My friend wants to have an abortion!?

Question

Shes 23 with 3 children already by the same dude but he just recently got arrested and put in jail for years now shes pregnant with her 4th child and doesnt have any money to support it. She is very depressed and doesnt want to have the abortion but doesnt have a good job because the job market where we live is terrible!! She doesnt know what to do?? She doesnt want to adopt because giving her baby away would tear her to pieces! Any advice for her situation????

Answer 1

Either she can have it and do the best that she can. How is she taking care of the 3 she already has? If they are not doing without then why not have another one and then she needs to get her tubes tied.

If she does not want to have the baby then abortion would be the only option out of the situation. Abortion is every woman's right if she wants one.
If her mind is set on abortion then do not talk her out of it cause it is HER life and HER body.

I would not want to be pregnant for 9 months either and then give it away....

If she is going to have an abortion she needs to do it as soon as possible because the further she goes the higher the price is for abortion.

To find a clinic near you go to http://www.abortion.com

Remember it is her LIFE and no one else's and it is her decision to do whatever she chooses.

Answer 2

If adoption would kill her...abortion is ok, that's kinda twisted. Look if she wants the abortion, tell her to do it. Sooner than later. But maybe she could look into adoption. It isn't like it was years ago. Prospective parents pay for living expenses, medical care, some even give you a lump of money once you sign the child over which really would help her and her current children out as far as the job market thing goes. Plus adoptions are far more open now-a-days. She could have somewhat of a relationship, pictures, letters, the child could grow up knowing why she did it and she could feel secure that she did what was best for it. If she has never had an abortion then she really doesnt know how she will be affected. She should at least consider adoption. Sometimes things we should do are not always the easiest ones to do, but it doesnt mean we should ignore them. Ultimately she should decide what is best for her and her family.

Answer 3

It is one of the very hardest decisions a woman has to make, but it is important to recognize the needs of the three children she already has. Tell her to get some help with the decision. There is counseling available. Having an abortion can tear you to pieces too, you never forget how old your child would be or when it would have been born.Time is also of the essence in this situation, if she chooses abortion, it should be done early, so encourage her to get all the info she can to make her decision. 4 kids at 23 is a lot with a good dad, but with Daddy in jail, even more difficult.
Birth control is another issue she needs to confront.

Answer 4

Is your'e friend on welfare? I don't advocate having children when you can't afford them but there are government programs to help ppl like your'e friend. I believe an abortion would haunt her for the rest of her life. Adoption seems like a better option. There are so many ppl out there who can't have kids that will take good care of that child. Honestly though she should stop having kids by getting on birth control or having surgery. With 3 kids already, the financial burden must be overwhelming. Also I would suggest that she contact an employment agency which could help her at least get a temp job. Hope this advice is helpful.

Answer 5

Have her placing her baby for adoption again. If placing the baby in a loving, caring home would tear her to pieces; how on earth would she feel about aborting it? That might haunt her for years. Adoption is a loving, unsefish way to deal with an unplanned pregnancy. All parties involved benefit from it. In this case, your friend will get the benefit of not feeling the stress of being unable to provide for this baby and the peace of knowing that she unselfishly put the baby's best interests over her own feelings, the baby gets the benefit of a loving, home where it will be provided for and the adoptive parents get the benefit of a precious little baby to love and raise. She can look into an open adoption where the adoptive couple would be willing to allow her opportunities to be part of the baby's life. She can even choose the adoptive couple herself if she wants. There is a website where she can look at the profiles of couples who are waiting to adopt. It's www.itsaboutlove.org. Good luck to you in supporting her and to her in dealing with the difficult situation.

Answer 6

Well assuming that she kept her old baby stuff a baby doesn't really cost much... but I am not her so I just don't know. If she is ambivilant about an abortion I would recommend against it though, she could end up really regretting it for the rest of her life.

I'm half pro-choice so it isn't like I would automatically say no to abortion. I would say have the child, she will find a way to make it work. What's the big difference between 3 and 4.

Answer 7

She should go see a lawyer and find out how to get full custody and make him pay child support while in jail. I think theres help for people in that situation. (Not making money to pay child support 'cause they're in jail) She should also get on all the programs the state has to offer for women and children, like WIC. As far as abortion goes, only she can decide whats best for her. It's not fair to bring a child into the world if it's going to be raised without enough food or clothing. Therefore if she decides to have it she should either figure out a better way to support her kids or put it up for adoption. Like I said only she can make that decison.

Answer 8

She needs UNBIASED counseling.

It is her choice to make. If she just found out and is only a couple weeks pregnant she won't feel as bad, but if she waits a month or two she will feel worse about it.

I don't care who jumps on here and screams that being a couple weeks pregnant and having an abortion is killing a baby.

The fact is, IT IS HER BODY. And it remains to be true that you won't feel as bad if you get an abortion as soon as you find out.

But she should have her tubes tied or something like that to not have to deal with this ever again. If she's done having kids, then she needs to take steps to truly be done and not just go get abortions every time it happens.

Answer 9

Oookay. If giving the baby AWAY would tear her to pieces, and having abortion wouldn't....
Question her on that.
Seriously.
I mean: What the hell?
She'd be a MURDER if she'd kill the baby via abortion. That's taking away a life. Help her out, be a friend and help her support the kids. I'm not saying give her $300 knowing she can't pay it back. But... you know.

Answer 10

She shoud not get a abortion because if giving her baby away is going to tear her to pieces well abortion she just going to kill her. She will remember forever that she killed her baby.
There is alot of help out there is welfair then she can get Gian and they will give her money for not working then they will even help her go back to school that is what i am doing and i am just fine i am all most out of school going to get a nice job with alot of money and i was 13 when i had my frist babt just that i am still with the dad.