He keeps telling me he loves me, but that he can't make me happy. What can that mean? We were together 4 years and lived together 3. He was my FIRST. First love, first sexual encounter, first person to live with other than my parents. I love him like crazy and feel so lost without him! I don't see this ever going away! Someone please give me some advice and tell me that it will get better. I hate this feeling! Whenever I talk to him he is so rude to me and when I text him or call, he doesn't answer until later and that hurts me and sets me back even more. I really miss him alot! I sincerely love him. I used to do so many things for him. He started hanging out with his friends and going out alot after our break up and has not wanted anything to do with me since. Before, when we broke up he would beg me to get back to him ASAP, but now, he's so different. He says it has nothing to do with a female or girls or his friends. He says we are different. Yet he tells me he still loves me. HELP!
2006-12-05 15:08:14 · 15 answers · asked by tddvan69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Number one... STOP contacting him.
Number two.... hang out with your friends and family and people who love you.
Number three... DO NOT answer any messages or calls from him.
Number four.....Focus on work or school, which ever you are into right now. Better yourself and push yourself a little bit, and keep the focus off of him.
The saying that time heals all wounds is actually the truth. I went through a similar thing when my GF left me to go back to her ex after 3 years. All i could think about was her and being alone, and after about 6 months the pain got less and less BECAUSE there was NO CONTACT between us.
I know it hurts but you will get over him and find a great guy.
2006-12-05 15:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by Thumper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, how old are each of you? Sounds like you are much more mature than he is and are willing to lay everything on the line including your feelings over and over again. A very, very good friend gave me excellent advice many, many years ago and that was, "IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A RUG MAT, THEN PEOPLE WILL WALK ALL OVER YOU"!! Now think about that for a while. That is exactly what this guy is doing to you. Sweetheart, move on and find someone that is worthy of you and what you have to offer, it is very obvious that this guy doesn't have a clue and doesn't care either. You deserve to be happy don't you!!! Now go look into the mirror and tell you that you love yourself much to much to keep taking his crap and you want to be happy, and then go for it!!! Happy Holidays and I hope your New Year brings you much happiness.
2006-12-05 15:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by Cindy Roo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop utilizing "da" as "the" might be a begin. I desire you do not pronounce the phrase like that while you speak. Anyways, you particularly will have to permit move of him. You have your possess matters occurring and after graduating I'm certain you'll be able to be busy together with your profession. Don't keep in a dating that may simply difference their brain like he does. Plus, you are nonetheless younger so there are plenty of unmarried men watching for a well lady to relax with. Good good fortune and hold your head up.
2016-09-03 11:51:07 · answer #3 · answered by alienello 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon. your hurting deeply now. All of us at one time or another in our life have fallen in love so deeply that we feel like we don't have a life without them, but we CAN'T be with them. I believe he loves you, but it isn't the kind of love that will be able to be in a relationship. You miss him like crazy, but you also know that the dysfunction isn't liveable between the two of you. You will miss him and you will grieve the loss. But, you are also wise enough to know that he can't be the one for you. You might have him in your heart forever, but you will find other loves. And you will be amazed that your heart can have more than one of your life.
You will just have to go through the pain. It will get better. I promise you it will get better. Infact when it gets better than you imagine. Once your heart catches up with your head you will be fine. You are establishing what you need in a man and also establishing what you can't deal with in a man. If you learn these lessons you have a great chance of finding a wonderful man to love.
I promise you that you are on a journey to finding the right man for you. Please stop textig or calling him. He has made it clear that he doesn't treat you well. This is a part of him that you can't deal with. Think of him as a dangerous toxic fire. And you keep sticking your hand back in the fire, even though you know you will get burned. Stop texting and calling....it is painful toxic fire. Why continue to put yourself through this? It is time to take care of YOU. He keeps hurting you.
Get yourself busy with other people. Do something nice for other people. Realilze that you have to get through the pain. Instead of negative self talk, change the inner voice telling yourself that you are strong and you will love again and it will be better than you ever imagine. You deserve a guy who isn't going to jerk around with you,being nice one minute then being rude the next. You deserve much better. You will have a more matrue love next time.
It is better to break up than to constantly live in a broken relationship. You will pull out of this soon.
Stop letting him jerk you around. He does it becasue you let him.
Stop the calls. Stop all connection with him. Don't allow him to abuse your heart anymore.
You will be better than fine. You will surrive.
2006-12-05 15:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is a tough and emotional roller coaster you're on and I totally understand. I just got out of a similar situation. I would just tell you to give him the space that he is obviously in need of. And really, it is most likely that he has some inner issues going on. Just stand by and be his friend. Don't push him, leave him to figure out things for himself. Some guys get to a point in their lives when they just need to be alone. If it was meant to be it will be. Just like the old saying goes, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with."
2006-12-05 15:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by AnswerWhore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one way to see if you can get him back is to date other people and make sure he knows it - inconspicuously of course...playing hard to get is always a good thing in these types of relationships. if he loves you like he says he does - he will get jealous and try to win you back. let him do the work - don't push, don't call, don't text. wait. maybe he just needs time. on the other hand, if this doesn't work - maybe you can see what else is out there. sheryl crow's song - "the first cut is the deepest" is so true...yet does ease with time. good luck.
2006-12-05 15:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you forget this guy as soon as you can and move on to better pastures. He's playing lip service to you and what he's saying is a crock of crap. There are many men in the world that would love to have a woman like you to hold and love. Don't call him, don't text him, don't acknowledge his existence.
2006-12-05 15:15:39 · answer #7 · answered by supressdesires 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immediately end all communications with this guy and start casually dating. You don't want to look for a soul-mate at this point, just a diversion to keep your mind off this guy. It will not get better, it will not feel better, until you move on with your life. I was in the same situation.
2006-12-05 15:15:49 · answer #8 · answered by lil star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg u need to get out more its been 4 months that is half a yr and u still upset. omg what is this world coming to. omg and ur first sexual partner. girl there is so many more men to go thru b4 u find the one. its so not the end of the world..why do u girls fall so in love with the first person u sleep with. it amazes me.
2006-12-05 15:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will not get over it while you have hope that it can be saved.
Getting over a situation means COMPLETELY letting go of it. Realizing that it is gone forever and nothing you can can make it work. It wasn't meant to work and now you are free to seek something better than can make it. Don't think, KNOW, that it is over and you will begin to get past it.
2006-12-05 15:10:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋