Having Problems With My Fiance's Family?

Question

I'm going to see my fiance in 4 weeks with our daughter who is only 14 days old as of today...The problem is that I DO NOT get along with anyone in his family AT ALL!!! They don't like me and I don't like them, and I've tried to make amends with them several times and it has only backfired evry single time I've tried. Now my Fiance wants to go out on a date or two with me when I go up to see him with our daughter, but he doesnt want to take her along because he said that he is going to take me to places where we could possibly get kicked out because of a screaming baby, and he wants me to leave my daughter with his family while we go out!! I feel like since they don't like or respect me, they're going to do the same to my daughter and I feel really unsafe about leaving her with them yet my Fiance told me that its okay...I just want to know how I should deal woth this situation and how I can reasonablly comprimise with my Fiance about this issue. Anyone with suggestions, write back.

Answer 1

Tell him to make other plans so you, him and the baby can go...Do not leave your baby with anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable...

Answer 2

First of all, speaking from experience, a baby can do wonders for a broken down family relationship. You are going to have to learn compromise if you marry this guy anyway. Its best to go into this with a positive attitude. So his parents don't really like you. That doesn't mean that his parents will not love the baby. I would hope that you know that no one can turn a baby against its mother, if not for good reason. Go with your heart and use your head. You are a mother now. You have a part of your fiance and what grandmother could not love its own fresh and blood. Please be patient. Things will work out for the best. But should the baby present more problems talk to your fiance about it and come to a compromise. Good luck.

Answer 3

You can try explaining to your fiancee how you feel about his family, quoting the times you have tried to make peace with them. But you must also remember that in alot of cases, babies heal rifts that otherwise would never be fixed. I am sure that your fiancee would not leave his daughter with ANYONE who he thought would harm her! If he trusts his family (and bear in mind that HE loves them, and they love him) tell him of your concerns, but that you are willing to give it a try. Just think, he may not like your whole family either. We don't choose our families in law, only the ones we choose to fall in love with. There are no guarantees as to what the family is gonna be like! You never know, your daughter may bring you closer to his family! Otherwise, you can put your foot down, and insist on doing things that you can include your daughter. She IS rather young to be leaving with strangers (to her), and you can use that excuse. Or ask him to postpone his arrangements until she is a little older, or tell him you had already promised your Mom or someone that THEY could look after her this time, and suggest that next time his family can babysit.

Answer 4

All I can say is, I can't stand my son's girlfriend, but I love my granddaughter very much. And because I love her, I never say anything in front of her about her mother that is disrespectful. When I do get to see her, we spend our time playing and having fun. Just because the rest of the family do not like you, I'm sure they love your baby very much because they love her father. Of course you are the only one who knows what kind of people they are. If you strongly feel they would be a bad influence on your daughter, you probably better not marry her dad, because when you marry him, you marry his family.

Answer 5

Why did you married this guy in the first place when you couldn't get along with his family?Getting married is not only about love or lust.It's sharing your life/family with somebody new.Bringing up children together.But anyhow now it's done and in the past.And since you to want to spend more time together alone means that you love each other.I don't think that your husband's family are barbarians!If you leave the child to them they would be Idiots to harm your baby.For God's sake!!Are theyTHAT stupid?!?!?!

Answer 6

You cant please all and sundry. concentration your power on the nephews that such as you (they are worth it sluggish). Be polite to the others, yet attempt to no longer enable them to upset you too plenty. you're marrying him no longer his family. optimistically they're going to at last settle for you, if no longer-a minimum of you have a loving supportive better half (that's the substantial element). do no longer enable THE family upset YOU OR intervene along with your relationship, element's will artwork out of their very own time (basically be as open as you may, your better half will savour it). I used be engaged and we had 2 infants mutually. His family have been genuine close, yet all hated me and the youngster's (we've been the 'outsiders' taking his time faraway from them). He enjoyed me sufficient to returned me. even however the relationship fell by, it had no longer something to do together with his family. i'm now engaged returned (getting married next 3 hundred and sixty 5 days). His sister used to absolutely despise me, something of the family took a on an identical time as to settle for me too (as i replaced right into a single mum. My better half's 3yrs youthful than me). we are approximately to have a toddler, I relatively have my wedding ceremony dress in the cabinet and his family are turning out to be extra of a loving supportive family to me and my teenagers than my very own (I nevertheless get awkward around the sister, yet she's superb and accepting of me. Even attempting to develop into 'pals').

Answer 7

Any friends in the area? Do you trust his family to not physically hurt your baby. If so then ok to leave her there for a few hours while you go out with hubby. If not find a reliable friend to watch her. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I say kill them with kindness, maybe they will come around. Just because they are being rude to you, you don't have to be rude to them. two wrongs don't make a right. If you really not comfortable leaving your daughter with them, well you shouldn't. May I suggest you talk to your fiance about you, him and his family going to counseling to try to work out your differences.

Answer 9

Even if the past has been harmful to you and your emotions as a person, keep in mind your bady is another person with their own little life. I suggest to give them ONE chance to accept the baby, maybe afterwards your relationship with them may improve thanks to the child's connection with them. But everything is a chance and risk so please make sure you are ready to make that decision. And also remember, your baby comes first regardless on how you feel about them or how they feel about you. A loving, Caring mother is a respectful mother in my books. And good luck to both you and your fiancee in the near future.

Answer 10

i have the same issue kindof, only i dont have a baby. id tell him that you feel its "too soon" to leave your daughter yet. if you are feeling uncomfortable telling him the truth. If he cares about you and your daughter, he will take you places that shew ill be allowed and wont get you kicked out of, thats part of raising a child. you cant leave her out

Answer 11

Give them the benefit of the dought let them take care of the baby i belive they are not going to do anything bad to the baby they might hate you but when it cames to baby there feelings charges its part of there blood now meaning you and the baby are there family to. have fun and do not worry to much GOD will protect your baby nothing bad will happen you deserve a night out after nine months