What am i suppose to do?

Question

I'm so sad. I don't know what to do.
My mom is a caregiver, so she takes care of crazy old people. She has to lift them, and most of them are so heavy. Everyday come home and her back hurts so bad. My father is most of the time drunk when she gets home. They argue all the time. We moved here 2 years ago from my country, for a better life, but my father had like 9 months when he didn't work at all, and all he did was to drink. My mom didn't tell him anything, because she said he is in a depression, but everything got on her nerves ,and on mine too, because i can't stand him when he is drunk, he says so much ********. He always tell us , that one day he will leave back in our country because we treat him bad. But i can't stand him anymore. I also have a little brother , and he never teach my brother anything. I'm a senior in highschool and i take care of my brother. He is 5. But instead enjoying my teenage time i have to do stuff that my father is suppose to. He doesn't even know how..

to use a screw driver. Since we moved here , i assambled most of the furniture in my house , and i'm a girl. He does so many stupid things with money and behave like he is so smart, but let me tell you .... he is stupiddddddddd....he doesn't understand some common sense stuff that he should understand. My mom doeasn't want to kick him out because he works now but just 4 days a week like security and really low paid when my mom kills her back with old people to be sure that he can offer to me and my brother a good life. Back in our country she worked in a office , she is really smart. She knows how to do so many stuff, on computer and she is a genius in math. I think she could find a good job if she had more time to find, but she can't because the income we have are the money for all the bills and not for any savings. And i put so many jobs aplication online but here if u don't know ppl that they can get u in a job is really hard. What am i suppose to do?

Answer 1

trust me sweetgirl hold your head high, i have and idea of what you are going through you dont have n one to lean on or turn to and its only you or mom and lil brother and believe it or not you are the ony one that is trying your hardest to hold and keeping your family together try and advise your mother to persuade and push him to go to a alcohol rehab center it seems to me that he has an alcohol problem and needs alot f help because his problem is making it harder for your mom and you and i would also advise to ask your mom to enrole the entire family in a counselling session to share all your angers and frustrstions can qalso help yu all before your little brother grows up and be misled in life because of family problems. just pray to God and everything will work out to along with what i have just said !!

Answer 2

This is a sad time ... until your mother wants to leave him for a better life ..nothing you can do but, to be there for your little brother and if you was to go to college and get a good job you could get your mom convinced her to move in with you with your baby brother ... if she does not want to leave your father all you can do is try to be there for your little brother! Maybe report your father to police once you get moved out on, being abusive to your mom and little brother and let the state decide how to help them! What choices do you have! Pray alot too! You will be glad you stuck around for your little brother for if you was not there then what kind of life would he have then! Family is there for the helpless family ... it is called LOVE!

Answer 3

Hey,

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time at home right now. The people on here who answered with mean answers....ignore them. More of us care about you than want to leave nasty remarks.

You are a brave and caring young woman. You should share this story with your high school counselor or ask your counselor for a referral to a free mental health counselor for you to talk to.

Also, your father is an alcoholic. Look up on-line for some local Ala-teen meetings. Ala-teen (not sure if I spelled it right) is a great group for teens with alcoholics in their lives. You get good advice there, people who listen to you and who can become friends.

Possibly also find a Woman's Resource Center in your area and maybe one day you and your mom can visit there. They can help with career counseling for your mom.

Answer 4

Be there the best you can for your brother. Remember your mother is doing the best she can so be willing to help her out when you can. But there is only so much you can do you are not his father you are his sister, so be there for him, be his friend. As for your father just stay away from him as much as possible. i know that is kinda hard, but just avoid him as much as possible.

You have to be happy too, so since you are a senior in high school start applying for college to live in the dorm. You need to get out of there asap. Even when you are away you can still be there for your bro. come home and see him on weekends. Your home is not healthy so if you want to be you have to leave asap!

Don't be afraid to talk to an adult outside your family like a teacher at school that you trust about your father and your home life. They will be able to help you even more!

Answer 5

I am so sorry for you my dear as I am a survivor of an Alcoholic family upbringing and it almost ruined my life, and at 50 years old I still bear the scars of my time. I will never forgive my Father for the way he was to us, as he also beat my Mom up and went after us to. Unfortunately for us, there wasn't a lot of help, but for you there are many organizations available, starting with going to your school counsellor and possible going to ALATEEN which is for children in Alcoholic family situations. Your Mom could also go to ALANON for help too. Sadly, for your Dad, he will never get better until he admits he has a problem and that problem is he is an Alcoholic, which is an addiction, and is very hard to kick, and he needs help to do so as he cannot help himself, and if this continues, there is only sadness and dismay for you and your family, so get some help for yourself and your Mom etc OK? I will also pray for you and yours and ask the creator for him to help you....Good luck and God bless you and your family.

Answer 6

You are NOT supposed to be the parent, and I am so sorry that someone is expecting you to be one.
Phone or go visit a place that's called Al-anon (short for alcoholics anonymous) in your town. Sometimes it's listed as AA.
It's a support group for relatives of alcoholics. They can give you the support and care you deserve. Also, don't make excuses for your Dad. He doesn't deserve them.
Invite your Mom and little brother to go with you, too. This is a free, support group, and you all deserve it.

Answer 7

HI! your problem are almost the same of mine, because my father is a drunkard too. But the thing do is to find the reason why my father drunk. Mostly when I asked him he keep it a secrete thats why I tell him the reason why I asked him and he understand also. For your problem in your teenage don't worry about that because even you take care of your brod. you have also a time to be happy but not with your friends but your brother. Being a teenager is so very dangerous, you know why? because in these stage makes your future. If you go with your friends it cause you to early pregnancy, thats if you are careless but even you are not careless you will infatuate to other. For me its okay to stay with you brother until your brother know how to keep on himself. The one thing I tell you it is so ADVANTAGE TO YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BROTHER. please understand very well.

Answer 8

i obvioulsy feel bad for u.... ur dad is a very S*** person. I have friends who are like that and i think u should try talking to other adults who u trust or you could try getting your mind off it. LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE! CHEER UP! After all.... you might learn something. And maybe your dad should leave. What's the point keeping him if he doesn't do anyone good? I know it sounds bad but thats what i would do. I like to tlak to people i trust and it always make me feel good :)!

Answer 9

you may say i'm overreacting, but protect yourself if your father gets drunk all the time because he might not know what he do when he is so drunk. i think you and your mom should talk to your father about this, ask him to get a job tell him that you can hardly handle both the school and housework. and to your mom, i think you should be 100% supportive to her and if necessary take her to doctor for her depression, the longer you leave it the worse it will get.

Answer 10

1) Your Dad is an Alcoholic!! That may sound cruel,but that is exactly what you have described.

2) I can tell you have a lot of Anger towards him (Justifyabley so)
You need somebody you can talk to and vent

I am going to list a few places below that can give you some help........YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!

Please contact or go to each of these websites....I think you will be glad that you did!!

.....and I'll say a prayer for you,too!!