what do you do if someone is talking about you behind your back at work?

Answer 1

This can be a difficult situation. I've dealt with this many times before, and it used to cause me a lot of anxiety and grief over what was being said about me. In some cases, I was able to figure out what was being discussed. But that didn't allow me to feel better about the issue. Then I realized that whoever said "Ignorance is bliss" was 100% right. I went through employees who report to me as a manager spreading negative opinions about me, and peers of mine doing the same, but on a different topic and level. Now I just blow it off, because I know that I'm on great terms with my bosses and most of my coworkers. Those who gossip in an office environment are the most unreliable and nontrustworthy people out there. So if you stay within circles of co-workers who are positive and do your best to competely ignore and avoid the naysayers, you'd do fine.

Answer 2

It depends on the severity. If it's not terribly severe, try to nicely explain to the perpetrator that you don't feel comfortable at work. If you feel harassed or bullied, you should talk to your boss. Maybe ask your boss to send out a memo not mentioning any names, just asking people to respect each other and refrain from gossiping. Then, if that doesn't work and it's severe, go to Human Resources (or just your boss again if it's a small workplace) and make a full report.

If it's any consolation, I read a recent study (very sorry, but I've forgotten the source) which showed that when a person talks about another, listeners tend to believe those things about the person talking instead of about the person they're talking about. For instance, if Person A says that Person B is dumb, then listeners will think that Person A is dumb. It's like some kind of psychological karma! ;-)

Answer 3

Make it clear when your going to talk about someone, they should have the good manners to make sure the person/s is there and has the chance to speak up for themselves, if the need arises. Other than that your working with coward/s

Answer 4

if its lies let him talk his s*it,cause if its not true.then everyone will see him as nothing but a **** talker,if its something personal.for example like "so and so is a s*ut,blah blah blah".most you can do at that point is talk to one of the higher ups and tell them to do their job,not much you can do really.one thing i usually do if someone is talking **** is be nice to them,as if im a friend throws them off.if its really bugging you,try the above advice that im giving you.or try to make better of it,maybe make a friend,most people come to there senses and realize that they pr*ck to people they didnt want to,and come to find that the person they usually tease is really a good person.best advice i can give you.your most likely gonna want to solve this problem quickly cause,working for about 4 years in total,the people who you work with will have a big impact on how much your gonna like the job.

Answer 5

Depends on severity, on your own personality and position, or whether you have Jedi powers.

1) If severe, but your personality is non-confrontational, you may want to refer the matter to your supervisor.

2) If your personality is strong, you may also want to notify your supervisor first, before confronting the person, so that it is understood that you are acting in self defence. In the confrontation, the structure is as follows:
a) I am informed that you said "xxx" about me
b) If it is true, I want you to know that I feel ( )
c) therefore, please stop doing so or I may have to report to higher ups.

3) If it is not severe, make sure at some point in time your supervisor knows about the person's attitude, but there is no need to confront.

4) Alternatively, you can wave your hand at this person and suggest that he/she goes home and rethinks his/her life :)

Answer 6

Don't worry about it unless they're saying mean or untrue things. Then you should correct them nicely.

Be sure not to jump to conclusions this time of year, they may be planning a Christmas surprise for you!

Answer 7

Unless it is something seriously damaing (i.e. she slept with my husband, stole money from my grandma, ect), just ignore it. Your reaction might add fuel to the fire and keep it going. If teh allegations are serious, confront the accuser. Tell them that what they said is untrue and that it is hurful.

Answer 8

Confront them and ask what the problem is, no matter what the answer is just shake your head and say "sorry, but you have no idea what you are talking about"
Do not argue with them as they would have gotten what they want which is you angry.
When you are told about or hear it yourself just smile, shake your head and walk away.
Be better than them.

Answer 9

/ you can do nothing it is everywhere and in every situation on earth people are always going to gossip it is a release for getting the stress off them it will never end as long as there are people to bad for all of us dont worry about it/ its ok some people just cant function without putting people down they are the miserable souls let them ramble on they are the idiots

Answer 10

Well it's just a matter of knowing yourself. Think about what will it cause you if you entertain those gossips and false words about you. Do not be affected by mere inconveniences...don't mind those people who feel cranky and just destroy others. Stand up for who you are and what you believe. : ) in the end, it is not them who matters, it is you and yourself. Go on with your life and enjoy each moment!