When I sleep over my friend's house, he's a guy, in the same bed, he's always all over me. I wake up his leg is over my body, he puts his head over my arm, one time, I wrapped my arm around him, and he leaned into my armpit, and cuddled up. It was obvious to me he wanted to get more comfortable. I decided to play with his hair, and he didn't flintch or anything.
This has happened over 8 times of sleeping in the same bed, yet I've never confronted him about it, or vice versa, he just gets very touchy feely, yet we play it off as if we are just sleeping.
Does this mean he is gay?
2006-12-06 02:27:47 · 29 answers · asked by JonathanDAvis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok michael Jackson......stop pretending and change your avitar name
2006-12-06 02:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by True101 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Despite what everyone has said so far, there's actually still a chance that neither you nor your friend is gay...not that there's anything wrong with that. Congratulations!
Studies have shown that, though it is not the most common thing in the world, a significant portion of males will engage in some minimum of homosexual thought or even action during their teenage years. The majority of these will grow up to identify themselves as straight, not gay.
(Personally, I believe that there is a spectrum of sexuality--no one completely gay, no one completely straight...everyone with some % attracted to both genders, even if that percentage is miniscule, but whatever.)
Anyway, it sounds like your friend is going through something like that. Since he hasn't spoken about it and you just "play it off", it suggests that he either comprehends his sexuality and is afraid of the reaction he would get from you or others if they found out, or he doesn't view his actions in a homosexual light at all.
The first possibility just doesn't make sense--if you don't want another guy to think that you might be gay, cuddling with him isn't really the best way to go about it. Chacnes are he doesn't view his actions in a homosexual light at all.
He feels some amount of sexual attraction to you, clearly (an attraction that you seem to reciprocate). Whether the antics of the two of you are expressions of (a) non-abnormal heterosexual teenage sexuality, i.e., "experimentation"; (b) some level of accepted attraction to your gender ("bisexuality", again, which I think everyone has), but a level that does not rise to the point where he would be comfortable acting upon it...he just likes to cuddle; or (c) homosexuality that has just not been comprehended/confronted yet is really anybody's guess.
Point is, you'll never know unless you ask him... So ask him some time.
Look, you're not sleeping, he knows you're not sleeping, and he knows you know he knows you're not sleeping. Trust me.
He probably is scared and is just waiting on you to bring it up, just as you seem to be waiting on him.
And definitely don't approach him with "Are you gay?"--this puts him on the spot and tosses around a label that can carry a lot of stigma to a high school male (well, I assumed high school anyway...if I had to guess, I'd say 11th grade...was I anywhere close?).
You should ask him in an open-ended way, simply bringing up the general topic when he seems pretty comfortable (why not while snuggling?) Be sure to phrase the question in a non-threatening way that lets him know that you're OK with it.
The world runs a lot smoother when people just talk to each other. If you two have a friendship worth anything at all, then there's nothing to be afraid of in talking about it. Whatever happens, you'll both be better for talking to each other.
Good luck!
2006-12-09 13:33:35 · answer #2 · answered by foxwallow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is your true friend should it really matter? Its something your born with. If you like the same sex its not a big deal. No sence in makeing it a big deal. Just be friends with the guy. If he is gay someday he will come out to you and tell you. It doesnt mean he likes you. A gay guy can have guy friends that they are not actracted to. So dont make a big deal out of it and just be friends.
2006-12-06 02:33:49 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know. Have ya'll been friends a long time? Is it somthing new that has just started happening, or could he be likes to suggle. I know that in my sleep I snuggle up with others it doesnt seen to matter what gender it is. And I'm not attracted to other women. I just love to hug and snuggle up. I dont know if your friend means anything. Does he show other signs of being attracted to guys?
2006-12-06 02:37:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like it, maybe Bi
But I'd say go for it and let him play it off like he's sleeping, some gay folks need the OUT
I would see what happens when you spoon and press into his back side, or feel his Sack.
See if he lets it happen, and reciporocates,
Good luck and keep us updated.
2006-12-06 07:30:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure that any guy who lets another guy sleep in his bed to begin with is gay...or at least curious. All the guys I know would NEVER sleep in the same bed as another guy, let alone cuddle and play with each other's hair...
2006-12-06 02:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren728 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you are both gay and that you are afraid to admit your true feeling for him. If you were uncomfortable the first time it happened you wouldn't of let it happen 7 more times. Sounds like it is time for both of you to come out of the closet!
2006-12-06 02:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by manders 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't feel comfortable or question this behavior why do you play into it? It only will increase the actions. If you want to know if your friend is gay then you should just ask him.
2006-12-06 02:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by Annie Oakley 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Gay, straight, does it matter? I think what you describe is oh-so-wonderfully-sweet! I think you and your friend might be falling in love with each other and that is really great.
Only, not meaning to stereotype, it might be easier if you take things slowly, as you may end up drifting apart if you say the wrong words...
Best of luck to you both!!! ^_^
2006-12-06 20:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by sapfarah.geo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is sleeping and you are gay?
Maybe you are both gay?
Or maybe you are both interested in exploring to see if you are gay?
Whatever it is you are both doing and it doesn't mean that your friend is the one that is gay?
Just ask him? or if you are gay and wondering to make the move on him then just make the move and see what happens.
2006-12-06 02:33:36 · answer #10 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself if you are gay? Why else would you keep sleeping in the same bed as him?
2006-12-06 02:33:35 · answer #11 · answered by Derek K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋