With her ex-husband being very difficult and unreasonable when it comes to their child. He can not compromise and wants everything his own way even if it is not in the best interests of the child. He disregards what the child actually wants to do!
Is this Hostile Aggressive Parenting??
Does he have the signs?
How do you prove that it is happening??Apart from keeping a log of events?
How to deal with it best?
Has anybody else encountered this??
2006-12-05 19:29:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
erm smuffwhateveryanameis.... i am not getting involved i am merely asking....i think children should come first, but what is happening is detremental to the childs life!!! I too am a parent but i have never experienced or know anyone else who has this kind of thing.
2006-12-05 19:41:06 · update #1
i went through this with my ex husband all she can do is keep a log of any texts,phone calls etc keep a diary when he visits that kind of thing.If shes in any way concerned for the child then she can restrict or stop access ,although that should be the last option,until a court makes an order.To go through the court process they,d both need to go through mediation.The best thing to do would be to go back to the solicitor that dealt with her divorce and voice her concerns.As the childs main carer her views and concerns will be noted but its unlikely accsess will ever be stopped unless he choose to do so himself.I suppose the main question is are his fathering skills ok and does he treat the child well.If yes to both couldnt they find a middle person to deal with the visiting so that they could avoid seeing each other?Good luck to her its really hard and very stressful i know x
2006-12-05 19:47:39 · answer #1 · answered by Nellynoo 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As always there is only one side of the story, so how anyone can comment on this particular situation is impossible.
What's to say your sister is being reasonable? Most parents have to disregard what the child wants to do, it's part of parenting. My kids would be eating bags of Haribo and pizza for breakfast and staying off school to play football or play on their PS2 if they did what they wanted to do.
Marriage break-ups are a difficult time for all parties involved, and seldom are either party objective and emotionally detatched from the situation of separation when making decisions. What they need to do is agree to talk to someone who deals with this type of situation professionally as opposed to seek amatuer help or opinion which is almost always divided into, 'she's being an awkward *****' and 'all men are b@stards'.
And I know I am not really in any position to give advice myself, but if the childs development is the priority of both parents they have to seek expert advice, not lip service from strangers.
2006-12-05 22:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by PvteFrazer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you and your sister are that concerned that the child is suffering then i suggest she goes and sees a layer, they will know the right channels to go through and her ex husband will have to cooperate with the demands that your sister makes if he wants contact, the court will look in to it and their decision will be for the child's best interests not your sisters or her ex hubby's, they will talk to the child and find out what they want, but keeping a log of events and things is a good idea to the more evidence of his unreasonable behaviour the better plus if he sends her nasty texts she should save them as proof...good luck
2006-12-05 22:33:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh dear my friend had this but her ex doesn't want anything to do with HIS kids has not paid a penny for over 2 years, she is playing cool so that when the divorce is thou she can claim for what is rightfully the kids money but as she is keeping her cool her lawyer is way there with her.
your sis needs to take notes, keep phone messages (my friend did this as he started abusive phone calls) and present it all to her lawyer if he is that much of a P in the A then the lawyer can set up a visiting order with set limitations that suit your sister and the kids.
she must remain calm thou i know it must be hard but if she starts jumping up and down and throwing her dolly out the pram then he can use that against her.
hope all goes well for her and the kids, good luck x
2006-12-05 20:43:06 · answer #4 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a shame when children get caught in the middle of parental backlash. Look There isn't much that can be done, OK so he isn't thinking of his kid all the time when making decisions, some times that's best you know. He isn't abusing the child is he? And fathers these days get such a bad rep.
2006-12-05 20:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by ANTJOHN 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This problem is not your concern and something that your sister must deal with. This is her ex-husband and he is the father of her child. Getting involved in this matter would create more problems for your sister. She must be responsible and handle the problem on her own or through her lawyer.
2006-12-05 19:33:42 · answer #6 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Get a good solicitor or lawyer or whatever you call them in your part of the world.
2006-12-05 19:39:24 · answer #7 · answered by Orla C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
get the best attorney...kid comes first
2006-12-05 19:31:48 · answer #8 · answered by serengeti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i totally agree with nells..
2006-12-05 21:27:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋