this guy..that i was involvedd with..me and him did stuff together.we even had sex..and he still contacts me and talks sweetly and romantically with me...and even said he was thinking to go long term with me..so i guess he likes me..but i found out he is trying to look for other chicks...in his CASTE..(as we r indian)..for MARRIAGE..he is also trying to get to know others.from his own religion..and flirting around w. them..and possibly marry them..why is he doing that if he likes me..How can he do that.>PLS TELL ME WHAT SHUD I THINK N WHAT SHUD I DO? SHUD I CONFRONT HIM? n be like why da hell r u wasting my time if ur gona look for other chiks?? M i over reacting? or IS HE WRONG?..ths all I want to know..JUST ANSWER THAT N ADVISE ON WHT TO DO PLS!!! isnt he soo wrong?!! n how i know is cuz i like him so much that i made a fake id and tested him to c how he was..n he was really flirty and stuff....:(((( what shud i doo pls advice me..!
2006-12-05 19:26:34 · 17 answers · asked by sneha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and pls tell me, how should i COnfront him, what should i say To him?? I dont wanna directly be like why r u lukin for brides cuz then he will be like how did u know...So wat shud i say???
2006-12-05 19:27:25 · update #1
Just move on and ignore him...
2006-12-05 19:40:20 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, is it so important for you to be right?... you know you are right because you have given him so much, you are invested in this relationship, and the rewards are just not happening.
I can understand your anger. Don't know how you found out all this, but it may have added to your anger. Try to sit him down and just ask him, calmly, what it is that he wants from your relationship and if it is true that he is looking for a girl from his caste that he can marry. Until you have the facts, not the suspicions, you cannot really know. Most guys are flirtatious - it's built into them. Until you tell them you are uncomfortable, they do not in some instances realise it is wrong. It's this in-built thing, especially if it is online and if they think they will never really see the person..
If you wish for a long term relationship with him or anyone else, the first rule is to not play games, but rather to ask straight out what it is the person wants.. sometimes they are able to say, and sometimes they are not, and you can figure it out together. Don't let people fuel your anger - when you're at the bottom of the well you do NOT need company - you need a rope to pull you out. Here's the rope - talk to him, with the integrity YOU have, not the integrity you think he doesn't have. That way you retain your self-respect and you get the answers you need. Only then can you "deal" with whatever the reply is.
2006-12-05 19:35:57 · answer #2 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you heard of the carrot and the stick?
Unfortunately the sweet talk it to get what he wants, and to make you give it by thinking you will get what you want if you do.
Dump him, don't confront him, just walk away.
If you are both Muslim, what you are doing is a violation of your religion anyway, so it should not be too hard to just say no, I won't do that anymore, there is a stronger power than you saying I shouldn't.
I'm sorry hon, but he is baiting and switching because he can. Get out now and find someone good for you.
Good luck!
2006-12-05 19:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is premarital sex forbidden? Are you in his caste? These questions need to be answered first before you can decide if its just something in your cultural. If you answer these questions and find that it has nothing to do with your current state, move on to someone else. He sounds like a jerk either way. But some cultural frown upon the actions that you guys took together.
2006-12-05 19:33:04 · answer #4 · answered by nasturtium41 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that is a hard one!! because if your a muslim if he is. he can marry more than 1 person which i dnt agree with anyway but he is playing you dnt waste ur time there is plenty of men out there dip urself in choclate n throw urself to the gays dont waste ur time on him only if he really does want you 1 way to find out ask him tell him u are not gonna get messed about cuz u kno u can go and find another man good luck!!!!!
2006-12-05 19:32:25 · answer #5 · answered by tootytoon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay like this guy is STRAIGHT up a player!!! Once a PLayer always a player!! So like I would just drop him!!! I mean even if he were to ask you to marry him and you did could you ever really trust him?? I mean he will prolly be all cheating on you...He is WRONG. You can do better than that!!! Don't waste your time with this loser!!! and you can rest Assured that whomever he ends up marrying will be treated like crap cuz he prolly won'r be true to her at all!! Good luck girl!!!
2006-12-05 19:32:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why you shouldn't sex till marriage or at the very least till you are in a relationship and love them and you know for a fact they love you the same. What happened here is because you had sex YOU got attached, HE got a booty call. Unless you are engaged or in a serious relationship or married, he has every right to talk to other girls as you have every right to talk to other guys. My opinion is dump him, date a lot of guys to find out who you want to marry and do not have sex until you at the very least love eachother with all your heart. you cant's get mad at him, that's how most guys are.
2006-12-05 19:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by serena3116 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your goal with this guy? Marriage, long-term relationship, what? What do YOU want? Ask yourself that. Then if you know what you want, discuss this with him. If he really likes you, he should not be disrespecting you like that. If he does not posses the traits you are looking for, then find another who does. You shouldn't try so hard to have someone love you. Someone should love you for who you are. It is a great thing to just be yourself and someone loving you for it!
2006-12-05 19:40:33 · answer #8 · answered by kwest 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him outright what he wants
if he wants u then he should stop
if he wants to continue looking... tell him sweetly that you cannot be with him until he has made up his mind... DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ELSE... then smile at him again and LEAVEEEEEEEE
if he loves u... he will be back within 3 days and be yours forever... if not he will be gone...
so either way it is a win win situation for u... you get to have all of his heart or you get to move on :)
hope it helps
2006-12-05 19:31:26 · answer #9 · answered by sperio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so..he says that he likes you...and he said that he was going to go long term..AND HE STILL FLIRTING WITH OTHER GIRLS!!!!! i have a similar problem with my bf. when i talked to him..he got better. if i were you i would either A.Lose the guy or B. talk to him and if he doesnt change than drop him. seriously.so if i got it right than you guys are indian?? thats so cool... but isnt it the custom(im guessing..dnt knoe for sure) that the groom can have more than one bride. isnt that called pologimy(sp)??? sounds like ur n deep ****...well hope this helps u think clearer..add me if u want more details
2006-12-05 19:37:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you deserve better. Men are pigs. Do not let him know how much you are hurting, play strong and move on. Leave him alone and go your way, he will not be any better even if you marry him. Go out there and you will get someone you deserve. All the best and you go girl!! Strong!
2006-12-05 21:10:04 · answer #11 · answered by pretty1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋