me and my boyfriend have been going out for 10 months. it is long distance right now. well i have recently became close friends with a guy. and my boyfriend has noticed that we are becoming close. he thinks that my guy friend likes me and that he is threatening our relationship. my boyfriend does not want me to hang out with my guy friend any more, or else he'll break up with me. i don't know what to do, because i want to keep him as my boyfriend, and i still want to remain friends and hang out with my guy friend. i do not think it is right for my boyfriend to make me choose between the two of them. but, he has put me in this horrible situation, and i just don't no what to do. isn't my boyfriend wrong for putting this on me? what is the right thing to do? any help/advice? please!
2006-12-05 15:44:31 · 18 answers · asked by =) 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Been there, done that.
You do NOT have to choose between your friend and your relationship. Here is what the *real* choice is: *HE* has to choose whether he wants to stay with you when you remain friends with this guy. Tell him that. Say "No, you need to choose whether you want to be with me, because I'm not losing a good friendship over you."
It is not your fault that he is insecure. You should NEVER have to choose between your friends and your relationship.
The right thing to do is to keep your friend. Don't listen to those who say "It depends on how much you value your friendship". You OBVIOUSLY value this relationship with your guy friend a lot, and you do NOT have to choose between them.
2006-12-05 15:52:21 · answer #1 · answered by Bachman-ette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well serioulsly sayin its a tough situation ... no matter how much u tell him he ll always think u r getting close to the other guy ... the only thing that ll convince him is when he stumbles upon u with that guy doing normal friend stuff ... so when he comes to u go out with ur bf and that friend with other common friends and u show ur bf that even in everyone else s compnay u r the same ... ur feelings for ur boyfriend is same .... u want to know a great idea too ... once u finish with this question and everyone has answered ... send a mail to him giving this questions link for him to see ... or something like that ... u need to show him that u r making efforts to show him that u need him and that he s the one whos more inportant ... and the other guy is a friend only ...
thats it ... all the best ...
2006-12-05 15:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by Yash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation as your BF, but I have made it clear that I do not want my GK meeting her friend unless I am around. There is some Truth to the saying that men and women cannot just be friends. Once a friendship develops it takes just one hardship for that to change to something more serious. But back to my problem, I am so jealous cause my GF let me know she was interested in her Friend before the two of us met... Good luck.... I also very much liked the answer from chatlady...
2006-12-05 15:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by Charlie 1967 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can answer this question all on your own by asking yourself how would you feel if this were the other way around; it was your boyfriend that had this close female friend that you thought was making a move on your boyfriend. Think about this carefully and you will find the balance and right answer
2006-12-05 15:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your bf is insecure about hisself and you having a close guy friend is making him feel even more insecure. You should talk to your bf and let him know that you want to be with him and only him. He doesnt have to worry about you cheating on him. If he's still having problems with you being friends with this guy, mabe you shouldn't be as close with your friend as you are. You may end up having to chose between the two, and if you do, make sure you give it a lot of thought.
2006-12-05 15:57:37 · answer #5 · answered by Miss E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no he is not wrong for putting this on you. I would be mad if my girl got really close with some other guy. especially if i wasn't around too often! how do you think he feels always having to wonder if you're being faithfull to him??? did u ever think of what you are putting him through? if you really care about your boyfriend, then you should value what he thinks and back off a little from this guy friend.
2006-12-05 15:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just scared of losing you to someone else. It is human nature, I used to be the same way. But this is where he has to trust that you will not doing anything with this other guy, that will upset you and him both. If you want him to trust you, have them meet one another, so your boyfriend can talk to him and get a little trust in your friend. But you also have to be careful, you gotta have trust in yourself too, because my exgirlfriend cheated on me, but I did forgive her the first time it happened. Well, anyway, your boyfriend is just scared of losing you to someone else, and he isnt wrong for being scared.
2006-12-05 15:54:09 · answer #7 · answered by traveling_soldier6784 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should not have to choose between the two of them. tell your boyfriend that the guy that you are really close to is just your friend and that you should not have to stop hanging out with him just b/c your boyfriend tells you! it is your life and your decision to make on what you want to do and who you want to be friends with. if he does not like that, then tell him to hit the road!!
2006-12-05 15:54:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to your boyfriend about it. Tell him that he is just a friend and even if he did like you that he shouldn't feel threatened by him. It all comes down to trust and if your boyfriend trusts you he'll understand.
2006-12-05 15:48:29 · answer #9 · answered by Alex 4rm Eastside Fort Worth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah in a way it is he should have trust in you to have guy friends
so yes i think it is that hes doing that, . Id frist talk to your bf and make sure he knows that he can trust you long distance is hard but have to really have trust. ANd it dont look he trusts you yet
make that a factor and im sure you wil be fine
2006-12-05 15:49:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋