How can I help my brother?

Question

He has been looking for a job for a long time now and has had a few interviews but with no success. It's really getting him down and he has lost all confidence in himself. Now he seems to have given up looking for a job at all, just believing that he would never get it anyway. I'm very worried about him but just don't know what to do to help him. I've suggested he go to a confidence building class but he says 'what's the point?'. I'd really appreciate some advice as it's driving our whole family to an early grave...

He is 20, soon to be 21. He studied accountancy at college so is looking for work in that area...not sure that's what he really wants to do though

Answer 1

firstly i would ask him to see his doctor he may have depression, then find out what sort of job he would really like to do maybe he could go to college and learn some more things there that will helpp him get even more qualifications so he has a better chance, make sure he is dressed right for interviews help him out before an interview pretend you are the boss and he has to impress you, just be there for him giving him moral support and hel him look for jobs, there are also places he can go to find help with the looking and get advice as well....

Answer 2

HI, the whole job finding process can really knock some ones confidence especially when they keep getting knock backs, but he has to put it down to experience. As cliche as this sounds if he thinks of the questions he was asked by the interviewer and how he answered those, this should give him an idea of what is happening at the interview. For future interviews think of main strengths he can offer the company i.e team player, reliable, confident, peoples person, friendly, followed by a weakness that can be turned in to a positive ( by either himself or the company ) i.e "no experience in this role, but a quick learner", or for the company - "Just can't say no," the company would think they'd like to take advantage of this.
I suppose this all depends on his age and job history, but if some one can put him together a CV with relevant skills and what he can do this should make him feel a little more like he has something to offer. If he takes a look at local companies and decides what he wants to do with regards to a career or a job, he can send his CV to them asking to keep him on file for future roles.
Ask him to remember that just because he got rejected for a role doesn't mean he was no good for it, it could have been a close call and between him and others. The company might have just picked some one that's done that role before. It's always a good idea to ask for feedback and reasons when declined for a role.

I really hope this helps, and I'm sure he'll get the job he deserves, in time. (sorry it was really long).

Answer 3

You need to tell him that the 'confidence building class' can train him and give him pointers on how to make a job interview successful. The first step in to build his confidence back up because a confident person will succeed at whatever they are attempting and be able to accept defeat in a more positive way. Maybe it is meant to be that he has not found a job yet. What I mean by that is maybe the right job has not come along and that is the reason he has not been chosen to fill a position. Obviously whatever methods he has been using to gain employment are not working and the confidence class seems to be the resort to turn around all the rejections. I hope that he will consider this because it seems at this point he has nothing more to lose. I know how he feels. I chose to go to work in a poultry processing plant as a production worker and advanced in less than 2 years to a management position. I never dreamed in a million years that this would happen. It was one of the best things I ever did was taking that job when all else failed. Good luck to your brother.

Answer 4

Being without work is his choice. There are jobs out there to be had and plenty of them.

He might not find the job he wants at first but one thing for sure is that employers do not like people that are unemployed coming in looking for a job. This is automatically three strikes against you.

He should get a job of any kind even if it is in one of the fast food places. Then go looking for better work. When you are employed and looking for a better job then that helps you get the better job.

I have the feeling that his attitude is a big reason for him not working. If he is able to manage without working then he may not bother to find a job. If he has to go hungry for a while it will sure make him think about doing something.

There is no reason for any abel bodied person to not be working. There are plenty of jobs out there. Many that most of you would not even consider are well paying and actually have more freedom than most of the jobs people have.

There are so many ways to earn money that there is no need to be poor if you have any brains at all.

Answer 5

first , he must have an interest in figures to have done the course, so now, he needs to try for a CA , at university. possible if he got an HND. he may also wish to go over the curriculum of his local further education college and seriously think of a different direction ,if the last one does not attract him anymore. By completing the previous course he has proved that he is capable, he is very young also, at the correct age to be planning a future. He sounds a bit down, like he needs a new scene, there is so much to consider at college, as well as new people, engineering, social work, teaching, banking, at twenty, the sky is blue,more often, not getting a few jobs a disaster, but did he apply for the right ones for him. he has a lot of planning and plotting to do over the holidays LOL

Answer 6

I went through the same thing myself,

get him to register with a handful of the really good employment agencies and check out as many job websites as possible as often as possible.

Also get him to go out more to stuff that doesn't got much, staying in magnifies the problem and makes things seem 10 times worse. What does he like to do, there inexpensive to do almost everything.

And above all, encourage him, don't lecture on all the ways he could do job hunting better but talk as if you believe he is doing everything he can and act as if you believe any day now, he'll have landed the most brilliant job ever.

Answer 7

I can totally sympathise with your problem: I'm jobhunting at the moment and it's really tough going, especially the rejection at interviews. Your brother needs to be concentrating on doing things to show interviewers that he's not just been "sitting around" (we all know that job hunting takes a huge amount of energy, but interviewers will often just see a huge gap between the end of the last job and the day of the interview). I don't know if you're in the UK, but there are plenty of free courses offered by local authorities: IT courses, English courses, Maths, Public Speaking, Foreign Languages...

Your brother needs to keep his chin up and show motivation: there's nothing like being unemployed to make you feel like you're worthless, but somewhere out there will be the right job for him. Extra little bits for his CV, like a course or some voluntary work, will just add that little bit extra to his application.

Best of luck and well done for caring enough to support him!
xx

Answer 8

Has he joined an agency? Get him to do that and they will then look for a job for him.....they have good relationships with big companies and can find him a decent job according to his qualifications.

Apart from that get him to just keep applying, I have been searching for a job for 7months while doing one temporarily...he needs to get himself into a job even if it's not going to be permanent, this way he'll get the joy of having a wage slip and money in the bank back and it will motivate him on the applying front.

Answer 9

You did not mention how old he is, however, if he is unable to find steady employment. Perhaps he would consider taking some classes, just to keep himself busy, or learn a new skills. He may be suffering from depression also. Have him go to the doctor. And most of all tell him do not give up. It will happen. Times are tough. He could even look for another job not in his field just to have something while he is looking for more suitable work. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Hand it all over to God, he has a way of creating something out of nothing. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 10

Look at what his strengths are. Is he a good communicator or artistic? Or is he practical? He needs to look for a job that suits his personality, that way he will be enthusiastic at interview.
If he is really feeling depressed then a visit to the doctors should help.
Maybe he is setting his sights too high. It's one thing to be ambitious but he's got to start somewhere. Once he gets into the habit of working he can take his time looking for a job that suits him.