I dont know if i'm being over protective or half crazy! The news has me perinoid! I dont leave me 20mth old daughter alone with my boyfriend at all. If I leave the house she is with me,even if will make it easier on me to leave her with him. I know he wont harm her but the stories I hear about a child left with the boyfriend and the child is hurt or killed. The latest story i heard was about a 10mth old being put in a freezer because the boyfriend didnt know what to do for a high temp. I'm I being overly protective? Should I let him know my concerns? I dont want him to feel uncomfortable or leave....Help!!
2006-12-06 02:07:15 · 18 answers · asked by sw312 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It's not that I dont trust him, I just hear so many stories and I want to be safe. He is great with her, he has a daughter too. I guess i'm being too protective..
2006-12-06 02:27:52 · update #1
You don't trust him and you need to come to terms with that.
You don't trust his judgment when it comes time to parent based on other stories, not your own life.
I suggest you have a discussion with him on scenarios of what he would do. How do you treat a high tempt? Illness like diarrhea and throwing up? Accidents? Fussy/Tantrums?
Discuss on what you would do (as mothers are also in the story lines too).
Come to terms. Have emergency numbers listed by the phone and the fridge, with a phone book as well.
Have CPR and First Aid instructions near front door and phone.
Both go get CPR and First Aid for infant/toddler and adult certification. Along with attending a parenting class or two.
This can help you learn a long with him, plus be able to feel more comfortable knowing he now knows this stuff.
Your first time leaving her with him will be very nervous. This is your daughter and as a parent, you don't wish anything bad to happen to her. That is completly normal. However, she will have accidents and injuries. Can't shelter her and have to learn how to adjust of her being away for a few hours. When she gets older and with never leaving her with others, you will develop a strong fear of letting her out of your site. Not healthy for you nor her.
Just gain the confidence in him and both go together to get some classes done, so both can support eachother and not make him feel uncomfortable.
2006-12-06 03:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to him about how you feel. Then start out by taking small steps. If you say you trust your boyfriend then there should not be a prob. Try taking a shower and have him watch her while your doing that. Clean up your bedroom or something while he keeps a eye on her. Then if you have to run to the bank or to a store really fast and you know you will be gone for a few min. have him watch her for you. Make you he knows what do do incase something happens (fever, hungry, gets hurt....) and if you have a cell phone, make sure that if he has any questions he calls you. Like I said start off small and work your way up to being gone a half of a hour, then to a hour and so on. Just dont let this ruin your relationship, and as long as he's a good guy he wont leave. Your a mother, and you just want your baby to be taken care of.
2006-12-06 13:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by angel01182 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that a lot of bad things happen every day with kids and a significant other. But if your REALLY trust them then I don't see the problem. Does he have experience with children and does he help you with your daughter now? A list can be great thing for guys or anyone not familiar with kids. Make a how to list for him and include emergency numbers and hopefully he has a way to contact you for quick questions and emergencies. Do a trial run if you are worried just ask them to watch your little girl for a half hour or so. Go to a room alone or go outside and get some fresh air. If he does ok then maybe go for longer the next time and maybe away from the house. Make your judgement then, you will know deep down if you are still uncomfortable.
2006-12-06 10:18:12 · answer #3 · answered by omegalibra927 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are that worried about your boyfriend then you shouldn't have him in the house at all or anywhere around your child. Is he the father? If you think that you are being overprotective and your gut tells you he really won't hurt your child, then just talk to him about it. Does he feel comfortable being left alone with the baby, or does he feel like he wouldn't know what to do? Leave him a list of instructions. I would think in most cases, he would call you and ask you what to do for a fever before he would put the child in the freezer. I know it is hard, I never liked leaving my kids with anyone but my husband when they were little. Just start small, like a 20 minute trip to the store. Good luck.
2006-12-06 10:59:33 · answer #4 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not blame you because you should feel that way.. I have a daughter who is 4 yrs. old and I don't even trust leaving her with her own father.. I feel like it is better for me too be safe then sorry..
Everywhere I go I bring my daughter because I do not trust no one. Even women because women have boyfriends and you never know if she might say too her male friend to watch this child for a minute I will be right back. Before you know my little girl will have been molested.
I am extremely paranoid because it has happened in my family.. My own father is a child molester, how could I trust any man if you can't even trust your own father..
My advice too you is, do not leave your daughter with your boyfriend no matter what.. You are just being a loving mother who is protecting her daughter.. Good Luck too you....
2006-12-06 10:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you already have the answer to this question. Don't leave anyone alone with your daughter that doesn't have common sense. He should have already learned to sense your paranoia! A good partner will always try to help you raise a child together, not just watch you walk away with her everytime. You are also indirectly training your boyfriend that you are the sole person responsible for the child and any children you both ever decide to have.
2006-12-06 10:18:38 · answer #6 · answered by Katucha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you are right on for not leaving your child. I think more parents should use caution when leaving their children. I have a very hard time because my husband is in the military, and we are not near any family nor do we have many friends, they keep moving away, so we just rarely if ever leave our kids. I know how hard it is when my husband is gone in the field or when he was in iraq to drag out my twins every single trip to the store or whatever, but its the safest. Good luck! I think every parent has had these dilemas over finding a sitter, leaving a child ect,....
2006-12-06 10:21:26 · answer #7 · answered by misty n justin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never be too careful with the well-being of your child. Trust NO ONE. In this day and age you hear far too many times that someone was trusted with a child, and harm came to them.
2006-12-06 11:03:27 · answer #8 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always trust your instincts...but I'd be concerned as to why you don't trust him w/ her. Is there something inside telling you not to do so? Do you trust other people to look after her but not him?
If so, thats a huge sign that there is something about him you don't trust, plain and simple. You can never be too over protective when it comes to people looking after your child.
2006-12-06 10:21:57 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
use your best judgment on that call. How well do you know your boyfriend and how does he act with her when you are around? If you feel safer that you take her with you then do so. You are the mother and only you can decide what is best for her. It may not hurt to talk about it with him. If you do decide to leave her with him give him a number he can call if he does not know what to do if she gets sick or crabby. But remember it is up to you on what is best for her.
2006-12-06 10:15:49 · answer #10 · answered by amy61283 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋