She found a old letter from a girl I use to talk to and never told her about. I feel we are ment to be because we were together for 4 years and been through more together than anybody knows. It just seems like I cant get through to her.
2006-12-06 00:42:54 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ouch! Well, sad to say, she won't forgive you. You broke the link of trust you supposedly had and that is not good. After 6 months, she has had time to sort out her thoughts and move on. If you have been pressuring her for the past 6 months about it, that is only pushing it that much more and you are driving yourself apart.
My advice is to get over it. You said it correctly....your "ex"-girlfriend, and that is exactly what she is. Until you find someone else, you have to leave it alone, quit bothering her. She is moving on and you may be harboring some insecurities of not having her by your side.
Consider it a lesson learned and give her her freedom. She may eventually come around but in the meantime, you need to get on with your life. Good luck!
2006-12-06 00:48:56 · answer #1 · answered by onecharliecat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you were together for 4 years does NOT mean you are meant to be together. It means you were together for 4 years. Period. That's all folks.
If your relationship was so strong, then finding an innocent letter from an old friend should have meant nothing. But was it innocent? Had you given her reasons not to trust you? Or is she just paranoid and jealous? Either way, lack of trust will kill any relationship whether it's 4 years or 40 years long.
In the end, none of that may matter. If she's not willing to get back together with you and six months have passed, then it's probably not going to happen and you need to face that fact. Stop trying to get through to her -- after a certain point it's stalking or harassment. Learn from your mistakes or chalk it up to bad luck and move on.
2006-12-06 00:48:34 · answer #2 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to let time fix things and if she doesn't come back, she didn't really want to be in the relationship anymore. All she was doing was looking for an excuse to come along to make it easier on her to get out of the relationship. She may have been feeling like she's been tied down and she just need time to herself to find out where she really wants to be, especially if she's young. If you've been through so much the way you say you have and if you all were ment to be, then she would have been willing to forgive and forget because love comes first. This is from my "FEMALE" point of view!
2006-12-06 00:53:14 · answer #3 · answered by Lil Bit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
John,
If you cant get through to her, she obviously doesnt trust in you. You either need to find a way to earn that trust back, or move on.. i dont know what this "used to talk to and never told her about" is all about.. depends on what that means.. if you were "talking to her" while you were dating then she may have a right to be pissed.. .why didnt you tell her? just exatly WHAT did the letter say? So if the letter was around before she was then fine she hasnt got a gripe, but she may think that it was while you were with her. Sounds to me like thats what she's thinking...
Soo your job is to figure out how to win her trust back.. perhaps you can get the old letter girl to talk to her and tell her that there wasnt anything going on... or short of that.. find some other way to get through to her..
otherwise im afraid that you need to move on if you cant.
2006-12-06 00:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by Jonny B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have been trying for 6 months, I would say, move on. Sounds like she has made her decision. Silly as it may be over a letter from someone you used to talk to, but all the same. She has broken it off. You will find the right person and be truthful from the start!
2006-12-06 00:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by JUNONNKI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the letter is from before you two were together thenyou need to explain to her that it was before you guys were together and tell her your sorry about not bringing up the past. A past relationship shouldn't ruin a current one especially since it was before her time. Also you should get rid of the letter and any other stuff from past relationships and make sure that she knows you did.
2006-12-06 00:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by valh87 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you thought you was ment to be then most people dont keep old letters from there gf of bf. by the 2nd year you should have tossed all the letters from any girl but her. i dont know why guys dont know that. but if you found a letter from a guy that was to her dont you think you would be thinking the same thing
2006-12-06 00:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If after a four year relationship, your ex is now refusing to speak to you because of a letter she found in your belongings from a woman who is no longer in your life, then your relationship was not strong to begin with...take a breath, step back, look at the big picture....she's probably not "the one"
2006-12-06 00:50:00 · answer #8 · answered by j c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she does not want you back then accept that and move on. Trust is a major part of a relationship and takes a long time to build up and when it is destroyed takes even longer if ever to rebuild.
2006-12-06 00:44:49 · answer #9 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure its just about an old letter and nothing more?! 4 yrs is a long time to let go because of a letter.
2006-12-06 00:45:46 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Chastons Wifey♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋