How can i forgive my daughter?

Question

my daughter met a guy moved 1/2 way across the us to be with him decided to give her 3 boys to there dad i guess this guy didn`t like kids she also had a baby by another guy when she met this guy she moved to be with she called and said her baby boy 11 months old has been abused and was in neonatal intensive care me and my other 2 daughters begged borrowed and went in debt to fly to another state to be with her supposedly this boyfriend had beat my grandson he had a 7"skull fracture his brain was swollen he had damage to his esphoygus and at the time had no sight we stayed a few days with her then we returned home when he was out of the woods the dss took custody of the baby and placed him in a foster home we moved my daughter back to kansas to start classes and requirements to regain custody of her baby she started talking with this guy and moved back right before they sent him to prison she married him he told her it was an accident i can not find a way to get over this what do i do

Answer 1

all you can do is try and talk some sense into your daughter. never give up on your child, as parents we are there to support and love our children.
there is something deeper going on here. question, why she would allow herself to be in this very dysfunctional and dangerous situation???

Answer 2

Forgiveness is a process that takes time, it takes as long as it takes. The most important thing you need to do right now, and I can't stress this enough, is that you do not speak poorly of her to your daughter, no matter what. Even if your daughter (I don't know how old she is) says, "mommy says that you're a douchebag daddy." You must say something that's at least neutral back, "Mommy's feelings are hurting right now. I love you and she loves you and that's all you need to know." or something like that. What you are going through is very painful and I also applaud you for being such a man and father, if the world had only 10% more men like you... but keep doing what you're doing and I promise that the hurt will go away and forgiveness will happen when and only when the time is right.

Answer 3

Always remember that with a man like that in her life the only support she has is you, even though she has made horrible choices a mothers love is unconditional.Have you thought about getting custody of your grandbaby? Hopefully this man goes to prison for a very long time. You could take her to a womans shelter, not to stay but to see what long term abuse does to wemon, and chances are more than one has lost a child to violence maybe seeing something like that first hand and hearing it from an outside source would help her understand. Thank God she let her other children stay with there dad if this monster would hurt his own child like that imagine what he would have done to some one elses. I know it doesnt seem like very many right now but count your blessings and be thankful that the baby lived and your other grandchildren are ok. God bless you and in time all will work itself out. Stay strong and be there for your daughter she needs you know more than ever especially if hes in prison and away from her this may be the only opportunity that you have to save her.

Answer 4

Pray...that is the best advise I can give you. This is a terrible situation. If I were you I'd try to get those children or at least the baby. Growing up in foster care isn't pretty. I know you are doing all you can do. Like I said...prayer is the best answer I can give you.

Answer 5

You need to find out WHY she went back to this guy. I really don't think you should give up on your daughter.....I assume you love her or you wouldn't have done all that you have. Help her to understand what it is she is getting out of this relationship and that once anyone has children, they become the priority in life; the parents 'pleasure' goes on the back burner until those kids have left home.
If this is how she thinks she deserves to be treated, then she really needs professional help, but please, don't let her go. She really needs you to keep loving her, even if you don't understand how she can do what she does. Good luck.

Answer 6

i think you should just stand by her. she's your daugter, and sooner or later she'll realise she's in a situation that she doesn't want to be in and she'll need your help. you probably feel like your efforts were all for nothing and that must be so irritating. i really feel for you. you need to let her sort it out for herself, it'll help her to grow, and she hopefully won't get into another situation like this again. the guy she's with sounds like bad news, and it must be hard to see her with him. you can probably see that it's best if she came home and left him, but she can't see that yet. sooner or later she'll come to her senses, but for now you need to stay strong for her. coming home will seem alot more appealing if she knows she's coming home to people who love and support her.

these things have a way of sorting themselves out, just remember that and try not to lose too much sleep over it. this is your daughters problem, and as much as you want to protect her and make it all better, there's only so much you can do.

Answer 7

Wow!

What a movie this situation would make on Lifetime.

I am sorry to hear your daughter is making such bad choices. If I were in your situation, I'd cut my ties off with my daughter. Or, I'd place her in a mental hospital and I don't mean that as a joke.

Answer 8

do you think maybe this guy is over controlling.chances are it wasnt an accident, and he prolly beats her too she just wont admit it.you need to protect your daughter from this man whatever the risks are, and forgive your daughter...