I asked him how much he thinks we should spend on each other....he says $20.00 or under.......we are in college but are adults with resonable incomes....is he serious, is this normal, what is him problem as why he would chosse such a small amount. This is our first christmas.
2006-12-06 02:17:47 · 27 answers · asked by Queen459789 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
His family does celabrate christmas...but they do not buy presents and his has no children
2006-12-06 02:24:37 · update #1
dont be a gold digger tramp
2006-12-06 02:20:21 · answer #1 · answered by wolfchat_2005 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I understand that you were hoping for something special from your boyfriend, but why must is cost alot to be special? I think that you shouldn't tell him this bothers you as he might realize he can't afford you or want someone who isn't so materialistic. Ever consider that he has family and friends he would like to buy for and that $20 is all he can afford per person. Personally me and my spouse quit buying eachother presents as we have the necessities and would rather buy for needy children and families. It is obvious that you feel Christmas is about presents rather than Christ's birth, helping those less fortunate and spending time with loved ones. You really should feel guilty for expecting more for yourself considering the true meaning of Christmas. I guess some people choose to be selfless at Christmas and other choose to be selfish. Don't take offense to his Christmas budgeting as he probably don't have a choice. If anything you should embrace his realistic approach to Christmas as most people spend all of their money only to be broke after Christmas with no money to pay their bills. Sorry for being so harsh. But after seeing famililes who can barely feed their kids and pay the bills. And to know those children won't have presents under the tree. It angers me to see such selfish adults as Christmas is supposed to be the most special time of the year for children. Have a Merry Christmas! God Bless!
2006-12-06 10:49:33 · answer #2 · answered by zero 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you making Christmas about money? Open your eyes there is much more to this holiday than money. Some family's are struggling to make 20 bucks stretch for 2-3 kids. So if you really want to make the holidays special volunteer at a shelter or donate some gifts or time to Charity
2006-12-06 10:26:00 · answer #3 · answered by bb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have come from a background where presents aren't a big deal in his family. My boyfriend is happy to not even buy gifts for Christmas because he's been brought up without a mother and his family doesn't give alot of presents for birthdays or Christmas. He's gotten shampoo and conditioner for the last couple of birthdays! You may need to ask why he doesnt consider gift-giving as important as you do. Read the 5 Love Languages Book- it tells you which love language you prefer in your relationships, the 5 love languages are gifts, touch, quality time, words of affirmation and i cant remember the other one. perhaps his love language is one other than gifts!
2006-12-06 10:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Christmas is a commercial holiday. Ask him what he thinks about it. It may not have much meaning to him and that's why he set a low limit. I don't like buying gifts either, unless it's something that is useful that we both can use (I'm married, so that's why I feel that way).
I'd rather spend more money on birthdays and anniversarys. He might be the same. Talk to him and find out how he feels. You won't know unless you ask him.
2006-12-06 10:21:42 · answer #5 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's more important to you? A caring boyfriend or one that spends large sums on a present to "show" he cares?
Materialism really isn't an attractive quality and just maybe he has a good reason for having limited funds available this Christmas. I know I do and my girl is fine with this.........she says that the everyday things that she gets from me, far outweigh any present I could ever buy.
2006-12-06 10:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your boyfriend was brought up where materialistic things are not as important as the thought of the gift that you give a person. It appears he may not be putting a dollar value to the gift that he will give you, but a gift that comes from his heart. You can try and accept this and spend other quality times together to make your first christmas a special and memoriable one.
2006-12-06 10:24:28 · answer #7 · answered by Grasshopper 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I remember going to college and my DH and I not having a whole lot of money, maybe that's his reason for setting the limit so low? I mean yeah, you might have a reasonable income but think about the bills that have to be paid. And another thing, as far as being in a relationship you really shouldn't set a price unless it's absolutely necessary (being that maybe money is just REALLY tight or whatnot). And for it being your first one together, you basically put yourself in the situation by asking so now you'll just have to live with it.
2006-12-06 10:26:20 · answer #8 · answered by angel_baby0824 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your boyfriend wants to see how creative you are. Christmas isnt about how much the gift costs or what it is, it's about the feeling going into the gift. It's about the smile when you open it. Maybe he is like me and just wants to avoid the hectic and overwhelming crowds everywhere. Be happy that you can spend this holiday with him. My brother in law is in Iraq and will miss it and my sister is going crazy. All she wants is him, don't sweat the cost, just have a great holiday with the ones you care about the most. Merry Christmas from mine to yours.
2006-12-06 10:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by Lee M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, is he a joking type of guy? Ask him if he's serious. If he is, don't worry, you don't have to get him a $20 or under present. You can spend whatever. Just don't expect anything too fancy. What if he tells you he's serious, but buys you a really nice purse, just to make you surprised?
2006-12-06 10:21:39 · answer #10 · answered by shondak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him his reasons. It might be that he's against the commercialism of the holidays or prefers to give simple gifts that are from the heart. Why not play along? If you use your imagination, it's possible to find or make a cool gift, or put together a romantic date for $20.
2006-12-06 10:31:39 · answer #11 · answered by Blenderhead 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋