Ive been with my BF for 2 years he has a child. How do i deal with this his son does not respect me at all.?

Question

I dont have any children I feel like why should i deal with kids when i dont have any of my own. I also feel like he is trying to put his son on me like its my responsibity. It is really tearing our realtionship apart because his son doesnt listen doesnt respect me,name calls me, likes to beat on my dog , and is extreamly bratty, why should I deal with this baggage anyone out here can relate or any advice to what I should do???

Answer 1

If you cant deal with the kid, you wont be able to make this realtionship work. DO NOT ASK HIM TO PICK YOU OVER THE CHILD. All this world needs is more screwed up kids. Tell him how you feel about his child, and if you cant deal with it, hit the road.

Answer 2

There's a strong possibility that his child his picking up your frustration and attitude. Children can sense how the adults in their life relate to them, events, changes, etc. How you deal with the situation will give the child a model of how he should deal with the situation.

If his son is over the age of 4-5, it is very difficult to introduce a new motherly figure in his life. Especially someone else who is there to discipline that is not his mother or father.

If you are serious about the relationship with your boyfriend, then you MUST make changes in the relationship with his son. Try being there on a friend level first. When he calls you names, explain to him that it really hurts your feelings and that you would love to be his friend. Ask him how he is feeling and what you can do to make this an easy transition of you both. Kids are very open and honest and odds are he'll tell you exactly what he is feeling.

Most important, you must get over the fact that he is not your child. When you decided to date the man, you "date" the son as well.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Sounds like there's more than one issue going on. If your BF is okay with you disciplining his son, but you don't want that responsibility, I would tell him. However, if you plan on marrying this fella, the sooner you become a parental figure the better for all of you. The child could realize that you really don't want to have to be in charge, which would lead towards more aggressive/bratty behavior and the lack of respect. If you are serious about this fella, realize it's a package deal (he comes with the son, you can't just have him) and that you will need to deal with the kid even if you aren't the main "parent"

Answer 4

If you are in a relationship with this man then you have the right to descipline his child. I'm not sure of the sons age but you need to find an appropriate technique for him. You also need to talk to your boyfriend. He may not know how you feel and if he does know then you shouldn't be with him if he can't respect you and how you are being treated. You and him need to sit down with the boy and lay out rules and consequences for breaking those rules and make sure you follow through everytime. There is a book called "1-2-3 Magic" it works for children up to around 10 years old. But you have to be very consistent.

Answer 5

Attachment isn't the phrase right here. Your husband certainly has a obstacle. I am now not seeking to be imply however this sounds identical in a option to the film Stepbrothers. Fortunately nonetheless your husband is financially impartial. When you met your husband at 35 he used to be already very set in his approaches. The proven fact that he lived at house along with his mothers and fathers and purchased them this kind of exceptional apartment that he can not purchase his possess is obvious proof that he has a quality devotion to his mothers and fathers. I don't propose for divorce and also you married him like this for this reason I advocate you as a grown lady to discover matters to do except going to his mother or father's everyday. Also call for, very strongly, withold matters should you have got to, that you just and your husband spend the weekends with simply you 2 going out and doing matters in combination setting up YOUR marital dating and now not obsessing over his mother or father's and their lifestyles. Get yourself a few peers and pursuits and give up going to their apartment every day!!!!!!!

Answer 6

First of all is he doing anything to punish his child for acting inappropriately? Secondly, you should talk to your BF about how he would feel if you stepped up. As with adults, children will not treat you with respect if you allow it to happen. You have to step up and punish him/her when necessary. Don't be a push over or a door mat for the child.

Answer 7

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN THE WRONG IF YOU CAN NOT HANDLE THIS CHILD THEN EXIT BECAUSE THAT CHILD WAS IN HIS LIFE FIRST AND DOES NOT NEED YOU TREATING HIM BAD AS FOR THE CHILD HE NEEDS DISCIPLINE FROM THE FATHER HE NEEDS TO PUT HIM IN TIMEOUT WHEN HE IS BEATING THE DOG AND OTHER INCIDENTS HIS BEHAVIOR IS WRONG.
ALSO TELL YOU MAN YOU ARE NOT THE MOMMA AND WILL NOT ACT LIKE IT TAKE THE CHILD WITH HIM WHEN HE LEAVES OR WHAT NOT.

Answer 8

He doesn't respect you because you take away the time his father SHOULD be spending with him. I recommend you leave this situation, advise him not to get involved with anyone until his son is raised. For you this can only get worse.

Answer 9

Don't try to be his mom, he already has one and you are just the one screwing his dad. You have to put yourself in the position of best friend and be a role model.

Answer 10

maybe it's time for you to leave. his child is part of his life so if your with him you have to accept his child. i don't blame you for being upset. sorry. follow your heart lady and good luck