My nephew is cute but sometimes he can be a pain in the butt. Babysitting is hard cause I don't have his mom around to back me up, just me myself and I. I am thinking of new ways to punish him cause I never seem to get the point accross that is he does it again then he will get in trouble, and just now i came up with a time-out where there are two gates (making like a little jail cell away from his TV, and toys) in the hall and I keep him in there for 3 minutes, and he seems to calm down a little.
I wonder if that is to mean cause he is traped in a small area no toys and no tv. Am i being to mean?
2006-12-05 15:50:02 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
my nephew is 3 years old
2006-12-05 16:19:11 · update #1
I need to make the cell cause he won't stay in the time-out without a gate
2006-12-05 16:20:46 · update #2
and when I put him in the "jail cell" I tell him what he did wrong and make sure he knows
2006-12-05 16:23:02 · update #3
I think that is a great idea! It's not too harsh. I mean, it's just 3 minutes and he's in a safe place where he can't get hurt. Also, timeout is meant to be a punishment so he shouldn't have ANY toys or TV, etc. No entertainment. I mean, if you were to leave him them for an hour, that might be a bit extreme, but I think even up to 15 minutes wouldn't be so hard. He's 3 so that is an eternity to him since kids have no concept of time. Also, if it's working, that's great.
I think you are on the right track by explaining to him what he did wrong. That way, he understands why he's there and it's not just because you decided to isolate him. That is perfect!
One last thing you should do is speak to his mother. You should both sit down with him and have her tell him that you are to be respected and obeyed. If she has never done this, then maybe he doesn't understand that she expects him to take you seriously too. That is very important. Kids like to meet their parents expectations. If your sister tells him that you are someone she respects and what's him to do the same with you, then chances are he will. It's probably important for you to be there with her when she does it so that she he sees how she treats you and that he should listen to you.
But again, it's not too mean at all. It's not like you are beating him or leaving him isolated all day. It's just a time-out. Good job!
2006-12-06 01:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by Hootie562 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not really.
How old is he, though? If he's younger than two, he doesn't really understand what he's doing wrong. If that's the case it's best to prevent him from doing it in the first place. Punishment will NOT help.
If he's older, like say 3 or 4, that's fine. My nephew is 3 and we do something similar with him. There's a cabinet next to the bedroom door, and he has to stand facing the corner for two minutes. If he whines the two minutes starts over.
If he's that age it might be better to make him face the wall like that or something, because it will help him learn control. In your 'jail cell' (lol) he doesn't have to control himself ... he's penned in. You're doing it for him. At that age he's old enough to start learning self-control.
So, no, it's not too mean. But depending on his age and maturity level there might be a better way to do it. It all depends on him.
I just read your additions.
Yeah, my nephew wouldn't stay in one place for a while, either. The first few times you have to stand RIGHT behind him. If he moves put him back. Keep doing it. At three he's old enough to understand the thing with time starting over, too. He moves twice and the timeout begins again. It's a fight but ultimately they learn to hold still. That's what we had to do and now when he does need timeout (which isn't often anymore) he stands still by himself. It's the same principle. Teaching self-control.
2006-12-05 15:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being mean, you said it seems to calm him down, so that means it is working,keep up the good job. Your time limit is right 3yrs. old = 3 min. Just remember that some things can be over looked, but never allow anything that could cause harm.
Sounds as though you thought this through before using it as your discipline and that is a good thing, shows you are concerned about the child and his well being.
Remember to have fun with him and enjoy his company.
2006-12-05 16:53:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that is not being mean at all. If you show a child that you are not going to let them get away with something by taking them away from what is causing the problem then it gives them a chance to calm down and get away from what is causing them to lash out or do what ever they are doing wrong. It also shows them that you are not going to let them get away with it and that when they do something wrong then there will be consequences
2006-12-05 15:58:11 · answer #4 · answered by country 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time out is time out. That can mean no toys or TV, or just removal from the trouble area. General rule of thumb, one minute per year of age.
2006-12-05 15:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by G's Random Thoughts 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're not being too mean at all.
three minutes is just long enough for a 3 year old. (Good ol supernanny - a minute for each year old they are woks great)
Don't feel guilty at all. Time-out beats a smack. And it usually has more lasting affects.
My four year old -hates- to be confined to his room when he's been naughty, and it works well.
2006-12-05 17:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by evil_nykki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mostly your focus should be on helping him have a nice time when you are together. You should be reading to him - typically at this age, kids like to hear books over and over. (This really helps them in learning to read down the road.) Do crafts with him, build blocks with him, let him tell you stories. Have him draw pictures, tell you a story about them, and you write down the story on each page. Tie the pages together with a ribbon.
Time out is no longer preferred. Abandonment because you're not obeying is not really a good message. It's better to stop the fun activity, then sit with your nephew and say, "I'm going to sit with you until you calm down. I know you want to act right and I'm going to help you."
Read the book, "How to Talk so Kids WIll Listen and Listen so Kids Will talk." This can help you understand that the role of the adults in his life is to teach and guide him, not punish him.
To hear you are spending time thinking of ways to punish him is sad. You need to be spending time thinking about ways to be with him, entertain him, expand his world.
It's amazing how, when kids are treated right, they are just a delight to be around. Good luck!
2006-12-05 16:48:08 · answer #7 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you feel like that is mean you must not have any children. That is just fine . I don't know how old he is but you should leave him in there the lenth of his age. If you don't like doing that way try a chair or highchair in the corner a way from everything.
2006-12-05 15:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is 3 as well, i totally get it, at 3 they want to test your bounderies and see how far they can go before their they push your buttons 2 far.
Just relax, play with him, and explain to him why he is being punished. They understand.
patience, patience and more patience is what you need to have with him. He is just a little kid, he will grow out of it.
2006-12-05 17:25:56 · answer #9 · answered by Aioria De Leo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it kinda sounds mean but no if it works then it works it's not like your beating up and I'm sure you still let him know you love him so there isn't a thing wrong with it
2006-12-05 21:41:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋