Should I walk with him in the wedding?

Question

I AM GETTING MARRIED IN A FEW WEEKS I AM HAVING A HARD DECSION WEATHER OR NOT TO LET MY DAD WALK ME DOWN. LONG STORY SHORT HE HAS REALLY NEVER BEEN THERE FOR ME SINCE I WAS A CHILD AND HE ACTS AS IF HE CARE BUT HE NEVER CALLS OR EVEN CHECKS TO SEE IF I AM STILL BREATHING I COULD BE DEAD FOR ALL HE KNOWS. I THINK THAT I WANT HIM TO WALK BECAUSE I KNOW HOW PRIDE IN MEN CAN GET THE BEST OF THEM SO I REALLY DON'T WANT TO MAKE THE DAY BAD. please only comment if it is civilized I am so tired of these crazy totally random responses filled with stupidity

Answer 1

You are the bride so you will have to make the move to say "Yes" or "No". Ask yourself how you will feel after the wedding. The bottom line is you have to be happy. It is your day. You own it. Best to you.

Answer 2

I'm not making excuses for him...well, maybe I kind of am. I know sometimes it's hard for men to really express their feelings. Do you believe he loves you? Do you believe he cares? You seem to indicate he does.

Now that you're an adult, it's expected that you will have an equal part in how the relationship is between you and your dad. If you want to build something with him, and have your relationship be closer, I think you need to take a step back and try to see things through his eyes. Maybe he's a jerk. Maybe he didn't feel comfortable coming around. Maybe he didn't feel welcome.

Don't look to punish him...you'll only punish yourself. Try to understand. If he's a selfish jerk and someone else deserves the honor of walking you down the aisle, then so be it. If maybe he was just human, well...we all make mistakes.

There's often so much more to the picture than we ever realize. We as humans, especially as women, are quick to judge. Sit down and talk to him about it. Maybe he has no idea how you really feel.

(I'm assuming you're not a parent yet, but when you are, I can assure you that you'll make plenty of mistakes and have many regrets. We all do.)

Good luck and congrats on the marriage. I do hope this will be helpful to you.

Answer 3

I don't know. This is a terribly personal question I think. If you feel that there is a man you know who played a bigger role in your life or childhood then I personally would probably pick him instead. You should choose the person that means the most to you to give you away I think. It's supposed to be a signal that you're moving from your families arms into the arms of your husband. If you don't really feel that your father is "family" then maybe he shouldn't give you away. Also keep in mind that you don't have to walk with a man. If you mother was the only one who was really there for you when you needed then by all means have her give you away. Anything you decide is right...because it's YOUR wedding! Good luck with the decision and Tons of good wishes and blessings on your wedding.

Answer 4

You are an adult, and can make the decision for your self to have him walk you down or not. He should not make you feel bad, if you don't want to be walked down by your dad.
Please think about this thought. This is a one and only chance for your dad to walk you down the isle. You may make up later, and regret your choice. What about the future family you may have? When they look at wedding pictures, won't they wonder what happen to grandpa? What if this was your husband and kids having this problem, would you not want them to forgive your husband for this important day.
It is really not good for you to harbor resentment, this can affect the soul. It is unhealthy. Tell your dad you are giving him a second chance to change. He must try to make amends with you. You will feel happier in the long run, if your dad walks you down the isle. I really hope he listens to your honest, heart felt plea's. If you talk to him about what you expect out of him on the wedding day, this will help relieve stress. Please do so in a loving way, so he will reciprocate a good attitude at the wedding.
Talk to your husband to be about this, he should be involved in this, being the future head of your family.

Answer 5

If he wasn't there for you and never truly kept you as his daughter, then he really has no right to "give you away". I think if there was another male in your life that was truly a father figure for you then let him do it. But seems like you have stood on your own for a while now, so why not just walk alone. However, I do think you should tell him why you are or are not choosing to walk with him before it happens, this way you can at least improve your relationship with him in the future for your future kids, if at all possible. Congratulations on your wedding!!!

Answer 6

The decision is really all up to you in the end. Dont do anything that wont make YOU happy.Think about your feelings. If he hasnt been there for you and doesnt ever call you its still a hard decision to make because he IS your father, This isnt something that anyone else can really answer for you. Just sit down and think long and hard about it. The decision is all yours.

Answer 7

well that decision is totally up to you. just remember a wedding only happens once so if u make the wrong choice..there's no second chances. has he hinted that he'd like to walk you down the aisle? is there any other special man who would make you feel more comfortable? i would encourage u however to remember all the special times you did have with your dad and think that this could ossibly be a stepping stone to mending your relationship. just think really hard and be greatful that your dad is still alive and well if you make the decision to allow him to walk you down the aisle...i will never have that chance...good luck

Answer 8

It is your day and it's totally alright not to walk with him, but maybe your pride is the only reason you are even questioning this situation. I also think if you had a step-father who raised you maybe he would be best choice. One day you will get over your hard feelings for your dad I know I did mine. He will have to answer for his actions, so don't get caught up in a malicious circle of tit for tat it will only harm you, because if he is that selfish he hasn't lost a minutes sleep and neither should you.

Answer 9

I was working at a wedding where the father of the bride walked her down the isle. I found out it was the first time they had seen eachother in 12 years! Maybe it would help him to feel closer to you?

Answer 10

Well you should have a serious talk with him so you can let him know how your feeling. Ask him questions that you have always wanted to know such as why wasnt he there for you? Then make your decision. Also ask him why should he walk you down the aisle?

Answer 11

And how would walking down the aisle with a man you feel neglected by improve your wedding? His pride is not your problem.