What is your Favorite Christian Joke?

Question

Mine is:


Sign on the tomb of an Atheist:


"Here lies an Atheist. All dressed up and no place to go."
...an athiest is a man who has no invisible means of support...lol...

what is your favorite Christian Joke?

Answer 1

Honk If You Love Jesus

Answer 2

Jack is doing very badly in school. He slacks off, plays video games, never does his homework. Frustrated, his mom pulls him out of his regular school and puts him in catholic school. The first day after school Jack rushes home, runs in his bedroom - SLAMS the door and does his homework. Mom is stunned. The next day, the same thing. On it goes all semester.

The mom goes into the school for parent-teacher conference. Jack has all A's. She asks the nuns "what did you do? Threaten him?" No, they assure her. He's just a very good student.

Puzzled, mom returns and calls Jack to her. "I'm so happy with your report card, but WHY the change in attitude?" Jack says "Well, the first day when I went to school, I KNEW they weren't kidding around because right on the wall they have a guy nailed to a plus sign."

Answer 3

it quite is a competent one, My trendy replaced into an old couple walking by a circus replaced into returned in the days whilst had people who might fly you for a value in a Bi-airplane. The old guy observed it his eyes have been given huge he had consistently had to fly! however the cost replaced into $25 he appeared at his spouse she pronounced to him $25 is $25 so they stored walking this went on 3 hundred and sixty 5 days after 3 hundred and sixty 5 days The mans eyes might consistently get super yet his spouse might say the comparable element 25 funds is 25 funds..one 3 hundred and sixty 5 days the pilot having considered them persistently finding instructed them hear human beings I relatively have considered you come by right here 3 hundred and sixty 5 days after 3 hundred and sixty 5 days yet no longer fly, I inform you what i visit take you up and not can charge you something,only one concern,they have been the two keen in anticipation What something! The pilot pronounced "you may no longer yell or say something in the process the flight or you will could pay" They agreed. They took off and the pilot basically wrung them out he did loop da loop and barrell rolls etc...etc no longer a valid got here from the returned inspired the pilot did extra speedier greater no longer a peep from the returned. ultimately he gave up and went in and landed completely inspired in how properly that they had performed he climbed out of cockpit right down to floor The old guy replaced into mountain climbing out of the rear cockpit hit the floor yet no spouse the Pilot waited and waited nevertheless no spouse. ultimately he asked the old guy "the place is your spouse!" the old guy exclaimed "She fell out on the 1st loop da loop" Pilot pronounced ":why didnt you're saying some thing the old guy didnt bat an eyebrow he pronounced"25 funds is 25 funds!.

Answer 4

Tammi Faye Bakker.

Answer 5

those aren't christian jokes!
There was a hugestorm with a flood, everyone told John to get to higher ground but he just said, No, God will save me. The flood came up to his porch, and some men came by in a canoe and said get in, John, we'll help you get to higher ground. John just said no, God will save me, The flood came halfway up his first floor, a mortor boat came by and the driver said John get in the boat before you Die. John said God will save me. The flood was now up to the second floor and the coast gard came by in their cutter and ordered him into the boat, John again insisted God would save him. Finally when the flood was just below thepeak of roof of his house a helicopter came to get him. No John insisted God would save him. The next day John was dead and met God. Angrily he shouted, I believed! Why didn't you save me!? John,. God answered quietly, I sent a canoe, two boats and a helicopter.

Answer 6

3 priests needed tickets to Pittsburg.The ticket taker was a buxom young lady wearing a very tight sweater. The youngest priest said he wld get the tickets. So he went to ticket taker & said: "Miss, I want 3 tickets to Tittsburg." Embarassed he returned to the other priests & said he couldn't get the tickets. Priest #2 says: "Miss, I want 3 tickets to Pittsburg & I want my change in nipples & dimes." He was more embarassed than Priest #2. So, finally, the eldest priest said he wld get the tickets. He says, "Miss, I want 3 tickets to Pittsburg & I want my change in nickels & dimes. But, young lady," he said sternly, "when you get to Heaven, St. Finger is going to shake his peter at you."

Answer 7

the preachers text was "truly i come quickly"

so he announced it sunday morning, and then realised that
his notes were missing...
so he kept repeating that again and again to buy time to search in the pulpit
while doing so, he accidentally tipped the pulpit and fell into a lady's lap (pulpit and all).

so the lady says: "I should have known, after he said that the third time"

ha ha ha....

Answer 8

Q; What is the last thing Lot said to his wife?
A. Honey, can you see the house from here??

Answer 9

My favorit is an oldie:

"I know God has a sense of humor - He created you, and He hasn't stopped laughing yet!"

LOL & LOL

Answer 10

once there were three men walking down the crossroads on a hot summer day.there was the polock man,the englishman,and the black man.they all were looking for a place to spend the night.they come across this house with a farm and garden out on it.they knock on the door and a preacher opens it.(little man)"may i help you gentlemen?"the polockman says,"yeah,we need a place to stay the night and so we can get some rest.we been walking for a long time."the preacher says,"well,yes u can,but two of u is going to have to sleep in the guest room and one of u can sleep out in the barn."the polock man says,"well,i can sleep out in the barn sir.that will be fine."the preacher nods his head and they all go to sleep.about an hour later,the preacher hears a knock on the door.he goes to open the door and there stood the polockman saying,"sir,i cant sleep in there,there's a cow in there.i dont wanna sleep with no cow!"the preacherman says,"well,i cant help that."so the englishman says,"well,i'll go out and sleep in the barn.I aint afraid of no cow."SO the preacherman nods his head and they all go to bed.the englishman goes to bed.about an hour later the preacherman hears a knock on the door,he goes to open it and there stood the englishman."mister,i know that cow is in the barn,but i cant sleep with no darn pig!"the preacherman says,"well,i cant help that son.that pig is just old and rugged and she is pregnant so thats why i have to keep her in the barn."the englishman looks at the preacher and says,"well,i aint sleeping with no durn pig!"so the blackman says,"yo!preacerman!i'll stay in the barn for the night!"i aint afraid of no cow and pig!"so the preacherman nods his head and everybody goes back to bed,preacherman goes to bed and the blackman goes to the barn.next thing you know it,the preacherman hears another knock on the door.this time he is getting angry for all of the three men coming back to him complaining about his farm animals and saying they cant sleep with them.he thinks to himself,"if that black man says the same thing about my donkey im gonna kick all of them out this time."I'm tired of this."the preacherman says to himself.so he goes to open the door,and he opens it,and much to his surprise there stands the COW AND THE PIG!
this joke was told to me by my father long time ago and i still love it today! lmfao@the cow and the pig standing at the door!
The Morrigan)O(

Answer 11

Christian historical ignorance of the origins of their own church. If they knew, they wouldn't be Christians anymore.