Is my dad showing RIGHTFUL favoritism to my step-sister?

Question

My step sister was raped, yes raped, by MY older brother.She is 14 right now and it happed about two years ago.Because of this, my dad basically gives her anything she wants, and leaves me to stand here by myself.I can't relate to anyone in my family..I'm sure I am jealous at my dad's behaviour because he says he is proud of me, yet never shows it in anyway.He constanly yells at me, and I wish I could just tell him what is on my mind, but I know he won't understand. I did tell him he is showing favoritism, but he says she deserves it.What really made me mad was when he bought her a kitten after a fight they had, and I had been asking for a kitten for over 7 years.I just don't understand what it takes for them to notice me.Stacy has done bad things(she TOUCHED his......yea..) (willingly this time ) with a guy she liked that lives near us and I have been a good girl..And still, I get no real praise. I am older than her,so does that make it that I should accept his favoritism for her?

Answer 1

I'm not sure how old you are, but you may not be able to see that your father is expressing what you consider favoritism and what an older person would recognize as guilt. He must, in some way, blame himself for what happened to your stepsister, and is giving her what she wants as a way to express his regret.

What is disturbing me is that it does not seem as though you have gotten any family counseling for this matter or your concerns and his guilt would have been managed by now. At any rate, you need to explain to your father calmly, like an adult, that you understand that he thinks that he's helping your sister by being lenient on her, but he's damaging his relationship with you and not really dealing with his own issues by doing this. It really is the only way.

Answer 2

He should not be showing any favoritism. True she was hurt really bad, but she needs to put it behind her inorder to move on with her life. Your dad won't always be around them what will she do? Your dad's job is to raise ALL his children in such a way to give them values to live by.
Promiscuity (seeking sex) is a major sign of sexual abuse, so since your step sister is doing this, she's still not over the rape. She needs counselling, not presents.

Answer 3

You should tell your dad whats on your mind adn in your heart, he should understand. Remember your step went through a great ordeal, and your dad must feel bad about what your brother did, he may even feel as though it was his fault why it happened. You've got to also be understanding about where your dad is comming from, he's trying to rebuild your step's confidence to go on in life, but he may still be over protective or something like that. You are older, more mature, and you sound as though you already have a lot going for yourself, if so your dad may already see that. You should tell your dad whats in your heart, and on your mind.

Answer 4

Your dad and your step-sister are trying to come to terms with what has happened and both are themselves in that. Some things might go by unnoticed to others, some things will look excessive to others.
In their relating with each other they determine what is right and wrong for them two until they together have come to terms with what has happened.
Their relation will go through various phases until both have found their own way with what has happened.
To me they are both rightful.

Answer 5

awwwwwwwwww im sorry to hear that but maybe your dad just feels bad that his daughter went through the rape,and maybe he is showing favortism just keep being the good girl that u are and things will work out for you

Answer 6

man somethin doesn't sound right there. i will just stop what i am saying now.. good luck .. honestly i think you should be feeling lucky .........belive me because ur sis sure aint ..