Spanking a 17 year old girl?

Question

Is spanking a 17 year old girl for name calling an appropriate punishment? I think not. Also, when I was 15 or 16 I had my door taken off for fighting with my brothers. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE WHY THAT IS WRONG? Your a teenager and you want privacy, especially in your room. I had to hide in my closet and change because my two brothers would run up and down the stairs and would look in my room all the time. I wont spank a kid over the age of 14, and I wouldnt take a door off of a kids room over the age of 11. Is that wrong?

Its my mom doing it... is that sexual abuse?

I AM DEFINATELY NOT A TROUBLE MAKER - Im home schooled, Dont smoke or hang out with bad kids, never snuck out, I mean come on. She says I will get spanked if I call my brothers names like idiot or stupid or somthing

Im mature, its the random comments or antagonizing and I just roll my eyes and say, god you can be stupid or something. Who says Im not mature? Im in the Young Marines and made the rank of Master Sergeant, not by being 'immature'. And I am seeking to move out too. I am in no way disrespectful to my mother. Dont think Im acting immature, because Im not.

Answer 1

i would tell you to stick with your gut feeling. i dont think it is healty to spank any child over the age of even 13 maybe 12...depending upon maturity level. it almost sounds like mental sexual abuse. a growing girl needs privacy and should have a door so that she can change her cloths without guys watching.... the only reason i can see for removing a door to a teenage girl's room was if she was suicidal... but even then, she would probably be in a hospital and not at home. if this was you. i hope you recognize that it is unhealthy and that you break the cycle by talking about it with your family so that it stops, and that your brothers dont do the same to their children... i doubt you would do it to your own.

Answer 2

First a couple of observations. You appear to be pretty well adjusted and mature in some respects as you indicated in your details. Second, in other ways you seem to be still childish--the name calling, the fighting.

For how well you are turning out I give credit to your Mom. So it looks like she is doing something right.

Spanking at your age is unusual. But it happens. I know cuz it happened to me a couple of times. I also know there were others--we just never mentioned it to each other at the time.

Against almost everyone who answered here, I think that if spanking has been working it should not be arbitrarily ended at some particular age. That is pretty illogical. Why just suddenly stop something that is working well? Isn't that just inviting misbehavior that was formerly punished with by a spanking. And face it--isn't a spanking better than being grounded for long periods of time and stuff like that? The point is made, the air cleared and you can move on.

So, given all that, unless you have some other details, I have to defer to your Mom's judgment on the punishment.

There are reasons for the taking off the door thing. It is usually because there is inappropriate behavior taking place in the bedroom. Were you fighting with your brothers in your bedroom?

If so--two years having the door off is excessive (unless there are some details you are not sharing with us). But if this is all there is to it I think you should approach your Mom in a reasonable way. Explain you understand why she took it off. But that is no longer happening and will not happen. Explain your natural need for privacy. You could even say "besides I know if I did that I might get a spanking and I sure don't want that."

Try and work with your mother on all of this. Understand, that even though most kids are not spanked at your age, you are not alone, and your mother is only doing it because she is trying to raise you right. Try and work on the door problem.

Most of all try to act and behave in such a way that your Mom will consider you too old and mature for these types of punishments.

Answer 3

What do you mean by spanking? A smack across the face? or being put over your mom's knee? I have been smacked at that age, because I was very disrespectful. I thought being seventeen meant I was allowed the whole world. And grounding never really worked for me. I would be un-grounded in a day or two. Seriously. Sometimes it didn't even last a whole day.

But I wasn't really spanked after the age of 12 or somewhere around there. So, I don't know.

And taking a door away? Please. I've had worse than that. Why at age seventeen would you even stoop to calling your brother names, to begin with?

And no one forced you to have to change in your closet. I change in the bathroom sometimes myself. It works great. So, maybe you should try it. But no, taking a door away is not the end of the world. It has happened to my sister and me both.

Answer 4

You are 17 and you are calling people names -- so you are acting like a 5 year old and you wonder why you are are being treated like a 5 YO.

I would not spank a 17 YO.

Taking the door off a bedroom - use the bathroom to change.

You sound immature, you are being treated that way. Talk with your guidance counselor about it, you might get some help there.

Better yet, start acting like an adult and you will be treated like one.

Answer 5

If you know the rules then why would you break them? I tell you if i knew i would get a spanking for calling names, I wouldn't. Your parents have every right to use spanking with you until your 18. Every parent must chose whats best for their children. As for taking the door off, I plan on using that method once my girls are teens. Have you ever thought of changing in the bathroom? Bathrooms should have locks. The fact that you don't have any privacy is the point of the consequence. Follow your parents rules to help avoid these consequences.

I would personally chose other methods other then spanking at that age, but who's to say I am right? their is no parenting manual out there, as long as we love our children, we do what we must. Once you have your own children you will be able to raise them as you see fit. Until then their roof their rules, once you turn 18 your free to move out on your own.

Be thankful that your parents care about you.

Good Luck

Answer 6

spanking a 17 year old girl is never an appropriate punishment. it's just wrong, and on so many levels. more appropriate punishments could be things like grounding, taking away priveleges, and taking away possessions for awhile (the computer, the phone, games, etc). as for the door being taken off because you were fighting with your brothers, that does not seem like an appropriate punishment. what was THEIR punishment for fighting with you?

Answer 7

No it is not wrong!! The same happened to me...(my door taken away) Privacy should be a right,,,,heck even in jail you get your own door and space!! I think it teaches kid's to look for alternative ways to lash out such as ummm what did i do oh yeah SNEAK out!! ha ha And as for the spanking of a 17yr old that is pure outrageous.....there are 17yr old parents out there!!

Answer 8

First of all spanking, hitting, slapping, whats the diff. no one should ever lay hands on kids. Who in the hell gave neone rights to putting a age limit on hitting a child? There are other ways of punishment, but taking the door off is just down right syco. Why dont u try TALKING things out. If your 17 u legally can leave home, n if i was u i would pack my s**t n go.

Answer 9

Spanking at any age is wrong but after a certain point it becomes sexual abuse--around the time of puberty. Taking the door off--I would do this if the child were doing something like smoking, drinking, having sex, or sneaking out but I would ask they change clothes in the bathroom.

Answer 10

i think spanking a 17 year old is way over the edge, max for spanking is 12 years old, and taking off the door at that age is definatly out of the question, max is the age of 13.