Wedding Thank You Notes?

Question

I am a terrible person.

Let me explain. I was married almost a year ago. I had a shower and received presents from the wedding itself. I had two lists, one shower and one wedding list. The shower list I placed inside a gift box to transport home. Upon arriving I discovered that my mother had moved it out of the gift box to another place where I would be less likely to lose it. Unfortunately, it either fell out or was thrown away (me not knowing where it was) because it never turned up. We moved the week after our wedding and the second list was lost in the move.

I found the second list six months later and wrote the thank you cards (already horrifically late). However, many of the people on the second list were friends with people on the first list and I didn't want to send you thank you cards to only half as they might discuss it and feel left out. We were moving in a couple of weeks and I thought we would find the list then. We didn't. It has now been a year.

I am rewriting the notes from the second list but I have given up on ever writing the thank you notes from the first. I can't explain any of this to my guests. I feel so horrible that I can't even get a wedding invitation from a friend in the mail without going into fits of sobbing with guilt.

My question is, posed to the general public for a reason:

If you received a thank you note in the mail for a wedding gift a year late, with an update on the couple's lives and how they've used your gift, how terribly offended would you be that they didn't send it sooner, how horrible of people would you think they are, and how angry would you be? Would you ever be able to forgive them?

A little background on my family: I have a grandmother who hasn't sent me a Christmas or Birthday present since I was 12 because she sent me a present that year and I never sent a thank you card. My mother-in-law claims that one of her sister-in-laws is still angry and upset that she never got a wedding invitation, even though it has been explained to her that we got it back in the mail, chewed up and dog eared, with a stamp that said "Return to sender: Incorrect address" two weeks before the event.

Answer 1

Honey you're going to give yourself an ulcer or nervous breakdown worried about what everyone else thinks. But you are asking for advice so here goes. First a thank you with an update at the one year anniversary is adorable and would be very welcome. Anyone who truly loves you will not care if they received a thank you card or Invitation. Only small minded bitter people hold such small things against loved ones. As long as you FEEL guilty about losing the lists you are guilty. Forgive yourself for being human. Send out the update thank everyone for being so wonderful through your first year as a couple etc.. and then let it all go. A year is long enough to be carrying that weight around. Move on, and emorionally at least leave behind those who can not move on with you.

Answer 2

I am not here to be severe---But---
This should have been dealt with some time ago
You surely have a guest list for the shower AND the wedding (?)
Some of those same people would have been on both lists----right ?--
You simply sit down and write a much more involved note
explaining this lost list from the gifts list thing to EVERYONE you have numbers for and simply apologize for the shaffu ---- and let everyone know--- if you did give us a gift -- please know that it WAS greatly appreciated and we are big time sorry this has happened !!! Most people will be very appreciative of getting this explaination and apology and the ones that don't ---what can you say--- you did try --- right ??? Beats not making an effort at all out of some kind of fear of people NOT appreciating the effort !

Answer 3

Wow, what a calamity of events. I am sorry that all of this happened to you. The only thing you can do is if you run into any of the people on your 1st list you can chat with them a little and tell them that you lost everyone's address during your move and meant to send out the thank you cards, but couldn't for that reason...and add that you sincerely thank them for their gift. Sorry sweety but that's the best you can hope for to make amends. I wouldn't hate you at all. I would probably chuckle and be very understanding after hearing your story. However, I must admit that I was a little miffed when my own brother and new sister in law waited 6 months to send out their thank-you cards. It wasn't because of a mishap like yours...it was because they just kept putting it off because they didn't want to sit down and take the time to do it.

Answer 4

I feel it's better late than never. I would not be angry or offended. I would just like to think that the newlyweds were busy and adjusting to married life. My daughter was married 7 weeks ago and has been so busy with work and a new home that she hasn't even thought about thank you notes yet. People maybe more understanding than you think.

Answer 5

I think thats a wonderful solution.

Send cards of your life now.. a year later..
a photo card even would be nice.
Say a thankyou for your gift and dont mention the mix up of the lists or thankyou notes.

they will be so over the moon with getting an update they wont worry about the thankyou notes.

Answer 6

a million)expensive (centred visitor) thank you for coming our wedding ceremony. We had a brilliant time and we've been are satisfied to have shared the experence with you. we would additionally prefer to declare thank you for the economic present. it is going to help out a great deal with (abode, honeymoon, and so forth...) 2) expensive (centred visitor) thank you for the (present). It replaced into a great deal liked. Our wedding ceremony replaced into marvelous, i'm sorry which you're able to desire to not make it. we are able to not wait to proportion the memories and pictures with you. 3) expensive (boss) thank you for the present of two place settings at our wedding ceremony. It replaced into very considerate of you and plenty liked. (if he did not make it) Sorry you're able to desire to not make it, yet we are able to not wait to coach you the photos. (if he got here) We have been so satisfied to proportion our wedding ceremony day with you!

Answer 7

it's not that big of deal. Don't make yourself sick over it! It's the thought that counts! Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 8

it is a critical problem indeed, I cannot solve it- sorry