if you was planning to break up with someone which one would you do?

Question

ive always had a hard time letting go but this time i just want to end it. well should i just tell him to leave or let him stay and let him realize that i dont care anymore, in person. i dated him for 3 yrs and its been really hard. in a way i want him to see i dont care right in his face. or should i just go ahead and break it off. he has done me so wrong but he is feeling kind of guilty so he has started buying me things but that still didnt make our problems solved. what would you do?

Answer 1

Realize that you deserve better and move on. Be straight up with him. Tell him your not happy and you can't do it no more. Yep, guys usually do that when they messed up (buying things and kissing butt). We're all humans and we all tend to make mistakes, but when you love someone, you don't hurt the ones you love. It's up to you on how much you can take and put up with. If your not happy - know that life is way too short to put up with any drama or heartache/heartbreak. There is better out there. Next time, raise your standards at least a little. Don't accept just anything that looks good or someone that's a little too flattering for words. It's always good at first when it comes to relationships.......and all men are not the same........the only difference.......is the amount of time it takes when things start going downhill. I wish you luck girl.

Answer 2

Ok, it's fair to say the question here is whether you are as concerned about this guy as your own getting simply getting away without feeling guilty.

If you're the stronger person than most, even if this guy has done terrible things to you, you will have enough courage to give the guy a path to improve and acknowledgement of where he flopped. Acknowledgement of which even issues like physical features compared to another love interest and him making you look not so cool in front of your friends...this actually helps as it will likely make him feel less guilty and "beat himself up" less in the long-run about the break-up.

For the things he did (or didn't do) that are not related so much to your personallity (his cheating on you, trying to buy his way to your love, being very predictable while other guys were more exciting, being a bad lover physically, etc.) that could likely help him with future relationships just let him know what those things are. And add in some ideas what might help.

Just make sure to make a firm note: I'm doing this as I realize I've been with you for three years and don't want you to come out being a weaker man: I'm not getting back with you but I wish you luck in making whoever you meet next very happy. Or, if you do think you might get together with him if he strengthens his attitude say something more like "I do hope you do become that kind of guy and we could date again, but it's not going to happen overnight".

Answer 3

Well since you've been together for SO long i would assume you two had a descent relationship. So the best i can think of is to sit him down and explain how you've been feeling. Let him no that you appreciate the gifts but they just aren't cutting it. You don't feel the same way about him. You could even take him out (after you break up and with a large group of friends) and have fun. Let him know that you still want to be friends. But, no offense, guys aren't exactly quick with girls hints, so you would have to be really obvious or be stuck with him until you could get the guts to break up with him. Good Luck and i hope I've helped some what.

Answer 4

Don't let this drag out any longer. Just tell him to his face, asap, that he has hurt you a lot and you can't go on any long with the relationship. He may tell you he is sorry and beg to stay, but i think you should be strong and get rid of him, and like i said do it quick. We all know that buying presents is nice, yeah, but it isn't going to take away the pain he has caused. 3 years is a long time, but if you keep going the way you are you are just going to be more miserable!

Answer 5

Tell him up front how you feel and that you want it to be over. That way, he can't misinterpret what you do/say. Plus, if you stay with him just to make him see that you don't care, you're also hurting yourself by staying in a relationship that you're not happy in. And you're absolutely right that, just because he's started buying you things doesn't mean that all your problems are solved.

Answer 6

I would make him feel really guilty. Get all the gifts I can out of him. Then when the money runs out - tell him that you need time to think about things. Then stop speaking to him. This should get him to get you more things. Whatever you do - don't sleep with him. Eventually he'll get the picture.

Answer 7

Sounds like he's very controlling and has already realized your feelings have changed. So now he's trying to control it by buying you some things.

You should break up and tell him not to email or call for at least one month. That will give you time to breathe and get your defenses in place.

Answer 8

You should be honest with him, tell him how you're feeling and that you no longer want to be in a relationship with him. This gives you a chance to get everything off your chest, later on you won't be kicking yourself for not having told him this, that and the other. Also, just because he has poor social skills does not mean you have to reduce yourself to his level. Do it in person, your relationship deserves at least that.

Answer 9

It's over, be sane, be pleasant, but Be Firm. You want your space, so for now, we are not seeing each other exclusively anymore. We are putting our relationship on the back burner. We're taking a long time out ! The relationship is on ice.

Answer 10

Tell me him darling... and be firm about it. Be firm - its your life and you have full right to live the way you want. In three years if you feel there's no erason you should hold on - its better to let go ! Start by refusing his gifts politely. Good luck !