DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No ****
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - *****
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his ****.
2006-12-05 23:23:42 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ROTFLMAO... and this is sooo bloody true:
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his ****.
Still laughing!
Charles "That Cheeky Lad!"
2006-12-05 23:28:21 · answer #1 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but the first 3 items belong in another section. Sociology or something. A joke should be humor, not just stating the facts.
Your "And finally...", funny, really funny.
2006-12-06 00:00:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Male Coyote searching for lady Coyote. must be hungry and enjoy howling your emotions. like to get gnawed on and to gnaw. ought to not be in a hurry yet earnings from the ability of the prompt.
2016-11-30 05:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by broadway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two thumbs up.
2006-12-06 00:39:10 · answer #4 · answered by St Harpy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are killing ourselves laughing over this. He even stopped watching Miss France to read it, well done I couldn't have done that if I stood in front of him nake.....oops wrong. GOOOOODBYYYEEEE!!
Merry Christmas.xx
2006-12-09 09:26:11 · answer #5 · answered by maria bartoninfrance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bloody hilarious the men,s English is spot on nice one for posting it cheers
2006-12-05 23:32:22 · answer #6 · answered by oG33MANo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like, the men's discription describes my hubby to a tee..It was like you knew him...Although you described me too, but we wont go there...FUNNY
2006-12-05 23:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seen it before, but still good.
2006-12-05 23:40:59 · answer #8 · answered by Say It Like You Mean It 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
brilliant, you are the answer to our prayers, you know womans minds so well. where did you learn all this.
2006-12-05 23:34:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hilariously priceless love it can't stop laughing!
2006-12-06 00:56:34 · answer #10 · answered by Myastar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋