My boyfriend lied to me a few months ago about spending time with this girl. Somehow we were able to get back together and work things out. My only stipulation was that he stop contacting the girl. He kept promising that he would, but he still continues to contact her. It's troubling to me because whenever I think about her, I remember that bad period where he was lying to me. However, he says that I'm being unfair by asking him not to contact her. He says that he should be able to be friend with here and I should be okay with it. Is it wrong for me to ask him for this?
2006-12-05 23:20:14 · 10 answers · asked by Natural Beauty 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just want to add, that he does have quite a few other female friends and I'm okay with those friendships. This is the only one that bothers me and it's because he lied to me in the past about here and their relationship.
2006-12-05 23:37:38 · update #1
This guy is not serious and he needs to think twice IE who he values more you or this other girl,because it seems that he is not yet through with this other girl and he does not see the effect on you.You may need to find out if you two will work because if he can't properly detach himself from this other girl then probably you need to leave him alone,love will show itself in other quarters .However think deeply on the effects of such a drastic decision.Bottom line-Don't spend sleepless nights on a guy who doesn't give a damn about your feelings.If he really loved you,he would do everything to make you happy and would not go behind your back and stab you like this by keeping a 'buddy buddy' relationship with his ex.move on baby and show him that you can have a life aside from him.ease up first and be serious about him cutting communication with this other woman for man cannot serve two "masters"(women)at a time
2006-12-05 23:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by papa askofu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and no. why cant they be friends. And why cant you be invited sometimes or why don't you invite her. He is spending alone time with her and therefore giving her the wrong idea, and is she getting the feeling, he is choosing her and you need to deal with it. play both sides. why did he lie in the first place the first time. and making a promise he never meant to keep is a sign there is more than you see. or again he is testing, playing or just doesn't have a clue. Either way, he has shown he is not to be trusted at his word. He doesn't know how to communicated openly and doesn't trust you to share is thoughts or feelings. You show no trust and no self confidence and poor communication by making stipulations. Try finding a solution that works for all. If none, then none it is.Whats more important to the two of you, finding a way or distrusting or nothing .communicate openly, acknowledge each others feeling and do something for each other
2006-12-05 23:42:04 · answer #2 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually no.
Is she a new friend he recently met and he's now decided that she is his new best friend??
If that's the case then he needs to know where to draw the lione.
He needs to stop doing it if you don't like it.
Tell him it hurts you.
I'm sure hurting you is the last thing he'll want to do and if he loves you he wont try to hurt you.
Smother it on him really good and make sure he knows how his actions are hurting you.
And then... after you've reached there you can either do one of two things, insist that you hang out with them when they're together and get to know the girl so that she knows who's the boss.
And if that fails then give homegirl a call and let her know she needs to not be contacting your man so much because you can deal with that.
But before making your case to the girl... make sure its a situation where youir bf wants you and truly wants to make it work.
Honestly,
I wouldn't usually give advice like this but you need to ask yourself if your man is worth the drama.
If he isn't then that takes your relationship to a whole new level.
Sweetie.. you can't seriously be giving 100% when you man is only handing in 85%.
If he dishes 85 then you dish in 85 too and you'll see how he'll change
2006-12-05 23:35:41 · answer #3 · answered by ilyena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from but I was also in a situation like this. My best friend is a guy and he met a girl who didn't understand that we had been friends since birth (our parents are best friends) and we were raised together. He is like a brother to me but sometimes people looking in from the outside assume that it is more because society has most people thinking that men and women cannot be friends without sex being involved. I don't know why he lied to you and if it isn't a sexual relationship you shouldn't expect your boyfriend not to have relationships with other women . It is unrealistic.
2006-12-05 23:28:31 · answer #4 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong at all. He really needs to respect what you're asking because in my opinion, he's still contacting that girl for a reason. You're not being unrealistic at all. If he loved you and respected you, he would've kept his promise. In my opinion (again...lol) You need to let him go because if you letting him get away with still talking to that girl...there's no telling what else it is he might try to get away with..don't be his floor mat. Let him know if he don't stop talking to her, then you leaving...plain and simple. Hope it works out for you baby girl...
2006-12-05 23:26:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
thsi is the problem with relationships when a guy and girl get together the guy almost instantly losses all of his friends that are girls and the girl is the same with her guy friends and when they do try to talk it is seen as cheating and flirting. check things out first before you make false stipulations. i am not saying that your wrong but check it out first, because you may make him lose a friend
2006-12-05 23:26:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's being the selfish one. Ask him how he would feel if it was you talking to a guy all the time that was just your friend. I think you should rethink this relationship if he's not willing to take care of your feelings first. It would be different if it was someone else and not the girl he cheated with. Take care of yourself and make a decsion based on how he makes you feel about yourself. Our partners should make us feel good about ourselves.
2006-12-05 23:24:51 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seriously girlfriend, there is no reason i can think of that he neeeeeeeds to be friends with this girl. the only exceptions in my mind is a. mom b. sisters, c. childhood friend and d. cousins. if he cant give her up he must be getting something from her cause guys just don't NEED to talk lmao. good luck and tell him you or her. =)
2006-12-05 23:27:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to cut him loose and find a REAL man.
2006-12-05 23:23:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him... :D
2006-12-05 23:22:44 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋