She says she loves me, she misses me and stuff but she also does stuff that sometimes she does not love me as much as she says. I will explain. Everytime we talk on the phone, she rarely says to me I love u, I need you, I miss you, stuff that all lovers say when on the phone, she says it but sometimes I almost have to force her to do it. She says it is because she has other problems too and then she is not in the mood and stuff...I do not know what to believe. Why does not she leave those other problems on the side and just concentrate on me when we speak? I do not want to hit her with silly questions all the time, thats why I am here writing to you guys.
On the other hand, we see everyday, a normal thing for two people who love each other. Well, she came yesterday and said to me that is going to start skipping days because that way she can have her personal space (thing I understand), but she also said that by doing that she will miss more.
2006-12-06 01:06:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I mean if she loves me, she does not need to skip any day to find out if she misses me more or not. I miss her everyday. period. I do not know understand what's all about. I count the hours to see her everyday because I love her with all my heart and miss her even more and even though she says she feels the same way she came up with this situation now. I do not know what to think. She says she does not want our relationship to be a routine kind of being afraid of getting bored quickly. But my big question here is: if you love someone with all your hear, can you get bored of this person if you see her/him everyday? Come on, this should be her most happy moment at the end of the day. I mean you can not use logic when you love, you use just your heart and she started giving me all logic crap not to see me everyday and to miss each other more. Please, please, if someone out there has or is experience the same, please let me know what to do, what to think. Whatever can help me heal my heart
2006-12-06 01:13:27 · update #1
ou should not worry about it too much, and focus on the things she does do to show you she loves you. Some people - like by boyfriend - are not that easy with saying "I love you". It used to eat me up inside, as on the one hand she showed me I was special but on the other he never said that he loved me. Until we had a chat, and he made clear that it takes a lot to say these four words. Not because he does not love me, but because he just finds it difficult to say.
And women need their space, so dont worry about it! Don't be stressed!
2006-12-06 01:15:08 · answer #1 · answered by MM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from, but I can see where she's coming from too. Seeing each other everyday is too much. I know that married couples see each other everyday, but they still have things in their lives they have to do as a single person. It's not uncommon in America for both the husband and wife to work.
What I'm trying to say is, if you see each other so much, you do get tired of it. Look, my boyfriend and I were seeing each other 4 times a week. I told him one time that I was worried he got tired of me being there so much. He said, "You only come over 4 times out of the week." But I could tell by the tone that something wasn't right. It was almost as if he was a smart aleck about it. He broke up with me not too long after that. He asked for me back the next day. He said he wanted to take it slow. So we started back at just seeing each other one day a week. It actually gave us time to miss each other and to realize how much we love each other. We are stronger now because of it! We're back up to two days now and I think we're doing good.
I can understand why she is wanting to skip days. I suggest watching a movie together or something at home early in the week, then doing something nice as a date on Friday night or something. This way, you see her at the beginning of the week, you have 4 days to be without her and to do your own thing (and have time to miss her), then you get to have a special night out Friday to enjoy each other's company. Then it's only 3 more days until you see each other again.
One thing that always has the potential to destroy a relationship is being too clingy. My last boyfriend said I was too clingy. It hurt like crazy hearing that, but it made me more knowledgable in this relationship. You've got to give her space! You've got to have your own space! You've got to have time with your friends as well as her! You're going to wear out the relationship! Give her space and it will be okay. Trust me. Absense makes the heart grow fonder!
2006-12-06 19:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by New mommy 2010! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you aren't giving her enough space. I know because i did it to my boyfriend and we ended up breakin up because of it. But we got back together. I know you love her very much but I think you should let her start making plans to see you and give each other space. But if you're not sure that she loves you then you need to ask. Giving each other space is good in a relationship like seeing you friends when you guys aren't spending time together. but whatever you do DON'T BREAK it off unless she's confused. And if you guys see each other less the better it will be when you do see her same with her with you.
2006-12-06 09:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by hugs and kisses 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seeing each other EVERY DAY is never a good thing. It is challenging enough when you are married.
If there is no time to actually miss each other, boredom and annoyance happens quickly.
I think she is there. She is already burned out on the relationship.
I am in a 38 year marriage. Not being together constantly is what makes it more interesting.
2006-12-06 09:14:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I agree with most of the above replies. Let me tell you something, NEVER, I mean NEVER be needy or clingy with a girl you are seeing, you'll be history sooner that you think. Be indepentent, have your own things going on, dont see her every day. Show her that you respect her and love her, but you need to show her that you have your own life, too. Go easy on the I-love-you's, that will push her away even more.
Good luck buddy!
Rafael
2006-12-06 09:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by Skubba 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep it simple that way you will know by her actions what she really wants let her decide when she wants to see you just back off a bit then if you see she is taking a step in another direction you can just move on. if at anytime in a relationship you have to keep asking if the other loves you its just simply not a relationship that you need to continue.
2006-12-06 09:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by Robyn H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is trying to distant herself for you. Becareful what you say to a mate. If you say I need you it comes across as being desperate, that might scare her away. It appears she wants some freedom and unfortunately you either give her some freedom or you break up with her and give her total freedom. If its meant to be she will come back.
2006-12-06 09:14:01 · answer #7 · answered by hank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people aren't as open as others about saying I love you or kissing or hugging. Maybe you're pushing her too much to say these things. That might trouble her even more.
2006-12-06 09:08:35 · answer #8 · answered by just_me90 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to lay off! You are pushing her away by "forcing her to say she loves you" If you have to ask for it then it doesn't count. Why don't you not ask her at all and see...wouldn't it be nice for her to actually say it without you mentioning it. If you keep bugging her about it you soon won't have any girlfriend.
2006-12-06 09:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by jabbergirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to give her some space. It sounds to me like you are crowding her. Girls do not like guys who are around them all the time. It is annoying....we need time to think and time to do our own things, that doesn't mean she's cheating on you just because she wants time away from you.
2006-12-06 09:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by Kimmii 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋