Questions about Terminal Cancer Patients?

Question

My mother is dieing of terminal cancer, we have been her care givers for the last few days as well as Hospice. They told us not to get our hopes up for Christmas. And noticed a drastic change in a matter of four days. And the nurses say they see the change as well. We would like to ask questions about the smell of death. We have recently noticed a smell to her vomiting and burps. And no matter if we leave her for a moment we can still smell it even if we leave the home. Has any of you experienced this type of thing before.
Thanks For Your Support.

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear about your mother - I lost my grandfather and my father to lung cancer within two years of each other and I can really empathize with your situation.

I have heard about the "smell" of death from a friend whose mother died about three years ago - she also said something about a death "rattle" in the lungs and when they cough - she said that she came straight out and asked the hospice nurses if that was what she was hearing and they said that it was and then it was only a couple of more days. I don't remember this when my family members died because I was too young (10-12 yrs old). I really wish that I could help you more - please let your mother know that you think she did a great job as a mother - even if you don't think she can understand you - find your closure now - don't try not to say the things that need to be said just because you don't want her to know that you know it's the end - say these things now and let her have her peace and you have your peace and there will be no regrets

I will keep you in my prayers - God Bless and hold you during this difficult time

Answer 2

I am so sorry, for what you are going thru. I went thru, this with my own mother 12 tears a go, Hospice was a great help. I was the only daughter, so caring for her the last few days, was mostly left to me, her request was to die at home, so I was not allowed to call for a hospital, when the pain got really bad, I don't recall the smell as much as, how she looked, so yellow,[I'm sure you all ready know a bout how the liver stops functioning], and even tho she was not eating hardly anything, she was very swollen, and bloated looking. I don't know if I can give you hope a bout Christmas, because it's not really that important, that she live, just to see one more tree, she needs no material gifts, this is the time for you to make every day a gift, with the love and comfort you[sorry crying so hard, can't see the key board[, can give her. Forgive her for every little thing, that angered or annoyed you, [come on now, we have all had issues, with even the best of mothers], And let her know that if the pain or burden of living gets to be to great, thats it is alright to let go, if you are religious, then maybe, oe maybe not, this is the year, she is meant to spend, her Christmas, in a nother place, if that is true ,then be happy for her, some times poeple will "hang on", for the sake of others, but it is painfull for them. The one true thing I can tell you, is that being there, with them when they die, is difficult,shocking, but the most selfless thing you can do for your mother. My mothers last words were, "I'm dying, I love you." She repeated the I love you over and over untill her last breath, and then I felt, I mean pyhsically felt, her soul leave with peace. This is not a story I share, but I think you need to know, I wish you the very best, Iwish your mother a peaceful journey.

Answer 3

yes, I have been a geriatric nurse ( elderly people) for past 22 + yrs. The smell of death is THE most strongest sickening & repulsive ordor that will linger for sometime even AFTER, you know.
By the way, my condolensences on your mothers ill health. I myself have a dear cousin in the same condition so I know very well what you are going through & feeling @ this time.
My hat has always been off to the hospice professionals they are great bunch of people I have ever had the opportunity to observe & talk to.

Answer 4

My sympathy is with you at this most difficult time. It's never easy. But when I worked in a hospital many years ago, there was a definite odor to the rooms with some terminally ill patients. They used to keep a bottle of room freshener called Air-Wick in the bathrooms---no room sprays in those days.

But I agree with some others---do tell your mother it is okay for her to go. We did that with my son. Sometimes, they hang on for the family's sake. Tell her you love her even if she doesn't respond. Talk to her. She may hear you even if you don't think she can. If nothing else, it will be good for you to say the things you want to.

It always seems worse when someone dies before a holiday, but we don't have any say in that.

Answer 5

I am so sorry about your mom. I lost mine 2 years ago to cancer all over her body. There was a faint smell 5 days b/f she passed. She also had the death sweat.
The closer to her death, she kept pulling her clothes off & mumbleing words. The night b/f she passed, she lay peaceful & still & her breath got shallow. I had also noticed a big weight drop in the last 5 days. I also noticed the veins in her feet got really blue & stood out. The color of her urine turned to dark brown.
I pray that your mom is not suffering.Prayers to your family.

Answer 6

my son Matt died of brainstem cancer on Oct 10 2006 , he was only 17 . i know the pain you are feeling . i will tell you that no matter how well i thought i had researched or talked to people and ask questions , i was still shocked by his death . i knew it was coming , but i guess i just didn't want to see it . my mom said that when she held Matt's hand a couple of days before he died that he had a odor about him , i bathed him everyday . so it only could have been the death smell , i didn't smell it , but i was with him 24/7. i did however hear the death rattle and once you hear you will know what it is and it is a sound you will never forget. hospice was a great source of help to us and did a great job at pain control for Matt . usually they are very accurate when determining when death will occur and Matt died within 4 days of the day they thought he would , but i had to tell him to go . i couldn't stand watching him suffer and hanging on for me , which i know he was. the day i told him it was okay to go , he died. i know he would have died anyway , but i needed him to know it was okay and i think he needed me to tell him it was okay. god bless you and your family , i will keep you all in my thoughts , feel free to email me to talk , vent , whatever .........

Answer 7

I am very sorry to hear about your father. Have you spoken directly with any hospice representatives? They are wonderful, and can answer any questions you have about the dying process, including this one. It is tough to think about, but at this point, your father's body is actually shutting down, and isn't processing fluids or any nutrition anymore. That's why the doctors only expect him to live for a very short time. Keeping him on an IV won't keep him alive any longer, and it won't make him suffer if it is removed.