Penis problems?

Question

My bf and I used to have sex all the time. Then about 2 yrs into the relationship he started having trouble keeping an erection. (He is 28 and I'm 24.) He would feel bad about disappointing me when he couldn't keep it hard. Now he isn't interested in having sex at all. We have sex about once every 6 weeks. I never made fun of him or talked bad about him when he went limp. We think that it might have to do with his job. His job is very stressful and he feels like his whole factory rests on HIS shoulders and it doesn't pay well. Could his job(and money problems) be causing his "limpness" and his lack of enthusiasm? I have tried everything to get him interested.

Answer 1

If a man or a woman has a hard time reaching orgasm, or maintaining arousal long enough, than it may very well be a pyscological problem (which, by the way, takes a lot of spine to ask help for).

Stress is the biggest ruiner of sex. Money problems are a big causer of stress, and now, he so stressed out he cant get it up, which of course makes his stress worse. I suppose i would probably stop going for it too.


First and foremost, you need to address whats bothering him. Ask him how he really feels about his job, tell him that if he wants to leave, you'll support him, help him find a new one if thats the problem.

Chances are, something like viagra is going to offend him. He doesnt have a physical problem, its mostly stress. A therapist can help wonders with that as well (both problems), but its expensive, and not a lot of people are comfortable with the idea.

I might suggest trying more oral sex. Spend some time making it all about him, or try mutual masturbation, watch porn together (the greatest affrodesiac is watching other people having sex). Stay away from vaginal sex, let him work with that on his own time, and keep in mind that men are VERY senstive about problems with the genitals, almost in a vain and childish sort of way, and anything said to offend them, and their penis's, will come off really badly.

Remember, that you have needs too, i know you love him, but if things dont change, and hes not fullfilling your needs, you have to tell him that you have those needs for a reason. You have to keep in mind of what you need and want first and foremost, but its important to stand by your man, and help him through something difficult.


good luck.

Answer 2

I am not a doctor, but I have been married and I can tell you that the biggest sex organ is the thing between your ears. If you feel that you have a problem you do. From a medical standpoint asked your self a couple of questions:
a. Is he overweight - lose 30 gain 1 inch
b. Is he a bodybuilder and he has been using steroids.
c. Is he a candidate for a young heart attack victim and the stress is driving his energy away.
d. Teach him how to meditate to the Alpha Level to cure his stress and to get him in the move.

Now from the Social Part:
a. Is he having an affair and fallen in love with that person, and feels guilt ridden for both you and her.
b. Has he just become asexual and feel sexual is mechanical
c. Is he gay, and just do not desire a woman.

Best bet is to have this conversation with him in a neutral place, because the truth will set you free. Trust that God will get you through this, and if your BF is not the one, I believe that he is sending you someone better.

Answer 3

Stress if one of the biggest factors that can cause problems like this. Stress takes away the motivation and enjoyment becuase his mind is preoccupied with, like you say, work. It's something you should sit down and talk to him about. This is a very touchy subject for a guy. It's a let down if we can't please you. We feel as though we somehow failed. The best thing to do is keep doing what you've been doing. Let him know that you're willing to help in anyway possible. This should be brought to a doctor tough, given his age.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Stress could very well be the cause of this problem, Sounds like he needs a vacation from work.. Maybe he can browse through the want ad's and find something less stressful... Have him mae an appointment to see a doctor, maybe they can prescribe something for his stress. Make sure you let him know you love him no matter what..

Answer 6

I guess you answered the question yourself, stress, worry, tiredness etc are all main factors in lack of erections etc, try and get him to slow down ayt work, we all need the money but if we have no enjoyment when we earn it, then what is the point? If he is really worried he needs to see his GP who can order blood tests etc to see if anything 'odd' is happening.Take some nice weekends away together, anywhere away from home, keep reassuring him of how much you love him, this will pass, honest!!

Answer 7

It certainly can be caused by stress...but it could also be caused by medication or a medical problem...He really should see a doctor to find out the real reason....He is too young to have this problem and not address it....good luck

Answer 8

Sounds more like a testosterone problem but it's no big thing. No pun intended. If his testosterone one is low his sex drive will be too. His doctor can tell with a simple blood test.

Answer 9

Stress could definitely be a big factor. Women deal with the same issues, and it all comes from the same basic sources. Find ways to let him know that there are other ways he satifies you. Ego boosts are huge in helping this out.

Answer 10

Stress affects performance. Also high blood pressure, hormone levels, there really are too many to list.....Have your bf take a Viagra and he'll be pounding your head through the headboard in no time!!