My boyfriend and I have been together a year. Our sex life has always been sporadic and his explaination was a combination of "saving his energy for sport"(he is a professional) and that "fornication is wrong" -religious reasons.
I dont really understand why he would refuse on religous grounds because we have already had sex out-side of marriage.
My main problem isn't the fact that we dont have sex, its that we dont do other things like kiss passionately -he isn't a 'kisser', or engage in any fondling or anything. BUT, when he is tipsy or drunk he initiates sex!!!!
He rings me ten times a day, is constantly doing nice things for me and spending money on me, although he isn't particularly romantic. He hasn't said he loves me, claiming that actions speak louder than words.... I am an attractive blonde, size 6, I go to the gym, I wax, I shower, I smell nice.
My question is, what do I do to encourage my boyfriend to have more sex and to kiss me??I want to feel loved.
2006-12-05 22:23:48 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well,there r just some guys who actually are straight-minded and are plain boring(sorry to say). Theres no use in hoping for it..
You must initiate. You as the spicy one must help him get interested in intimacy. He maybe the kinda guy who plainly dont know the **** in sexlife so teach him.
Maybe tell him what you want. Make him want you. Sometimes you need to pay more attention on what actually HE likes. Slowly ull get what u like. What turns him on.
Every guy has this ONE weakness which we girls need to findout.when we do, whenevr we do it..he'll get on with it..
So thats what u need to find out...Whats that one thing u do,
that turns him on...
And dear, love is important in sex... if either of u have their love held back... that could also b the problem...
Let it out... be sincere and love with all your heart..
Your heart will tell you what to do and will tell him what u feel...
Good luck
2006-12-05 22:40:24 · answer #1 · answered by kim_stolz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, i think its terrible how he is acting, from what i can gather you are not materialistic, and by the quote " i just want to be loved", tells me that you want more than just diamonds and nice presents.
I would like to say, that even though this is a problem, sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. I can clearly understand your longing for love, i have experienced this myself with a former partner. With a girl being depreciated of it, i think the way to go is put yourself out there, maybe when you are out in public but quite secluded, kiss him on the neck and move your hands up his legs, or sat opposite him at a restaurant use your legs and feet. Another idea is dressing provocativly even if its just at home, some revealing underwear may spark his fire if you know what i mean. The main problem is with him, i doubt you are doing anything wrong, if these methods don't work, i would consider confronting him about it, say that you need loving, im sure he will understand, even if it takes him a while.
And for the record im not gay, even if i do sound it, men can be sensitive and straight, but its a minority most of the time, well at least on the outside. thanks xxx
2006-12-06 06:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by mutated_demon_monkey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you want to go on with a relationship that has no passion? Well it doesn't look like your bf can be passionate.
It is totally up to you. But after a year of not saying I love you and saying actions speak louder than words is a indication to me that he is just using you for meaningless sex. He is a proffesional athlete so are you not just after his title? Maybe he thinks so.
No trust means no freedom of the heart and he can't give his all.
Try get that out of his mind and see then. If that doesn't do the trick drop him and getback in the game.
2006-12-06 06:33:02 · answer #3 · answered by alwyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can encourage sex till the sun goes down, but in the end, is a decision only he can make. It's funny that only after a few drinks does he then consider himself a sexual person. Maybe he's shy, and is hiding behind the *i'm in sports* thing, but maybe more likely, is he just doesn't have the sex-drive that you do my dear. It takes 2 to tango, and if your not a match, your not a match. I wish you well.
2006-12-06 06:29:58 · answer #4 · answered by doug s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u sound like a sex-maniac. u girls should realize that sex or love making involves alot of energy. so if u keep pressing him for more sex, then u are being ungrateful. this is one on e reasons why i left my girlfriend just 5days ago because of her unqenchable desire for sex. she almost drained all my god s given blood and energy. if u cannot respect his decision, then look for another guy but note this...any other guy u may get will also not want to be over-streched sexually. i will advice u to continue with this guy and learn to control urself. good luck.
2006-12-06 08:37:04 · answer #5 · answered by Daniel I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't assume he will change. And it has nothing to do with you. He may have intimacy problems and is using religion and sports to hide behind. There's not much you can do to encourage a person to do something that they really don't want to do in the first place.
2006-12-06 06:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats probably just the way he was raised and taught to show his love and affection, i personally like spend money on a girl and included touching, but maybe you should tell him that you dont feel appreciated enough as a woman and not just as a girlfriend. Let him know what you need and that if you cant have it then tell him you're going to call it quits.
2006-12-06 06:30:15 · answer #7 · answered by Dre 5000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it a relationship or sex your after? Maybe making him a little envious might help. Dress provocatively and flirt with other male friends.
2006-12-06 06:39:01 · answer #8 · answered by Ian J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think maybe he feels inadequate or maybe he is lusting after another woman? If not he might just be masturbating too much. Doesn't sound like you should change anything, this sounds like something he needs to work on. So maybe talk to him about your needs.
2006-12-06 06:27:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jon H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok while you should always respect his wishes, you could try talking to him and tell him your needs, perhaps if he still stands his ground you can come to some agreement, meet each other halfway. about the drinking thing... it soundsdouble standard and seeing as how he doesnt want to have sex, ignore him or try to limit his drinking you could tell him about this. goodluck
2006-12-06 06:33:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋