I know its against all wedding etiquitte but one of my bridesmaids has recently become a horrible friend and has hurt my feelings. Is it possible to tell her that I've changed my mind--and how could I do it?
2006-12-06 02:18:16 · 24 answers · asked by Crystal P 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First, I would talk to her and tell her that she is hurting your feelings and why she is hurting your feelings. Give her some time and see if her attitude adjusts. If it doesn't, there is no reason you can't tell her that you have decided against having her in your wedding party. It's your day. Why should you be miserable?
2006-12-06 02:30:50 · answer #1 · answered by Max's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married october of this yr and i had that same problem...what i did was made sure i had someone to cover her spot first... and then i told her that i hate to do this but i felt that someone else deserved her spot in the bridal party for may reasons.. 1 being she wasn't involved in anything to do with the wedding (both bridal parties and out J & J) 2 being i wanted to look back at my wedding in 10 yrs from now and still be good friends with the people that shared that day with me. .... (I'm not sure what ur situation is) Then i told her that i was sorry and i hoped it did;t ruin our friendship... and it hasn't she was glad cause she couldn't afford it and she didn't;t know how to tell me., and she was thankful that i was so honest with her no matter if it was going to hurt her feelings..
You need to remember that is yoyour day and it only happens once so u don't want and regrets .... If one of ur girls is repeatably hurting ur feelings then she doesn't belong in the wedding party.
But if this is a good friend that u have been friends with for yrs then u may want to just sit her down and tell her that she hurt ur feelings ,... maybe she doesn't even realize what she's done. It could be as easy as a nice long talk and things could be worked out.
Just think about what u want to do cause u could loose a good friend in the end and only u can decide if that's OK.
One last thing to remember is that there will always be that one person on each side of the party that will not pull their weight, meaning not help out as much as the rest of the party.... That person is more then likely really jealous of u right now cause your doing something before they are... and sometimes people do or say mean things out of jealousy.
Good luck and i hope everything works out for u!
2006-12-06 05:08:45 · answer #2 · answered by laydenirvine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Crystal
Invite her to lunch or for a cocktail. Tell her that you and your fiance have decided that you are downsizing your wedding party. That it's getting too costly. Explain to her that the two of you decided to cut her and her groomsman because you're 'just not as close as you once were'. If there are bad feelings between this will make them worse (unless she wants out anyway) On the other hand, keeping her may bring you back together again.....Weddings have a way of making people close....
The other option is just calling her and being honest by telling her that she has hurt you as of late and that you feel that there is not a place for her in your wedding because only 'true' friends should stand before God and represent you as you give your life unto another....
Good luck and take care.
2006-12-06 02:24:53 · answer #3 · answered by Smiling Belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is okay, you are going to have to live with the wedding pictures for the rest of your life and who wants to have a bridesmaid that you don't even like. Although if you think this is just a bump in the road and you will get over it I would not change bridesmaids.
2006-12-06 02:21:35 · answer #4 · answered by Arual 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you should think about how long you have been friends first and can the problem be resolved before you make a rash decision since the wedding has obviously been planned! If not then it is your wedding and it is your decision , if the problem can't be fixed you will have to look at your photos for the rest of your life... be honest with her if she paid for her dress reimburse her for it.Overall think about it..life is short good friends are hard to find and sometimes just getting your feelings hurt is small potatoes!!!
2006-12-06 02:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by steishak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have changed yor mind about her, then you should forget about etiquette, if she has hurt your feelings you should tell her...
being someone's bridesmaid is a very special gift to that person and a special event to the bride of course --> no negative feelings and disappointment should disturb that, just talk to her privately and do not her feelings in public, if she is a good person she will understand if not you again know that you changed your mind for the right reason
I hope that helps
greets Anne
2006-12-06 02:30:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it seems like a dilemma but there really isn't anything wrong with it. Your bridesmaids are supposed to be people that care about you and support you and your nuptials. If she no longer does then she does not fufill the role. I would fist see if you can work out your spat. It's always sad to lose a friendship and sometimes problems can be worked out. If feel like you can't then BE HONEST. It might be a hard thing to do but it will be the best course of action.
2006-12-06 02:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by Annie Oakley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she know that you feel this way? If not tell her, then if you still feel this way after your conversation let her know you no longer wish to have her in your wedding. I would do it right then, after the conversation.
If she already knows you feel like this and it's not going to change for what ever reason, call her immediately and tell her she is out.
It's your big day and you should be happy. Hopefully you will only be getting married once so make sure you do it right and how you want it.
Good Luck!!
2006-12-06 02:32:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just come right out with it....tell her when you asked her you thought she was a good person to have be a bridesmaid...tell her that she has changed and so has your decision to have her as a bridesmaid. Tell her that you know that it is for the best and this is what you really want.
2006-12-06 03:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has been a bad friend then there is no reason to have her in your wedding. Do you want to end the friendship completely, or just kick her out of the wedding party? It would be tough to say "I still want to be friends, but I don't like you enough to have you in my wedding party anymore". I think it's an all or nothing situation.
Good luck!
2006-12-06 02:22:47 · answer #10 · answered by Lauren728 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋