My ex whom I still have strong feelings for keeps telling me that love has nothing to do with why she refuses to give me another chance. When I ask her what she feels about me, or if she still loves me she tells me that it is none of my business. She also tells me that I need to stop loving her. What should I take from what she says? Another point is that she didn't want to talk to me at all when we first broke up, so I didn't, then she got upset when I ignored her, and now she doesn't want to talk to me again. What does it all mean?
2006-12-06 00:29:18 · 30 answers · asked by Jason N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Me an her were together for almost a year and a half. In the first year, she dumped me three times because we got into arguments, and actually told me that she didn't love me. She later told me she made a mistake all 3 times. Over the past summer we got engaged. I got stressed out and told her maybe we needed to take some time apart. She left the ring and started telling me to move on even though I said it was a mistake. I kissed someone else while we were split up and when she asked me I told her that I hadn't at first because I was scared. When I came clean (within a few days) she told me that I had cheated on her and this whole situation started. I did bother her for a while trying to get her to work it out, but I have reached the point where I don't know what to do. I want her back, but was what I did unforgiveable? Is there any way to get her back?
2006-12-06 07:27:48 · update #1
I think she still loves you but is trying to put some space between you. Once you love someone, you never really stop loving them, it just changes in the kind of love that you feel. She sounds unsure of what she wants which really sucks for you. Try communicating with her in asking her what it is she wants and respect the answer she gives you. If she only wants friendship at this point and you can do that then go with it and see where it goes. If it is meant to be it will be. Good luck!
2006-12-06 00:32:51 · answer #1 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like she's a bit confused to me. She didn't want to speak to you but was upset that you ignored her. She can't have it both ways. Also to say you need to stop loving her is a bit silly. It's not easy to change how you feel about somebody. You don't say why you split up in the first place but perhaps you should let he know that you regret it, but you are ready to move on. Then she will have to make up her mind how she feels about you too. If she doesn't want to give you another chance. Accept it, you don't have much choice after all.
2006-12-06 08:34:31 · answer #2 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women's feeling can sometime be a hard thing to understand. A good example is what you had said about her not wanting to talk to you, so you didn't talk to her. Then she felt like you were ignoring her. I think in that circumstance she did want to talk, but not about how you were feeling or that you still love her, but about how she feels about life. I don't want you to think I'm rude but the reason that she may not want to give you another chance is because you may be to clingy. Give her a chance to get her life to the way she wants it. Go out and enjoy your life. That doesn't mean forget about her, maybe send her a nice (not romantic) Christmas card. And in a few weeks after the tension has calmed down, try giving her a call and see if she wants to hang out.
2006-12-06 08:38:15 · answer #3 · answered by miss_vixen_1985 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have hurt her very deeply.. you said you needed another chance.Sounds as if she was too upset with you to talk to you , then she cooled off and was ready to talk but you never came back to call or try to talk to her. Now she may think you never really cared that much.
I would tell her you are so very sorry. Show her you have changed not just tel her that.
Do you really love her? What ever happened if it was your fault, did you learn ? Will you treat her like you love her?
Since I don't have all the details I can only guess.. good luck
2006-12-06 08:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by truthwalker7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means that you need to move on with your life. I know you have strong feelings for her and everything, but she is clearly telling you to move on with your life because the love is not there anymore. Whatever you two had is obviously gone. She got mad when you ignored her because she wanted you to chase her down. Women do this type of thing because we sometimes want to see how much the guy really cares for us, or how head over heels he's in love with us and so on.... Stop wasting your time and move on. There are too many beautiful, and good women that you could have. Don't stress yourself over one because in the end you'll see how much it wasn't worth it.
2006-12-06 08:40:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't want to be with you but knowing you love her makes her feel bad for that and maybe she has some feeling for you and not talking to her will help her get over you leave her be for a while and if she once again gets mad at you for ignoring her tell her it is her own fault and leave it at that you need to move on and keeping her there will only make it harder on you
2006-12-06 08:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that women are confusing but she means this. When you first broke up she probably thought that time and space from you would help her to get over you and I think she hoped that you would chase after her. When you didn't she was upset.
I think (and please don't quote me on this because it is just thoughts.) that she probably does still love you which is why she says that love has nothing to do with her not giving you another chance. And why she tells you it is none of your business.
However, if a guy behaves in ways that we( women) just cannot tolerate, it is not a woman's lack of love for him that keeps them apart, it is his behaviour that is intolerable. I do not know you and have no idea what you have done. But I am guessing that you hurt her very badly by your insensitivity or lack of understanding towards her. You probably didn't meant to hurt her but men and women are different in their thinking and behaviour. We have to try to understand each other and realise what is meant by their behaviour. For example: A man may love a woman but she thinks he doesn't because he doesn't help her with things that matter to her. She may try to tell him but he doesn't get it. She may then think he is not listening or caring about what she feels and she may even think that he is saying "no I will not budge on this you will have to change". It gets very frustrating and hurts a lot, for a woman to be misunderstood or for her feelings or needs to go unnoticed by her man.
I think if you love her then you need to evaluate your relationship that you had and ask yourself some honest questions. What did she say to you while you where together? She will have told you what she felt but you maybe didn't get it.
She will need to see a change in you for her to ever consider getting back together with you. So I think you need to really think long and hard about what you have behaved like and what she would tell you. You need to change permanently, not just to get this girl back. So you may want to talk to a counsellor or another woman that knows you who can help you.
Please know that even if she will not give you another chance, it is good to get this stuff dealt with anyway, for any future wife. It is all about learning to communicate feelings and to hear feelings from the woman. Men think more than they feel. Women feel more than they think. So a man needs to remember that she is communicating her feelings not her thoughts. It would help if he tried to communicate his feelings more too. Similarly she needs to learn how a man communicates and thinks. But for now just focus on you getting it. Going and telling her how she needs to change is a big no no. If you get back together you can talk lovingly about this without being demanding or accusing.
I hope that you understand what I have told you and that it makes sense to you. Every blessing.
P.S get a copy of men are form mars and women are from venus. It is pretty accurate. You could also try a Christian book called the five love languges by Gary Chapman. You will learn a lot from these books and it will help you immensely, if you are willing to take it on board.
2006-12-06 09:01:22 · answer #7 · answered by JAM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means that, honey, its time to move on.
No matter what you might have done to her, if she cant give you the truth straight foreward, than screw her!
You really want to spend anymore time feeling like this? I doubt that.
the problem is that if someone feels something, that they think it means more than anything they think. you might feel that youre in love but i bet your brain is screaming for you to flee.
Dont waste your time on a person that wont tell you the truth, get rid of her and find someone that is going to treat you fairly.
2006-12-06 08:33:38 · answer #8 · answered by mettophobic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. She obviously doesn't know what she wants. It's up to u, as to how long u are willing to persue someone who seems to continue to mess with your head. Is that the kind of relationship you want to stay in? We can only go on what info u provide us on here and by the sounds of it she seems a bit, "wishy washy". Just something to think about. Hope u find what u're looking for.
2006-12-06 08:36:22 · answer #9 · answered by 7894 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u knwo her betetr than i do...so u should be able to read the signal better than i do...but from my point of view, she do got feelings for u but she may be confused about something that hapened or its going on on her life, that may be the case if she is a nice person....if u see her able to play with somebody's mind....its like not with u but neither without u ....my advice...ignore her...if she messing with ur head that will pissed her off and even get interested on u again....if she is a good girl...that will make her react
good luck and wish u the best
2006-12-06 08:33:42 · answer #10 · answered by spanish-one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋