I have average looks and average intelligence. Often, people like me on first impression because I can push myself to be outgoing, confident and charming and occassionally say something bright. The result is that I usually attract people who are both good looking and intelligent (in short, people who are better than me)
But once they really get to know me they find that I'm not as bright or charming as they once thought. It's too stressful to keep up facades. I want to be me, but the real me is uncreative and boring. I don't say this because I'm fishing for pity, I really mean this.
What can I do to stand out and attract those I want, but not set such high expectations for myself?
2006-12-05 19:32:43 · 7 answers · asked by crazygalbruno 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
duy! gimee a freakin' break!
if you're as attractive as you are intelligent, then you're pretty attractive.
man, you just gotta figure out how to stop selling yourself short, is all!!
need to work on your esteem issues. you're obviously very intelligent by how you express yourself. nobody uses paranthesis, complete sentences, correct spelling, and separate paragraphs around here.
2006-12-05 19:37:12 · answer #1 · answered by Wyatt B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You speak for a lot of us. My experience is that the facades are not worth their trouble. Try to find people who like what you do, groups that have people that are more sincere, not looking on your outward appearance but trying to get to know you. Forget trying to impress people. That is not what will make you happy in the long run. Think more highly of yourself because you are unique without really trying. We all are. Give it time, spread yourself out by joining groups of people you might find at church, through the creative pages of the newspaper, etc.
2006-12-05 19:38:53 · answer #2 · answered by desertflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. Have confidence in yourself. What you think is average about yourself may not seem average to other people. No need to place others on a pedestal. If you're creative enough to create facades, you can be creative enough to be content with yourself and stand out by feeling comfortable in your own shoes. Strike common ground that is genuine.
2006-12-05 19:39:18 · answer #3 · answered by That Mtn Ir 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am curious, if you focus on setting yourself up for these kinds of relationships, why do you pretend at first to be this person you are not? That in itself answers your question. Be yourself first and then you won't have these problems.
2006-12-05 19:39:14 · answer #4 · answered by nasturtium41 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't change and don't try to alter yourself to stand out. The one who is truly worthy of your time will find the most ordinary things about you (in your opinion), to be extraordinary.
2006-12-05 19:52:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a risk.
and plus, if you seem to have the average looks and intelligence, there must be somethinnng about you that triggers that thought and is actually true, right? so u may as well be.
but if thats not it, you may be paranoid..
2006-12-05 19:36:47 · answer #6 · answered by indecisive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALWAYS just be yourself!!
2006-12-05 19:36:14 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋