I have a16 year old daughter that i just found out has been sneaking out at 3 a. m.to meet her boyfriend.?

Question

She only has a learners permit, so she's not even legal, and im not ready to be a grandpa yet. The cops caught her out this morning driving at 3 am. I was at work, but my girlfriend was here when she snuck out, Cop says he saw her out the nite before too...Im leaning toward some big-time tough love. She gets honor roll grades and hasn't been in any real trouble before, She just has puppy love?

Answer 1

Reel her in dad before she ends up in trouble...she could ruin her life very quickly....or end it driving around at that hour....good luck and hope she stays safe and healthy

Answer 2

Puppy love can lead to doggy love, and we all know what that equals. A litter of puppies! You're not overreacting. Group dates for her age is fine but when it comes to sneaking out that late it shows that this guy obvious doesn't respect you, so he's not good for your daughter. If you tell her this it will only drive a wedge between you and your daughter. It's better to install security alarms on the doors and windows and tell her she can date at an appropriate hour. If she protests, tell her repeated times of being out past curfew could land her with juvenile probation. Another good idea, is there's actually an inexpensive system you can install to track where a vehicle is moving. If she tries to remove the system, it will sound off an alarm and someone will call you regarding your daughter's where abouts. It seems a little harsh but this day and age teenagers need help. As a 22 year old that became a mother at the age of 18, I plead with you to take every action necessary. I also was on an advanced academic diploma, made honors, and STILL messed up (although I wouldn't trade my son for anything in the world). I've included links to help you get started in some ideas.

Answer 3

Ask yourself why she's sneaking out at 3am instead of bringing him home. If she's able to keep up with her grades and still handle a social life I'd let her have both. Just make her bring him home so you can meet him and see what he's like. I have a 16 year old sister and she got herself into a lot and she just needed someone to invest the time and caring into her. She's straightened up a little bit and slowly learning that she can't have everything she wants. Part tough love part openness. It'll work if you're open minded enough to know that kids have changed since 2000. I'm only 24 and feel ancient. If mom is available and around try to get her involved. If your daughter feels OK with your girlfriend get her involved. BUT I think the main thing is to find out about the guy she's seeing.

Answer 4

Meeting a boyfriend at 3:00am has more problems then a puppy love. Chances are you daughter is sexual active, and the boy she is meeting does not respect her to put her through this.

Second, you daughter is jeopardizing her like meeting this guy. Guy who are out after 12:00 midnight are doing one or two things, doing drugs, having sex parties or robbing people.

You need to sit down with your daughter and first tell her that you love her. You need to look her straight in the eye with lots of pateince and love and say I love you, I am concerned about you and I don't know what I would do if something happen to you. Nobody can replace you and all I want to do is protect you. I acknowledge that you are growing up and that one day you will find a husband and move away. But my daughter -- Do not date someone that you would not marry. Do not have sex with someone that you do not want to have your kids with These are long tern commitments and you can't take them back to the store.

Watch that 3:00am jerk --- disappear.

Answer 5

OUCH, this is a toughie. I would start out by a heart to heart talk with her Dad. If you forbid her from doing anything that is almost a guarantee that she will. Tell her how much it hurts you that she seems to be going down a path she will regret later. She's not gonna understand now, but at least let her know.
Get her on some form of birth control. You aren't condoning sex, but you are making sure it is not an irreversible choice for her, her b/f, you and any baby that may be conceived if she decides to go against what your wishes are.
Disable the car on her at a certain time of night, removing a spark plug cable works wonders (or if she is not handy, disconnecting the battery!)
Good luck Dad, I hope it all works out.

Answer 6

The first thing I would do is take the car keys so she can't drive the car. I would also inform the boyfriend's parents about what is going on. And yes, you will need to talk to your daughter about birth control and all that goes with it. Does she have a close relatationship with your girlfriend so that maybe they could talk? If she has an older sister that she is close to and trusts, I would let the sister know and maybe she could talk to her as well. I didn't raise any girls; I only had two sons so I didn't go through this. I wish you well and I'm sure you will do the right thing.

Answer 7

if something is not done about this asap her grades will go down. she needs tough love and is probably screaming for attention. you need to be leanient and let her go out and meet with this boy but comprimise. im sure she wants to do the right thing but at the same time is testing how far she can stretch the limits you have set for her. also how well dose she get along with your girlfriend, make sure your girlfriend is playing a friend and role model your daughter does not need a girlfriend posing as a mother telling her what to do. make sure you inforce all of the rules and punnish her, not your girlfriend. i am 19 and i see things from your daughters point of view

Answer 8

FIRST, go to TARGET and get window alarms. They cost $29 for a set of four, they are cheaper than a baby. Not to say she's that stupid to get pregnant, but you don't know what kind of pressure she might be under. You also don't know what kinds of risks she might take for him. SECOND,take the spark plugs out of the car at night. That might make it less convenient for her to just leave, when your sleep. If she's an honor roll girl, it's your job to help her save herself, from herself. Look i'm a father of 4 girls. I stress to them, no man is worth throwing their future away on. The best man you'll ever find will care about your education, and your well being before your body. It's hard to fight against hormones, but keep up the good fight. Talk to her, I'm in no way douting you have, but it's a daily thing to get these young youths of ours to understand what we already know.

Answer 9

First off you have to hide your car keys. Lock her room up so that she cannot get out. I put bells on the windows so I could hear when she was going out. I removed the distributor from my car before I went to sleep. Does her boyfriend have parents? Maybe the both of you should work together here.

Why is she sneaking out? Are you not letting her see him? If they get to have dates, I bet this behavior would stop.

You are going to have to let her see him, and others as well. She needs to be social. Just make it as difficult as possible for her to do it at night. Let her know that you are paying attention.

REWARD her good behavior!!!!

Answer 10

Well, i am 18 and i know that my mom was very hard on me during the times when i feel i should have started dating. Is it possible that you have made her feel guilty about have a significant other, told her that it is wrong? i personally think that parents shouldn't wait until their kids are in college for them to start dating. let them date while they are home. you have more control of the situation, and can see. its called compromising. my mom has done the same with me, and once i finally got out a few times, i never really put myself in compromising situations. i didnt' have to sneak around, i just asked her to go out. i've never snuck out, smoked, gotten drunk (have tasted i'll admit) or had sex....their is a greater respect towards the parents if you work together. dont be too harsh, becuase she may rebel. that would not be good. i know you are a parent, but let me tell you the worst thing is to have a parent push their mistakes on their children. my mom had me at 22 without a husband...and swears im going down the same path...but i'm not, and i dont plan on it. we do listen to you as parents, and we do love you. there is just so much frusteration that you dont understand us. so yes, discipline is necessary. but keep in mind to be understand and sit down and talk to her one on one, and dont get mad or yell or hit her or anything else. just be a loving parent whose hurt, you have the right to be. but dont blame yourself and say "where have i gone wrong" best. of luck to you. i'm sorry you are dealing with this, and this is only the view of an 18 year old....God bless

Answer 11

you should do what you can ,but that's not much.kids will find a way to do the things they want to.maybe speak to his parents.There comes a time when we can't stop what our kids do and they will have to learn the consequences of their choices good and bad.that's part of growing up.you are her teacher and guide through these youthful years,but the choices she makes will make her or break her.I raised five daughters and one god-daughter and believe me at times I didn't even like them,but I always loved them. each made choices in their lives that some regret and some don't,either way they learned that choices are theirs to make.Now all are grown and they always remember the things I told them and those things helped them through hard times with their kids and now they appreciate all that I tried to do .They never understand until they walk in our shoes. Good Luck and always know that all you can do is the best you can and the rest is up to the child.