She wants to know where I am and who I'm with. Sometimes I tell her but most of the time I just want to be left alone and am sick of all the questioning. She thinks if I don't tell her it means I'm doing something bad. And that's not true and she shouldn't think that because she knows in no way am I a bad kid or have ever done anything bad in my life etc. I feel like I have no freedom. When I was away at college I could do what I wanted and had to answer to no one but myself. I've talked to her many times and tried to explain to her how frustrated she is making me. And she says she'll try harder and won't butt into my business, but the very next day it happens again. I'm almost 21 years old and she won't let me live my life. I don't know what to do anymore, it's become so stressful. All of my friends don't know how my sister, who's 18 and I can stand it. So any advice would be really helpful. I feel like I've tried everything but nothing gets thru to her.
2006-12-05 16:49:03 · 16 answers · asked by Sydney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's Christmastime and your Mom misses you. Cut her some slack.
2006-12-05 16:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by WonderWoman 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure you Mom would LOVE to let you live your own life, get a fulltime job and pay all your own bills.
As soon as all the bills are addressed to you at the house you bought yourself, then you will be an ADULT.
Until then, you aren't.
21 is a just number, honey.
Freedom isn't free.
What I don't know is how your Mom is putting up with you or your sister. Stop whining and GET a J-O-B.
You Mom doesn't think you're doing anything bad. She is worried that someone else in the world IS. And she is RIGHT.It's a sick world out there, kiddo. And you are going to remain a Kiddo until you pay your own way.
That whining is a bunch of drivel.
Your business IS your Mom's business until you move out on your own, Sherlock.
2006-12-05 17:11:18 · answer #2 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you guys are on good terms, and it seems like she really wants to stop annoying you but doesn't seem to know how to stop, then is there some way for you to alert her when she is annoying you so she can learn to stop? Maybe you guys could talk about it and figure out a good way to alert her so that over time she will be more aware (actually, conditioned) to stop, or reduce the annoying behaviors. For example, when she starts questioning you about stuff, could you say, "mom, you're doing that thing again.".....just something unique that you two come up with to alert her.
If that doesn't work, and you are truly desperate, then you could stop rewarding her for the annoying behaviors. Anytime she asks you annoying questions, just ignore her and leave every single time. After awhile, she will get the idea, and if she really wants you around, she will stop the annoying behaviors.
Other than that, I would seek a counselor for more indepth ideas.
Good luck
2006-12-05 17:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We often create our own stress. You can't change your mom. So, you change how you react to her.
When you walk in. Give her a quick run down of who & what. Then charm her with your smile, hug her and say, I love you mom. And she will be beaming. She will be happy and you will be happy. Can you imagime the stress if you & your sister fight her every turn? Hey guess what? you might get a roomate at school who asks you the same things, but as a firend,not as a mother. Part of her questing is just common interest. You might destroy peace in the family if you fight her at every turn. If you do things with a smile and love you get further than if you take everyone down fighting.
We often have a choice in life of making life. Do things with a sense of humor. Like when you are older kiss your mom and say I love you mom. I will catch you up on the details next time. You charm her and don't give her reason to worry. Also you might stand in her shoes and sometime when she comes in late nicely ask her where she was, what did she do etc.
You and your sister will be happier if you deal with your mom with a sence of kindness and love and humor. Eventually you two will be parents your selves.
2006-12-05 19:44:53 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do no longer would desire to ask permission to out, oftentimes, however the undeniable fact that your mom is there gazing your son for you makes a extensive distinction. I had my son while i grow to be 15. i did no longer have a social existence, and did no longer experience like i necessary one. I went to college and worked, that grow to be the quantity of me socializing. till I went to a pal's domicile and my son got here with me. on occasion, while i grow to be 18/19 in college i might bypass out with my boyfriend to his acquaintances' residences to "occasion" which grow to be 40 5 minutes away. My mom might enable me bypass when I positioned my son to mattress and that i may well be domicile by employing the subsequent morning. i did no longer drink the two yet enjoyed the occasional evening out. Did your mom inform you why she mentioned no? Her reasoning is proper. If she mentioned no by way of fact she would not experience stable and would not p.c. to rigidity approximately your son waking up, it particularly is a robust reason. If she only would not p.c. you to confirm your boyfriend and often has administration subject concerns, which would be a situation. yet she is doing you a prefer helping you and your newborn so despite she says is trump, actual. Being "only a sort of varieties of human beings" isn't an excuse on your mom to would desire to observe your newborn, or all and sundry to would desire to observe your newborn till you're paying them. Or they're your husband, i think. Being a youthful single mom could have its moments besides the fact that it particularly is what it particularly is.
2016-10-14 03:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by cutburth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to move out! She just is trying to protect you b/c she loves you! She wants you to have an easier life then she did! Most parents want this for their children as you will understand when you have kids! She is trying to keep you little a little bit longer! She does not yet understand that children must live and experience to learn despite what they tell them or do for them! She just wants to besure she done everything in her power to keep you safe! If she ever had to go to the morgue to ID your body and she didn't do all she thought she could do ... the horrifying guilt she would have to live with! It is calling cutting the aprons strings ... which she is trying to but, yet she is not sure how to! Don't be too hard on her .... she loves you more them her own life this is plain to see! It is not b/c she won't let you live your life... she doesn't know how to let go and let you become the young sweet lady you have become! You will have to move out on your own and it will be hard on her , but in time she will deal with you are grown up!
2006-12-05 17:05:32 · answer #6 · answered by MagikButterfly 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is just being a typical mother. Let her be, u will be back in college soon. Maybe this sense of "doing what I wanted" will wear away as u get used to college. It is this new found freedom that u have just started enjoying that has gone to your head. Believe me, another year of "doing what I want" will wear thin and u will want to come back home.
2006-12-05 17:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by majorcavalry 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Simple, don't go home! rent a room from a house or live with a friend, but do not move home with mom! Trust me, this will solve the issue.She has to see you are an adult and need your space to grow and privacy as well. Good luck!!
2006-12-05 17:45:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i was going to say tell her how you feel, but that didn't work. so i guess maybe when you come home from break you should find somewhere else to stay. The truth is if you are staying in her house she does have the right to make the rules. i know it sucks but it is true!
let me ask you this though...when you have talked to her about it in the past are you snotty and whiney? because if you are she isn't taking you seriously. if you want her to treat you like an adult you have to act like one. sit her down, stay cool, and be assertive. if that doesn't work i would be really upset with her because you are an adult, and deserve to be treated like one,
2006-12-05 17:02:13 · answer #9 · answered by Bubby'sGirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey I think you are lucky that she wants to share your new experiences with you. Your friends parents are probably not interested in them at all. Any time any day I will take your mmom over theirs, Out yourself in her shoes and you MIGHT understand Make this a merry Xmas for your family and her, she misses you. Get it?
2006-12-05 17:40:28 · answer #10 · answered by devora k 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well u could stay at home with her for a hold day! and when she's goes out ask where she's been, who has she been out with, every thing she ask u ask her this will kind of give her a feel of how she's making u feel, good luck!!!
2006-12-05 18:02:02 · answer #11 · answered by Kas-O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋