Some of you know that my son was born yesturday...we are home now and my girlfriend is saying she doesnt want him and all this ****.....So I said I was going to take him and keep him(he is my son) so she said I have to choose her or the Baby.....because she wants to leave....what the hell do I do?
Yeah...I do know that she just had a baby and all but shes calling adoption places and packing his clothes....Does any1 think it would be good to just leave for a little while with the baby?
2006-12-06 00:35:17 · 21 answers · asked by Joey 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Even if your girlfriend is calling adoption centers they cannot legally do anything without your consent. You are the father and have right too. Congratulations on your son and I give you so much credit for stepping up and doing the right thing. It may be possible that your girlfriend could be going through post partum depression. You should call her Dr. and ask him about her medically. Did she want the baby before he was born? If it were me I would take the baby and go to your moms or someones house where you can have some help taking care of him because taking care of a newborn is hard work not to mention how you will feel being sleep deprived. Please Please keep us informed on this one and let us know if there is any other things that you need help with I am sure that we can all talk you through it. Good luck to you both and I pray that your girlfriend will change her mind. If she said that she does just be cautious to leave her alone with the baby so she doesn't try to do anything behind your back.
2006-12-06 01:06:53 · answer #1 · answered by ws_422 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally she can give your son up for adoption. In the hospital unwed parents are supposed to fill out a paternity acknowlegement form where the father admits that he is in the father of the baby. If you did not do that then you have not established paterntiy in the eyes of the law. She could be experiencing a bout with post-partum depression. Leaving with the baby might not help the situation because she could feel like you're choosing to take the baby over her which could cause her to become more unstable. I would call her mother or another family member to come and be with the infant and stay by her side. It's going to get worse before it gets better. Being a new mother is overwhelming and she could just reacting to that. If she doesn't improve then I'd call her OB/GYN and he can prescribe her something to calm her down.
2006-12-06 01:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by *~*Jon-Jon's Mommy!!*~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cannot give this baby up for adoption unless you agree to sign papers as well. Take the baby and leave for a few days. She could also be suffering from post-pardum depression, which can cause mood swings and confusion. Take the baby and go stay with relatives, get her to a doctor or professional to find out why she is having these feelings, whatever you do, your child is the most important thing, never choose anyone over your child, I have a feeling she will come around what she realizes what she is missing out on if you just take the baby away for a couple of days, but get her some help as well don't leave her by herself have someone come and stay with her.
2006-12-06 00:48:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you leave she might call the police for taking the baby, even though your the father. Its only going to get harder for her if shes only been home one day with the baby. But she might also have postpardum depression (although im not sure how soon after the child is born this can effect a person) Try talking to her. If in the end she still does not want the child and you do, then your the father and you have the right to keep him. Ifs your child to and not just hers. Do what you feel is right in your heart. Dont let anyone else make that choice for you.
2006-12-06 05:13:56 · answer #4 · answered by angel01182 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is a choice between her or your new son,,,,there is no choice to hell with her take custody of your son now (legally too)while you can. If you don't, you could end up with a support payment, mistreatment of your son from a resentful mom, a resentful son later in the future not to mention all the cool stuff you will miss with him growing up. One day she will grow up and realize what she gave up because once it it gone you can never get it back. I couldn't imagine going through life knowing I have a kid out there and not being an active part of his life. Watching him grow up, teaching him things, learning him to throw a ball or fix a car. Way to much stuff to miss out on just to let her have her say. And to answer your question directly, yes it would be very good for the baby and you to leave for a while or have her leave for a while. Your son is gonna need you!!!!!
2006-12-06 01:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by shaman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I know it must be hard. Here is my advice to you. Your GF sounds like she is going through Post Partum Depression. This is normal.. some mothers get it.. even mothers that couldnt wait to have a child!!! Here is what I have to say to you. Your GF can take care of herself. This baby cannot!!! You hold tight to that baby.. and do not let go. You are all that he has. I would hate to be in this situation.. and I know that you dont want to.. but if she gives you an ultimatum, choose your son. She will come around if she in fact is suffering from PPD. If your name is on the Birth Certificate, you have just as much right to it than she does. Go to the police dept and/or a lawyer, and let them know what is going on. Tell them what she has said, and ask them what you can do.. DO NOT let go of your son. You should NEVER have to choose... she can take care of herself.. that baby cant!!!
2006-12-06 01:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by WestWife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First i will ask if the baby cries a lot? If he is and she isn't sleeping ect...she may feel very overwhelmed. She may have post-partum depression. This happened to me after the birth of my first son. I didn't want him. I didn;t want to hold him or anything. I went to the doctor and told her and she put my on medication. I was ok in about two-three weeks. Tell her to talk to the doctor if you think that this could be the case.
If she is serious then you need to take the baby and leave. do you think you could live with the woman that gave away your child? don't make that mistake. she isn't worth it. Your baby is nothing but a blessing and you need to hold onto him with everything you have.
2006-12-06 00:55:45 · answer #7 · answered by crystalfaria11306 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all if your name is on the birth certifcate then she cant put him up for adoption without your consent and second it sounds like she might be having the baby blues get her to go to her doctor and talk about her feelings of not wanting the baby and such bc if its the baby blues they can give her medicine that will help some but you will also have to help by being there for her and the baby and helping with things like feeding and changing and getting up at night with the baby until she gets better. If she does just want to get rid of the baby for the sake of getting rid of it then get rid of her instead bc it sounds like you want to be a father so be one take care of your new precious life and dont let anyone change your feelings about that.
2006-12-06 00:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by starrmerlan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do agree with KitKat.
Please, take those steps.
Allow your son to be with you for awhile. See if you can stay with a grandparent or friend who has children to help you out.
As far as her, she could be having postpartum depression that some females have after giving birth. Needs to be treated and not left alone in her full care. Especially if she has no desire for your son and already trying to adopt him out. She can't legally do that and scamming agency could easily take advantage of that.
2006-12-06 04:01:17 · answer #9 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a father now and part of being a father entails doing what is best for your son, whatever the outcome. He deserves to have loving, responsible parents who will take care of him. Get your girlfriend some help, maybe she's going through postpartum depression. As for your son, if you feel she is a threat to him, then maybe it would be best to get him out of that situation. Good luck!
2006-12-06 00:50:39 · answer #10 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋