Ok, I was married for a year and a half to a wonderful person. He gave me everything I wanted,but I wasn't happy. We didn't even have sex...I didn't find him attractive in that way (a year after we got married).We started falling apart and thats when I met the man I'm with now. My husband and I got divorced. And Now I'm engaged. He makes me happy in everyway. I just have a few thoughts running through my head now that our wedding is 2 months away. See, he has had many problems with my past. He will get in these weird moods and start treating me bad and telling me stuff just to hurt me..Then he tells me he is sorry after I am crying and threatening to leave him...He is trying to be good now. But what should I do? Some of the stuff he has said to me is awful. Like comparing me to his ex, and like this for instance...I was raped at age 17. This makes him sick. He told me one day He layed there staring at me one night in bed just thinking how sick I made him b/c of it.
2006-12-06 02:21:22 · 13 answers · asked by Just here. 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, I hate to say it but I would never marry this guy. Problems from his past are one thing, but what he said about u and the tragic event that happened in your life is not acceptable, and may cause problems in the future. I am not saying that u shouldn't stay with him and try to better things, but u have already been through one unfulfilling marriage, don't put yourself right back into another without serious thought. I would definitely ask him to go to counselling with u as a couple and see if these issues can be resolved and put to rest. You deserve to be treated with respect and love and treasured as a woman, not someone who has to pay for his past and relive yours. Please get help and think from your heart when u take this big step. Good luck
2006-12-06 02:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is giving u all the signs u need to not marry this guy. i know u probably love and care for him but he has already told u he has a problem with your past. if u marry him then u will be trapped in an abusive marriage. this is how it starts. u have to threaten to leave him just to get him to be good? do u really want to marry a man who thinks getting raped is your fault? In one of these weird moods as u call them he acts like this. it will not get better once u marry him only worse. please talk to a professional if u need to but u already have some doubt or u wouldn't have asked this question here. run as fast as u can, away from this guy.
2006-12-06 10:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by skylinbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you ever want to marry someone like that? If there are things about you that "make him sick," then this man is not husband material (or even bf material). Walk away now.
2006-12-06 10:23:39 · answer #3 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just dump him. If he can't accept your past then it will only be a source of problem when you guys get married. If he truly loves you then he should accept what happened to you in the past. You didn't want to be raped so it's not your fault and he can't blame you for that.
2006-12-06 10:29:23 · answer #4 · answered by Confused Loner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to wait on this marriage...Your going to end up divorce in a few years if you go through with it...If he cant accept you now they way you are with your past ....What makes you think he will accept you any better in 2 months...I say WAIT dont rush the marriage...Huge mistake...Good Luck
2006-12-06 10:29:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out before it's too late. This has "abusive relationship" written all over it. No one should EVER blame you or look down on you for being a rape victim. If he can't deal with it now, he'll never be able to.
2006-12-06 10:27:02 · answer #6 · answered by Margaux80 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from my own past experience...if you have bells and whistles going off now....your best bet is not to get married to him. Because, even if he is being good for now...after the fact..his true(ugly) colors will come out again.
2006-12-06 10:42:00 · answer #7 · answered by hthr34 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry I wish I could say something that would make you feel better, but there isn't. But hold in there. You have a good heart. That is something you can be happy about.
2006-12-06 10:27:47 · answer #8 · answered by Christina Leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let the good things blind you of the awful. If you feel he can change then delay the wedding for a while and see if things change. If not, move on.
2006-12-06 10:30:27 · answer #9 · answered by Lily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was there once. Trust me, if it doesn't work now, you're going to have big problems later. Run..don't walk!!
2006-12-06 10:26:23 · answer #10 · answered by hazelmayhidabom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋