i need ur help, it's stupid, but pls no selly comments!
i'm at the bigining of a new relationship, only 2 weeks ago, i mat a guy, and we wxent out together 4 times, we are ok, but the problemis that we do not talk much, i start talking i tell him abt my day, work, friends, i ask him, and he answer, but we do not talk enough!
i'm not the kind of poeple who talk much, and so he is!! and now, i feel that he is bored of this, may be he doesn't feel that he does not speak a lot too, he always say to me when we finish a short conversation and we keep quite:" so, say something", and i smile or i laught, sometimes i find things to say, but often not!!
WHAT TO DO? pls suggest me subjects top talk abt, and how to move on, how to keep this relationship, i haven't seen him from last saturday(3days ago), yesterday he called me and he said that he is sorry fpor not calling, because he has some problems(...)
i feel bad, pls help
2006-12-06 01:29:29 · 9 answers · asked by curious girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Try to make sure you are asking questions that DO NOT have a yes or no response!
In the beginning stages of a relationship...it is the "get to know each other" stage. This is when you find out if you have things in common and if you have compatibility, so try asking him some general questions first, like : What kind of movies does he like? What is his favorite movie? Who is his favorite actor? What kind of music does he enjoy? Who is his Favorite performer? Does he like sports? Does he have brothers and sisters? How many?
What does he like to do in in spare time? Any hobbies? What is his favorite food? Favorite color? If he knew he had but ONE YEAR left on this earth...how would he want to spend it? What would he want to do? Does he like to read? Dance? What is his most memorable Christmas and why? Does he like to go to big parties, or does he prefer smaller more intimate gatherings?
To make all this "getting aquainted" into conversation and NOT just you "grilling him" for information, then as he gives you and answer...tell him YOUR answer to the same question! This is how conversations start...then it should be easy for BOTH you and him to really "talk" ... Ask him if he enjoys traveling? Where has he been? what states? what countries? Is HE "the one" on trips that is always capturing the moment with the camera? Or does he just like to "see the sites"? Does he buy souvenirs?
Hopefully this is enough to help you get started, so that you can come up with some things on your own. The main thing to remember is to "listen"...when he is answering your questions...look at him and give him your complete undivided attention. "nod" make small comments like "really" "hmm..." "I agree"...this is just to let him know that you ARE interested in what he has to say.
There are no limits to what you can talk about...BUT I would reccomend with a new relationship to stay away from talking about two things...1...religion and 2...politics...save those subject until after you get to know each other better!!!
Here is a saying for you to remember:
"Talk about your self and you are considered egotisical and a bore...talk about others and you are considered a gossip...help the other person talk about THEM SELVES...and you are considered the greatest conversationalist in the world!!" (in other words..learn to be a good listener!)
Good luck to you!
2006-12-06 01:32:00 · answer #1 · answered by photogram1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Read newspapers and magazines like People and Us, Entertainment Weekly, Rolling Stone, and any others that might interest you and he both. If you are aware of a particular interest he has, read up on it so you can speak intelligently to him about it, and ask intelligent questions.
Watch news shows or shows that everyone is talking about, so you can keep up. Also, don't spend too much time alone together. Get out there and mix it up. Don't stress if he doesn't call. So what. Don't hang by the phone trying to will it ring. Go out with your own friends, follow your own interests.
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to be attached at the hip. Give each other some breathing room. Maybe a little time apart will make you both easier to talk to. Good luck.
2006-12-06 09:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by Firespider 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly serious about this fellow then tell him that the lack of communication bothers you.
If you continue in this relationship - even marry you have to know that all relationships are based on communication. If you can't communicate now - what will happen in years to come?
I would seriously re-think your relationship and if you are getting exactly what you want from it.
2006-12-06 09:34:23 · answer #3 · answered by No one 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not every relationship is going to work out and from the look of it this wont either but don't worry plenty of other fish out in the sea
2006-12-06 09:42:36 · answer #4 · answered by Alright! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hurm.. if u have nothing to talk about.. try finding out stuff he's into.. maybe sports.. and do ur homework.. maybe he's feeling a lil insecure about the relationship and needs to get to know u better before he can share his deep thoughts and views.. good luck~
2006-12-06 09:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by [MiA] 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you want to talk to him. Tell him that you want as a friend along with a boyfriend. Talk to him, plan fun activities to do together, then, you might have something to talk about.
2006-12-06 09:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
guys dont talk much ... it will take him a while to warm up ... you like his character ... continue to get to know him ... if its meant to be, it will take a life time to ultimately know him ... and you, you'll be much better for it. Remember, we, in our culture, expect things quickly and easily ... relationships, are not like that in the real world!!
2006-12-06 09:32:31 · answer #7 · answered by Eamon35 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go watch a move, wander in the gardens, eat together, cook for him, go to game house together.. n so on...
2006-12-06 09:33:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
go back to scooool and get more learning
2006-12-06 09:31:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋