyond that. Is he retarted?

Answer 4

Honey, I know that you do not believe me, but I am a mother of 6 kids, 5 of them are teens, (3boys and 3girls), so I have seen it all. Believe it or not, in the future, he will probably be the one you are closest to. But, in the meantime, talk to your parents. See if they can remedy the situation. If not, then, my advice is to steer clear of him as much as possible. Do not argue back with him, that is what he is looking for, and obviously you cannot win, so why even participate. If he is physical, and your parents will not listen, talk to another trusting adult, like a school counselor or a preacher. Do not let him abuse you. If it is verbal abuse, just try to stay away from him.
My brother and I were like you, and we are so close today. I got along with all of my other siblings when I was younger, but not the one 2 yrs younger than me, but like I said, we are the closest now.
Please talk to someone. It is not worth running away. A school counselor hears this everyday, and is used to handling these types of situations. So, trust them, or your principal, or a teacher. Keep talking until someone listens. There will be someone, I promise!

Answer 5

How do your other brothers feel about it? It really seems like he has some problems and he is picking on you because he can get away with it. If you are afraid he will hurt you or something, you need to tell your parents you are afraid of him....Otherwise, I would try really hard to avoid him....don't be alone with him, this way he won't have the opportunity to pick on you.....if he starts to give you a hard time, then leave where he is....keep your mouth shut and don't say a word....play a game with him and make him get tired of TRYING to pick on you....If you stay ahead of him this way, eventually he will give up....

Answer 6

I DON'T THINK IT IS TEASING, but you are doing exactly what he wants. He is seeing how far he can push you, and if you just run away, you are telling him he wins. Don't argue with him, that is just giving him satisfaction. Walk away, act like he doesn't exist for awhile. I have a brother that is kind of the same way, but don't give them a reaction, that is what he wants. Sometimes it is hard to do this. Don't run away, and let him ruin your life, just because he is the jerk. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

You could just ignore him, but if that does not work, you would always not come home one day or a weekend which will probably get you into trouble with your parents, but then you can tell them they were one of the main reasons for it, as they would not listen to you about your brother and then they might do something about it.

Answer 8

Your parents should be handling this, but with so many children, they may not pay as much attention as they should be. I don't think it is funny at all. Talk to your parents alone, not in a tattling manner during one of his episodes. Get them to yourself and tell them exactly how you feel, everything you wrote in this e-mail should be explained to them. And I mean everything!!!!

Unfortunately, parents can shrug this off as boys being boys, but sometimes it is much more than that. Siblings can be hurtful to the point of cruelty. Would he happen to be the oldest, by any chance? Please talk to your parents and let them know that it bothers you all the time, not just when he is in the process of being a jerk.......Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

You should just try to tell him how you feel bcause he may not realize how much he upsets you. If that doesn't work all you can do is just stand your ground and don't let him get the best of you. When he is picking on you just make him think that it doesn't bother you at all anymore and he might get bored with it and stop.

Answer 10

i have a brother, too, and even though he's not as extreme as yours, i can understand how you feel... well, ignoring him is both the easiest and the hardest way to do it... it's easy because all you have to do is to not pay any attention to him... it's hard simply as it is... why don't you try this? if your parents won't be of much help, then ask your two other brothers... maybe they could talk to this one brother of yours.. you know, boys are boys, and maybe only boys can help you with this... and don't run away, a'right?