Ok my son is 11 now and still believes in Santa. The problem is that he was arguing with other children his age on the school bus and they kept making fun of him because he believes in Santa. He asked me, mom is Santa real or not? I said yes. I don't know how to tell him that we've been lying to him his whole life. What do I do? His little sister is 4 and of course she believes, I know he wouldn't ruin it for her but I hate to have his feelings hurt and have him made fun of by his peers. He wants a 4 wheeler for Christmas and money is tight, how do I tell him that if he gets one, he probably won't get much else? He will wake up Christmas morning and feel like his sister got alot and he just got one thing.(not realizing that his cost $1200 and hers cost 400 or so). Please give me your opinion on what to tell him and how to do it gently. I remember when I found out that Santa didn't exist and was heartbroken, by my own grandma (I was also 11 and she thought I knew) Why do we lie ????????
2006-12-06 00:51:44 · 36 answers · asked by justwondering 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know it's hard, but you need to tell him. Every parent goes through this. We had a similar situation in our family this year. He had to be told; he was just too old to continue on with it. He was going to get teased too. In the end you're doing him a favor! You don't want him to be teased because you couldn't bring yourself to tell him. So crazy, isn't it. We them this story so they enjoy their childhood. Then we have to tell them it's all untrue so they can continue to have a good childhood. Who started this Santa crap, anyway lol?! Hell be ok, & so will you! Have a great holiday!
2006-12-06 00:57:00 · answer #1 · answered by pr1ncezz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just explain that Santa was an exciting way to give gifts on Christmas. He will be more hurt by you letting him think there is a Santa and arguing with other kids than knowing the truth. Also, He is old enough to understand the dynamics of one gift that costs $1200 and another $400. He will be happy with the 4 wheeler so I doubt it will be an issue anyway. What an awesome gift!
2006-12-06 00:59:22 · answer #2 · answered by moose on the loose 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question made me cry. I am having a really hard time deciding how to handle the whole Santa thing with my daughter because of this. I personally remember how I felt when I discovered that Santa was a symbol and not a man. I think that you need to have a talk with your son about how it was time he became a Junior Grown Up and helped carry on the legend for his little sister. Make him a part of the mystery so that his shame level is lessened. Tell him how you found out and how it made you feel. Then explain how special you felt that you could then carry on the legend of Santa for youngsters around you then. I founf out because I found a PlayDo sculpture that I made for Santa of him skiing hidden in the closet.
2006-12-06 01:06:35 · answer #3 · answered by -- 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents never told me and my sister that Santa wasn't real, we figured it out on our own when we caught our father enough times pertending he was Santa. I would say the best thing is to sit him down and tell him about how there are many santas in the world, because they are each childs parents. And other friendly folk who care about kids having a wonderful christmas. But how much fun it is to have young kids watch for a jolly old fellow riding in a sleigh with eigth magic reindeer.
Then get him to help you keep bringing delight in your four year olds life by continuing to watch for Santa with her.
So if you do it right you can get him to understand why you did it.
I feel your bigger issue is in the gifts. If you go through with getting him the four wheeler, you need to make him understand how much one of them costs and that's why it would be his only present. I suggest you do this before you buy him the four wheeler. So he can decide if he really wants the four wheeler or a bunch of presents.
Edit: Don't schools teach kids about the different Santas throughout history anymore? I remember learning about how other kids around the world believed in Santa and what traditiond they practiced. I feel that helped me realize how Santa had been a real man (St Nicholas) but he's no longer alive, but he's spirit lives forever in all of us. That's why we are all Santa Clauses in our on right to the children in our life and around the world.
2nd edit: Has your kids ever seen the Miracle on 34th street (Both versions) I know it shows that Santa is real, but in the long run it shows how his spirit along with Gods love is alive in all of us. You just have to believe. If you use this let him know that he is also has the spirit of St. Nicholas in him. By letting him know that you can teach him the spirit of giving.
2006-12-06 01:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by Mikira 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK Santa actually was real at 1 time but he did die but his spirit is still known as Santa and the Santa spirit makes the parents do all they do for there kids on Christmas do you relay think the parents do all that's because they want to no of course not they do it because Santa gets them in the Santa spirit
2006-12-09 05:33:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that Santa is magic. That's why we can't explain everything about him, what he does, and how he does things. And, because he's magic, we don't really know anything about Santa for sure.
Isn't it interesting how Santa is like God brought down to earth? A supernatural entity we don't really understand, but one that can bring us good things. Maybe God, like Santa, is really that spirit in each of us that brings good things to others.
So, as far as presents on Christmas go, you could tell him that, in a way, Santa has been putting the presents under the tree, but you are the one he has do it for him, and you do have to buy the presents.
2006-12-06 01:25:40 · answer #6 · answered by Dan C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you seen Polar Express, or read the book? I love the idea about the way the story expresses whether Santa is real or not. It's about belief, whether or not you believe and how the adults don't believe anymore. I swore Santa was real until a very late age too and it's OK! Explain to him it's about the spirit and magic of Christmas. It's kind of like Ghosts...you've never seen one, but you like the idea of believing in them. It's not that Santa doesn't exist, he always exists in our hearts and our memories.
2006-12-06 01:10:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believing in Santa is not a lie.The belief is with in your heart and is cared with you well into you adulthood.If someone else does not believe does that make it so?then does that make the belief in God a lie?I hope you tell your son the truth, at Christmas is the celebration of Jesus birthday,The gifts are a simply reminder of the wise men that gave gifts to Christ on his birth.Santa is the belief that the spirit still lives in the giving, and the remembrance of what was.If you want the true store look-up Saint Nicolis on the net. hard copy the story and read it to your children.We all need to believe in some thing.Santa Claus is a harmless belief in giving unto others,without to prospect of getting something in return.
2006-12-06 01:15:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to sit him down and tell him yourself. Give an explanation of why you would lie to him his whole life as a best effort to make him understand. In general, I would imagine it has to do with it being fun in some way to pretend things, but since I am disguted by the entire practice of lying to your children like that, I really cannot give you a way to justify what you've done.
Maybe something along the lines of, "It's just always been a tradition, and I didn't realize until it was too late that it was a bad idea." Though, I feel like that, too, could be a lie, as you said you yourself were crushed when the truth came out in your childhood...
This is why perpetuating the Santa myth is one of the most awful traditions in our society. I lost nearly all trust in my parents when I discovered they'd been lying to me for six years. As a parent, you have a duty to guide your child. When your child realizes what you've done, it could scar him permanently.
2006-12-06 01:04:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, the hard part of any myth, is the truth.
Thing is, you can let it down slowly, you know, tell him that Santa retired, so your job as his parents, is to get the gifts he sent, or as well, work the church idea into his timeline, for the real story on christmas....either way, it'll help him to get over the sadness...but don't flat out tell him, Santa's a fake....I was santa....it was the best job anyone could ask for.
2006-12-06 00:55:30 · answer #10 · answered by steveraven 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course Santa is real. Santa is the spirit of Christmas and St. Nicholas (a real person) was the patron saint of children.
It's time for your 11 year old son to understand that Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ. And that Santa Claus was real and represents the joyous spirit of giving and celebrates the child in all of us.
People journeyed for days on end to see the baby Jesus and bring him presents.
2006-12-06 00:55:13 · answer #11 · answered by kja63 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋